Judge — January 21, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MY BACHELOR FRIEND. THE dainty cigarette may woo in vain ; You list not the allurements of ci; Pitched to high key, but hold y: The glow of life here in my pipe-lit star. ‘There may be friends as trne—none are more near Than thou, my faithful pipe, beyond all doubt ; Within thy bowl are company and cheer : Hold! Here the match, the fire has gone out. How have you held my poesies in keep! ‘{1e secrets—hush ! else other minds may reap ‘The gentle tokens I have whisper'd you And told you hold them as you always do, Let cigarette and dainty filler rule of vast minds; I cling to thee. ‘e of the pipe, whose gentle moments school To sweet subjection fancies I've in view, I'll be to thee the friend thou’st been to me. DOMESTIC ECONOMY. Mus, Scwvacexueno—" Poof real har-rt, Fritz! Der fire in der shtoaf hez gone aus." NO TROUBLE ABOUT AN ALIBI. Lawyer—* Now, you are sure you can prove an alibi on the tri Client. fy dear sir, Tecan prove two of them if necessary. I've got to be acquitted if Ihave to prove half a dozen.” OUR CHOICE. Some boys like the maiden with sauey blie eyes, Or faney the girl with gold hair: Some chaps like the lass of diminutive size, Or maid with a scholarly : ‘ouths are quite part tender young dears Or beauties who weightily crash: But men are convinced thro’ the knowledge of years There's naught like the girl with the cash. NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT. They were on the upper deck and the weather was inclined to be rough. They were discussing benevolence. She--"* You know what the bible sa “Cast thy bread upon the ters *"— He (hastily) —** Ex-excuse me, I think I'll try HIM WHAT LARFS FUST DON’ ALLUS LARF 6eST, | RECKON. it now.” “Hello, Mistah Simpson! whar yo" started fo’ today “Nowhars in ‘ticular, Mistah Johnson. You see de And he rushed for the side of the vessel to see wid yo" gue and am‘aishun ¥* fact am dat corn am so preciously skerce dis yeah dat fe een corn fin 2 rece the color of the wate OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. Ole a tt ecomes ina canter toe him dat libs in a De lazy man am allus ready toe prophecy a open wintah. A little man doan’ look any biggah on top a hitehin’-post. Dar nebbah war a cloud so tick dat sunlight didn’ bimeby bore fru hit, De shil'n foun’ in de road a’n't so val'ble ez de sixpence dat pays fo’ sweat, look laik each oddah, but wait twell yo" shells befo yo" judge. Possesshun am mo! en nine points ob law toe de casheah dat gits intoe Canada, Make yo" hoss run wen a walk ull doan’ hem boun’ toe walk w'en yo" er hasty. _ Ef yo’ hiah yo! apples haavested, doan'’ be S'priss de few toe de bushel. Yo" mus’ spec’ toe git pricked by de briars ef yo" Wantah git wat er behin’ de hedge. A smaat man doan’ need toe be han'some; an’ a han'son ma . . By this time the crop of Mistab Johnson's game cock ~ Mita Johnson, you'll skuse me while | take care ob brink nan doan’ seem toe hab any use fo" sd been thoroughly expanded by the production of dis har crop ob cora ob mine, eh *" 4.4 watprox. —_Mistah Sitmpson's precious crop. : comicbooks.com