Judge — May 26, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

104 HUM OF THE COURT. HASKA TO HIS BRIDE—* Hail, Fellows! well me 4 *DATIENCE,” as given by amateurs, re- cently demonstrated extraordinary ability by the audience in the title role. WE DO NOT believe Kate Fox is given to fire-water, It must be the Indian spirit by which she is at times temporarily occupied. VERY EDITOR on the Masl and Express is expected by Brother Shepard to say two prayers, sing three psalms, and write at least nine lines a day. THEY SAY that Dan Voorhees is suffering from a bad carbuncle; and that’s the mean- est name for John Ingalls’s speeches that has been invented yet. ZOras NEW NOVEL is written solely for the benefit of young girls. When the devil writes his book perhaps it will be circulated at the protracted meeting. Bourke COCKRAN is hereby informed that no seven-by-nine lawyer will presently be permitted to take up a case until it has been passed upon by the leading newspapers. Miss Cocctas—" Do LEGAL DECISION in Sacramento holds that a pocket-knife is a burglar’s tool; and Wwe suppose that when a man has his hands in his pockets he is carrying concealed weapons. HAT A MAN disagrees with you is no sign that he is superficial; but if he disagrees with us that is a very different matter. OU ARE NOT altogether right, Mr. Hewitt, The American ide: far as your party is concerned, is to put none but Irishmen on guar TOWN in this state has two papers which never say mean things of cach other ; but paralysis of the right arm is just as common there as it is here. ‘O SEVERAL book-writers who are visiting America—Matthew Arnold spoke disrespectfully of us, and you see what's become of him, don't yer know ? YOUNG MAN went down the stairs of an elevated station in two steps, five somersaults and a dozen bumps. “Hah!” he said to his THE WEST AS IT IS. Young Brimmer of Boston has gone west to go into business. Rancisowsnx (as the pilgrim appears on the morning of his arrival)" Now, my young friend, if you'll go out and swap off that arsenal for a cool suit of clothes we'll see what you know about double-entry.” JACK TAR DISCOUNTED. you really think it is becoming ?"* Mapawe Desriaises—" A dream, m'mselle. Eet makes you one gr-rrand—vat you call—Jill tar!" astonished friends, casually brushing himself off and looking at his watch. “Excuse my haste, but I was temporarily under the impression that I was going to lose the be HERE WAS something absurd in the serenade of a veteran in the words "Come to these arms and live again,” because he had had both of ‘em shot off. A NEW YORK actor begged the newspapers to let him alone, anit thee days thereafter was out of a situation and under arrest for debt. Busi ness is business, E DON'T KNOW what the editor of the Detroit Free Press has been saying lately, but he says the market price of perjury “varies the same as wheat and corn.” T 1S Goldwin Smith's idea that every native American ought to pray in- cessantly to die because he wasn't born in England; but Goldwin isa't much more of a maniac than are certain of the natives themselves. D that Sam Jones's converts do not stick to their pro- ssions; but Sam turns out a very fair article and men’s ideas are as apt to wear out as a suit of clothes. DECORATION DAY should be observed as often as it comes aroun otherwise every citizen is as ungrateful as if he were a Democratic president with the imperial power of a veto. ATHER THAN be saved by a woman an orthodox Methodist leader would go to the wrong place and how! his sermons to an unapprecia- tive congregation in the utmost argumentative and physical agony. [7 JS SAID that John L. Sullivan cries when he is intoxicated : so that like that mythological girl, he must be in a continual state of sighs and tear I, it wouldn't be safe to make rough remarks to a man of his sighs. TH RMAN socialist doesn’t care so much that, having cars, the crown prince hears not; but he thinks it exasperating that, having heart, he fecls not, and having brains he is yet without the slightest valuable information. F THE WOMEN Methodists of this country were spiteful they would become religious mugwumps, and in that case the church would cither die or go over to the secessionists. Pray heaven we may never have such a catastophe as that ! R, BON NEVER let Dexter trot for the amusement of the pubic, * and even the animal's funeral was private and without flowers. Something rather selfish there. What if R. B. were to hire all the great singers, lawyers, actors and clergymen for his private delight and de lectation? DAN ANTHONY (Susan's brother) wanted to run for governor of <ansas on the prohibition ticket, and the other night some burglars broke into his cellar and found there many brands of wine and harder liquids. We very readily acquit Dan of hypocrisy, however, He didnt use those liquors. He kept them merely for the accommodation of his prohibition friends, comicbooks.com