Judge, 1888-03-24 · page 3 of 16
Judge — March 24, 1888 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of late-19th-century American humor magazines: **"A Leap for Love"** mocks romantic courtship through a woman's dramatic marriage proposal, undermined by her suitor's casual indifference and then a petty complaint about postage stamps on official documents—satirizing both sentimental romance and bureaucratic absurdity. **"Whiskers"** features comedic personifications of jokes as characters competing for relevance, suggesting Judge's self-aware commentary on humor itself becoming stale. **"New to Housewives"** plays on a young wife's ignorance—she wants cobwebs in the pantry to hang spiders on, rather than understanding they indicate neglect. It's gentle mockery of domestic naïveté. **"The Wrong Way"** and other brief pieces satirize social pretension, religious hypocrisy (a landlady serving meager Lenten meals while claiming moral superiority), and provincial ignorance (a country justice of the peace expecting newspaper coverage of his hotel visit). The overall tone is lighthearted social satire targeting middle-class manners, courtship conventions, and the gap between aspiration and reality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A LEAP FOR LOVE. She had loved him deeply and silently for threelong. waitir Butin this, the wason of his unpopular Siete of courtship, she re | these solved to break cruel be that bore with such erush- ing weight upon her ten- der, twenty-seven - years: maiden heart As she, by a sublime sacritice of her shrinking nature, summoned up courage to take bis hand, she whispered, “O, von Dudoo! 1 long to bind your soul to mine in the holy bonds of wedlock, and stamp upon your brow the kiss of tender ownership.” And his cold, “any: day 1” steuc ply, “Don’t you know it's a legal offense to tamper with th twocent stamp for my brow. I go without.” WHISKERS. “How are you get- f° said’ the Tee: o the Plumb: us they rattled over the cold and cheerless pavemeni of LOST ON HER. By Jove, iny little attentions have completely mashed her! Isn't she charming" the most obliging and best-bred waiter Tever saw.” 0 avest (to friend) Swe (to her friend)—" He Nobody, youngest, has dared to present me to an editor in this town; and T long even for the warmth of a waste-basket to thaw out my old bones.” “Don't try that!” cried the Ice-cream joke w: escaped being melted to death the other day only the Coal-strike joke took pity on my age and blew m window.” “T narrowly asket fire — out of the vul-strike!” exclaimed the Plumber's joke: ‘‘the giddy old “Te used to be the old-fashioned 1 joke, but since he got vd from the Mother-in-law joke he has dyed his mustache and iyphen into his nam FASHION'S SLAVE, “Oh, mat” said little Lil, who was out let me go and tell that that some one has been n April fool of her mother my dear!” replied that isn’t an April latest style of bus- SOMETHING WRONG SOME- WHERE. How's your grandfather, Herix Not very well these days.” thing serious the mat- 3 NEW TO HOUSEWIVES. “No, James,” said a young wife, “ Idon't like that house we looked at. Why, there isn’t a cobweb in the whole pantry.” “What do you want a cobweb in the pantry for?” asked her husband. “Why, to hang the spiders on, to be sure.” THE WRONG WAY. “Tsay, Bill,” said one London street urchin to another on seeing a y, “that felle , not his ‘at to MAKING RELIGION PAY. “Is this all you have for breakfast, ma'am?” inquired the new boarder. “Yes, tha 1,” re: plied the landlad, You must remember this is Lent, and I always try to keep my house moral and respectable.” HIS FIRST VISIT. Squire Oatcake (of Podunk) — ‘See here, 1 don't think you hotel folks are treatin’ me half right,” Hotel clerk—‘* Why, what's the matter now?” Oatcake—" Didn't I sign my name good an’ big on your register when I came here?” Clerk—' Oatcake. back county? An’ didn’t I tell ye I was a justice o' the peace in Way’ e n't some o' your New York papers said somethin’ about my comin’? We allus do that when your folks come to our taown.” ST. PATRICK'S DAY. Teacher—** Herbert, you may tell me, if you can, is called He have a chance THE FISHERIES BUSINESS. John Bull sent Joe to Yankee town With his fishy treaty; He stuck his’ thumb inside his chi “Oh, Yankee fish is meaty!” Tom Bayard bossed it, the fishers ost it. Joseph said he ing there in it, fe drowned it, hurrah.” Sot A GREAT QUESTION ANSWERED. “Pa,” said Bertie the other y. why do they call a ship “she? “Because, my son, she is al- j We fear $0. Grandfather ) ga wus BEAL, ; / ways on the lookout for some of has taken to smoking cigarettes,” a the buoys, — a «is: The purse of Fortunatus lives fring a fool, the fool Now, as in days of yore: Considers himself as wise: NE: QUTGREW: WS USEFULNESS, ‘Tis only Love — the more Love «fore the fool a fool gives . temains until he dies. The more it hath in store. Parkinson was a most excellent coachinan, and had been in the family for years: but when he got so old and near-sighted as to drive Aunt Esther up to one of Mr. Benzh’s fountains one day, instead of Mrs, Fontenoy's stepping stone, she hav! to discharge him.