Judge, 1887-12-31 · page 7 of 18
Judge — December 31, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"My Second Cousin Poppy"** (top): A romantic poem mocking sentimental Victorian courtship. The narrator quotes Byron to a cousin while riding, then proposes marriage using flowery language. She deflates his romanticism with: "you haven't caught up yet"—cutting satire of overwrought male sentimentality. **"Bad Enough"** (middle left): Mrs. Pugwash complains that a letter carrier looks like he's had troubles. An old lady notes he's probably lost money, then observes that people always remember the postman when financial disasters occur—satirizing how the working class gets blamed for society's problems. **Street scenes** (illustrations): Appear to show urban life and church interactions. **"New Year's Tragedy—for Bad Boys"** (bottom): Moralizing tale where young Tommy steals money for a toy cannon, which explodes, teaching him a lesson. Period-typical cautionary fiction. **"Happiness in Store"** (bottom right): Brief joke where a man wants a woman's name on his calling list because her father is a wine merchant—satirizing mercenary courtship motives.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IT met her in resounding, And T thought it quite peculiar she should te her time on m dan expla bowed her 1 When I bey; “Twill telly own hea Lassumed the post of suitor as U thought it not asin To have her think me more th ittle less of kin, For the fellowship of cousins if they be of different sex ver been a trouble and [fear ‘twill Mas for ever vex. BAD ENOUGH. er?” asked Mrs. Pugwash. storm,” my route changed, mum,” replied the letter: ‘hry mose tone. are going on,” returned theold lady, “any d lost a lot of money.” at's just how it is, mum,” repli see is thing has happened just- around everybody remembers the postinan.” “You look like carrier ina ke ew-year, when _ ‘A UNIQUE CONTRIBUTION, ; Mn CoWPENCHER (has just returned from a long sojmurn in the seat, and geta roped church on collection Sunday)—" Don't look so blamed surprised, deacon! That's a FOIE SLIP. ants good fer a twenty-dollar shiner if yer'l mail it ter wicked Mike Hogan the summer by the loud- I read to her from Byron in a tent pitched on the sand : . With the freedom of pressed her hand rattling gig we joggled thro” lationship 1 often ion she devoutly at es While my sweetest of divinities shook out the leather reins, a fellow after my said. Till at last [looked upon her asa very tender fi kine an’s fellowship with cousins, if fascinating, end.) 1 to my rememt sloset of my head, a fellow after my own heart,” the pretty witch had said. from some So I marshalled all my feelings in a sentimental way, And I quoted the expression to my second Ma! Buta neater, cooler answer mortal man will never get: ack : you haven't caught up yet.” OF WITT STRRRY. IN FRONT OF ST. PAUL'S CHURCH. f White Plains" They ain't no flies ou that rooster’s beard, is they, A NEW YEAR'S TRAGEDY—FOR BAD BOYS. ranted a toy cannon ch as the other boys had for her wouldn't get him one for fear he might hurt hit. But Tommy was bound that he wouldn't be left like that, and when his father was asleep that night he went and stole a quarter out of his trousers pocket. Before the sun was up the next morning Tommy had bought his cannon and was busy loading it in the back yard. At the first discharge there wa report and the cannon burst into a thousand pieces. Tommy will never ask his father for anything any more. HAPPINESS IN STORE. “ Why are you so anxious to have Miss Smith’s name put on your calling list asked Cobwigger. “Because,” replied Merritt, “her father is a wine merchant.” comicbooks.com