Judge, 1888-05-19 · page 3 of 16
Judge — May 19, 1888 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"How Rexford Won His Spurs"** mocks social climbing. A young man named Rexford rises from manual labor to becoming a correspondent by impressing his boss's daughter—suggesting that advancement depends on charm and luck rather than merit. **"He Resumed His Old Ways"** ridicules etiquette obsession. Claude learns elaborate rules about eating soup "properly" (from the side of the spoon, requiring a shaved mustache), then sensibly ignores them—satirizing upper-class pretension. **"Law's Heavy Heel"** critiques judicial inequality: a poor man stealing silverware gets ten years, while someone stealing a railroad would escape justice—commentary on class-based legal disparities. Other pieces include light verse and brief comedic dialogues about various social situations. The cartoons throughout use exaggerated character drawings typical of 19th-century satirical illustration. Overall, the page targets social hypocrisy, class privilege, and absurd fashionable conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE ‘A KALEIDOSCOPIC CHANGE. extra Caaneser ercontin" Lsweartr it HOW REXFORD WON HIS SPURS. Rexford was downeast, On leaving college he had felt called to fine arts, but as his father had mortgaged even the cow t graduation the boy coneluded to go to work for Sugar, Light-W 8. pictures of achines, he realized that he would wr or holding the horse on a delivery epost xford in and tomat barrels down ertently started that drink young m nstead of counti neve asif relieved of empty Hour: attend to the European corsesponde: Half an hour hiter Rexford’s legs might have been seen dangling from a Russia leather covered stool. Mr. Light-Weight’s pretty daughter had just gone, not altogether disappointed at not finding fap. and the young man was humming an air—" We never drink tehind the bar!” On what trifles hang human destinies! LAW'S HEAVY HEEL Bohley—*‘Justice can move quick- Iywhen she wants to. Here's a fellow sole some silver-plated ware, and the sume day he was sent up for ten years.” Wiggins—"'Ten years! 1 won- der what he'd have got if he had silroad?” y—"Got off, of course, do you suppose the statute of tons was invented for?” ACREON. Gols may drain the cup ef joy Trojan boy Gaze upon the mise are we for are we for sorrow's bi en the glittering bowl we ving oer with rosy wine: the bacchanlian song among the mddy throng? spirit of the vine maid whom best 1 ld Giants an’ Ind Chanesce—" Whi HE RESUMED HIS OLD WAYS, Claude had just learned something that he nev He had read that the proper and ing soup into one’s system was to t knew before. prreet manner of absorb- it from the side of the spoon, from the tip—a momentous edict that has lately gone out from the public press throughout the count He blushed to think how often he had taken his soup in catel-as: catcheean style, But it was not too bite to reform, Litbont whieh his Twas still in doubt way from wht 1 side of the spoon the soup these facts: Firstly, a man, in onler to absorb soup gracefully in the man- ner prescribed by the etiquette fiend, must shave off his mous: tach Secondly, the transverse diameter of his mouth must equal the longitudinal diamete Thirdly, the tip dat the sid purthiy, even then it isn't pos- of the spoon, the spoon must. Having discovered these facts he resumed Ins former untutored man- of eating soup, as was handiest. The world kepton revolving just the same. NO OBJECTIONS TO CHILDREN. Then said the girl: * Ma‘am, no offense: 1 by a once pretty wo: man—" Wrinkles are the furrows in which Time sows the seeds of ennui with a generous hand.” AT AN EAST-SIDE LUNCH. Jaggs—" Er Attendant John, wl Cheese, sir.” Jaggs —" Whew! Why didn't ve it embalmed before you is this?” you set it up comicbooks.com