Judge — January 14, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. A MAN OF NERVE. De po’ singal allus wants toe sing. Bagley—‘* Who is that distinguished looking man ahead of u: Gagley—" Tha shir 1a tree in de eye ob di who never knew fear ~usshoppal. of mistakes war crimes nun ob us ud be outen jail. ¥ black: ts strong twell he meddles wid a watel: from a dru eniggah dat stea . Cc sleep. mayor's kitehen maid tinks she am aldaliman watah dat tickles de millah tu’ns ‘is w'eels may raise Je debbil wid somebody's gahden fudder down de stream. ah en de wife oba Bayley—" T can believe eneral Swordangun, A very brave soldier on; T just saw him get a two-cent stamp A RACE INSULT. Donohue —** Git out av here, dombed brass-jawed pig-tail! We haythens.” “And are yez afther forgettin’ thot Oim one av the kin scold de chile twell de sun goes down an’ he doan’ care, late prastes av Barnum’s whoite elephant ?, Shame on ye, Donohue! Hit’s de gad dat he “bjects toe, De falimah w'ose lan’ am” JOHNNY LOADS GRANDPA’S PIPE WITH PHARAOH'S SERPENTS AND THE OLD GENTLEMAN SWEARS fitted fo cawn allus wants toe riz OFF SMOKING. some exidah crop, AML d= jow'ly ain't gol’, but hit ud take a expert toe t de brass. » men make mo’ noise 1 aday’s wuek dan oddahs doin gittin’ a fawehune. De man dat staats out toe git de good will ob eberybody must hiah sumun toe ‘tend toe ‘is business, J. AL WALDRON, HE NEVER SEES PEOPLE. “Lots of people in town now,” observed a man in an elevated train to one in the next re there 2” yy yes, the streets are full of them. Can't ‘ou see for yourself 7° Gxaxnra—~ Johnny, fetch me my pipe, will yer? The terlacker's on the table. “You evidently don't know street-car driver with I the man softly. PACKED IN CORK. “Why is it,” asked a man of a iruitdeale grapes all come by the way of Ineland I never heard that they fruit-dealer. re packed in TOO SOON. ‘What do you think of di- vorce ?” asked some one of a young girl “Oh! Tdon't know. [hadn't thought of getting married yet.” “Tut! tut: tut: Have I changed so ¢” A CLINCHING ARGUMENT, “What maxes you think the labor party could never gov- ern the country? asked an agitator, ” replied old Brown ig way, “it can’t govern itsel SO CONSIDERATE. Uncle James, who is a trifle » had his niece a silver atch for her New-year’s present. “Td have made it a gold one, my dear, but then how much greater the loss if you had been so unfortunate as to have it stolen.” VERY FORTUNATE. “Yes,” said a young Phila- delphian; “we have a tine little theatre in our city solely for the use of amateurs.” “That's fortunate for the public,” observed his friend. A THOUGHTFUL PATIENT. Jones was feeling a little unwell. “Run quick,” he said to his servant, “and. bring two doe- “Two doctors ?” “Yes, one to correct the mistakes of the other.” A HOPELESS CASE, Not bad for a professional drunkard: “Why will you make such a beast of yourself ¢” “To drown my cares.” “ And you succeed ?” “No; unfortunately they know how to swim.” “T've knowed licker to do it, but I didn’t “spect that weed was strong enough !* comicbooks.com