Judge, 1887-12 · page 16 of 45
Judge — December 1887 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects holiday-themed humor from Judge magazine, featuring multiple brief comic vignettes about Christmas and romance rather than political satire. The main cartoon (top) shows a formal party where "Miss Carrington of Rhode Island" explains her plain dress choice to hosts, satirizing social pretension among the wealthy. The remaining jokes target familiar targets: schoolteachers moralizing about "savages" lacking Christmas; young boys' innocent but embarrassing observations about adults kissing; an uncle confusing a carriage with a "two-headed Dime Museum" creature (referencing popular sideshow attractions); children's literalism about gift horses and mistletoe; and family banter about expensive Christmas presents. The humor relies on wordplay, children's unfiltered honesty, class-consciousness, and period-specific references (bathing as courting, chiropodists, elephants stepping on pocketbooks for comic effect). It's genteel, domestic satire rather than political commentary—typical of Judge's holiday content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Miss Carri CHRISTMAS JUDGE RENEWING OLD TIES. T'd come in the dress you've usually seen me in.” A GOOD REASON. “Just think how unhappy the little savages must be,” d jay-school teacher, ying to pointa moral. “They have no Christmas at all. Can any of you tell me why?” “It's because they haven't any stockings to chipped in little Johnny. TOO YOUNG TO CATCH ON. “You would never guess what a pretty thing Cora had in her stocking this morning,” said little Johnny. “I know all about it, my boy,” returned Merritt, with a little smile. “Why, how know?” “Don't you remember that she and I went bathing nearly every day last summer?” would you HE WAS VERY EXACT. “Johnny said he saw you kiss Cora under the mistletoe,” laughed old Brown, digging Merritt in the ribs. “I’m sure he never said any- thing of the kind,” blushed Cora. ‘Now did you, Johnny?” “No, I didn’t,” replied the young fiend. “I said I saw him kiss you under the nose.” A NATURAL MISTAKE. UNCLE HayseED (on the Bowery)— By gosh! if here aint one of them there two-headed Dime Museum Curiosities out fur a ride. never see one like that afore. I wonder where's it's legs.” 1 (of Rhode Island)—"*1'm awfully obliged to you for the invitation; and being simply a Narragansett Pier acquaintance, I thought HE WAS NO HORSE. First Saat Boy (while Santa Claus ts distributing presents to the Sunday-school )—" Don’t look at Santa Claus so hard, Jimmy.” Sgcoxp Smatt Bor—“ Why not?” First Saati Bor—* Because Pa said to-day you ought not to look a gift horse in the mouth.” SeconpSaatt Bor—*Humph! Santa Claus is no horse !” SHE WOULD CONSULT AN AUTHORITY. Evernta De Garm—* Ma, don’t you think we might have the house trimmed up with a lot of mistletoe this year?” Oxp Mrs. De Garu—* I'll see about it, Eugenia; the chiropo- dist will be here this afternoon.” SHE KNEW ALL ABOUT IT. Fonp Davcuter—“ Pa, the presents I want to give this year will cost five hundred.” Fonp Fatuer—“Gertrude, I would dearly like to grant your request, but the elephant has stepped on my pocket-book.” Fonp Davcutrr—‘ It is as I supposed. Father, you have been seeing that animal too much of late.” comicbooks.com