Judge — December 1887 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHRISTMAS JUDGE “HE: KNOWED: WHO: NCLAVS WZ) —— Jes’ a little bit o' feller—I remember still— Ust to almost cry fer Christmas, like a Fourth 0’ July’s nothin’ to Lordy, though! at night, you know, to set around and hear The old folks work the story off about the sledge and deer, And “Santy" skootin’ round the roof, all wrapped in fur and fuzz— Long afore Tknowed who “Santy Claus” wuz! Ust to wait, and set up later a week er two ahead : Size the fire-place, and figger how “Old Santy” could Couldn't hardly keep awake, ner wouldn’t go to bed : Kittle stewin’ on the fire, and Mother settin’ near Darnin’ socks, and rockin’ in the skreeky rocking- cheer: Pap gap’, and wonder where it wuz the money went, And quar'l with his frosted heels, and spill his Manage to come down the chimbly, like they said he would: Wisht that I could hide and see him—wondered what he'd say Ef he ketched a feller layin’ fer him that But I bet on him, and liked him, s: liniment: And we wWhir and buzz, Long afore Tknowed who Wisht that yarn,wuz tru Truth made out o' lies like that-un’s good cnough fer me. Wisht I still wuz so confidin’ I could jé Over hangin’ up my stockin’s li Climbin’ in my lap to-night, and beggin’ me to tell “Bout them reindeers, and “Old Santy” that she loves so well ; T'm half sorry for this little-girl-sweetheart of his Long afore she knows who “Santy Claus is!” James Whitcomh Riley. about him as it ‘peared to be— go wild the little child A DIGNIFIED ASSERTION OF MANHOOD. **Boo—hoo—hoo! He says he won't never come home unless father apologizes for whipping him,” dreamin’ sleigh-bells when the clock ‘ud *Santy Claus” wuz! Turned (o pat me on the back and say, “Look a here my Ia Here's my pack,— jes’ he'p yourse'f like all good boys docs!” Long afore I knowed who “Santy Claus” war. GRAMMAR BY THE BUCKET. Recutar Customer—‘ Clove cock-tail, Jimmy, and make it bitter. Bystanper (a/ler customer has gone out)—'‘* What's cock-tail, Jimmy ?” BarrexpeEr—‘* Where yer been? It's a mix dat’s got stuff enough in it ter make it cleave ter der roof of yer mouth.” 1 ‘clove’ Christmas is to a mosquito as an unpaid bill is to the natural constitution. They are gone, but only to return again. Christmas is to the last cent a man h: girl are to the parlor in which the lights is a mighty tight squeeze. as he and his best are turned low. It comicbooks.com