Judge — December 1887 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHRISTMAS JUDGE (Scene.) OUTSIDE THE STAR THEATRE. Jingle has arrived at that state when general chaos reigns an on appear reversed. JincLe (fo Yaggers, who is simply imbee Sh: shome one’s been a playin’ a pra JacceRS —* Well, let em; who—o—o—0— cares?” CHRISTMAS BUZZ- SAWS. The biggest stocking doesn't always have the most put in it. Around Christmas time the turkey has a regular roast. Even the good boy doesn't get all he asks for. The old woman who keeps her boodle in her stocking never thinks of hanging it up. It is the free lunch fiend who knocks the stufting out of the turkey. The bad boy's short- comings are forgotten at Christmas. The Christmas tree bears queer fruit. Santa Claus turns a deaf ear to the greedy boy's requests. The bad boy often fares better than he deserves. The girl who hangs up the biggest piece of mistle- toe doesn’t get kissed the most. ‘The boy who helps himn- self to the mince pie is pretty sure to see a dozen Santa Clauses during the night. Jaggers, look; I jhoke with er shign !* Cuumiry—"M won't you?” HE GOT iT. Snosss ( fishing for a compliment)—** Aw—Miss Sparks, I'm afraid you do not find—aw— my cofversation very entertaining.” Miss Sparks (with enthusiasm)—* Indeed I do, Mr. Snobbs. You seem to be able to talk intelligently on the simplest topic; and the more trivial the subject the more you have to say.” THE ADVANTAGE OF HAVING A STOUT VALET. e're getting along nicely now, Pawker, but be extwemely cawful, You will never seeSanta Claus by looking up the chimney. The pretty girl doesn't know when she is well off, because she has a prettier thing to put in her stock- ing than anyone else could give her. “My Christmas box on you,” as the bully said, giving the small boy a Cuff on the ear. It is doubtful whether some people would have given you anything if you had not made them a pres- ent beforehand. Ifit wasn’t for the custom of hanging up the stock- ing, many a man wouldn't have to hang up his watch. There isn’t much dif- ference in the feeling of the boy who has had no Christmas and the one who has had too much. The lazy boy at school gets as long a vacation as the studious one. Jay. To the young man with a slim purse and a forty- ton girl “Christmas comes but once a year”—too often. The present period is perilous to Pullets, sir. comicbooks.com