Judge, 1887-12-03 · page 7 of 16
Judge — December 3, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces: **"Apology to PA"** mocks a young man's engagement to a beautiful but poor woman. The father's reply uses dark humor: beauty won't feed you when there's no money for dinner—a critique of marrying for looks alone without financial security. **"A Fine Opening"** satirizes fraudulent "business opportunity" schemes. A man waits four days for a supposed business prospect, only to discover it's a scam: starting a livery stable on Bedloe's Island (where the Statue of Liberty sits—impractical and absurd). **"Those Bills"** and **"Working for Humanity"** are brief dialogue pieces. The latter jokes about a saloon keeper's "free lunch" (a common bar practice)—he sarcastically claims providing it benefits humanity while actually hoping customers will buy drinks. **"The Sly Rabbit"** appears to be an illustrated fable, though the narrative isn't fully visible. Overall, the page targets financial schemes, impractical business ventures, and working-class struggles—typical Judge magazine themes from the Gilded Age.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
APOLOGY TO PA FOR ENGAGEMENT TO A PENNILESS BEAUTY. Tid plight. ould charm a stone fellow— eyes are so bright And her hair ix so yellow. PA'S REPLY. When the dinner-times con And you've nothing for dinner, Without even When You'll wish When you asked her, young sinner, When the dinner-times come And you've nothing for dinner. 3.8 nowrns, A FINE OPENING. Kidley--" Wat makes your] up so, old man ?” Faggs Kidley Faggs— No; bus- i I've been waiting in town four days for a man who advertised a fine bus- THOSE BILLS. iness opportunity, Mns, Gavren's rooTmas:-” Here's a card, me teddy.” and T've just seen was. Oay rally busy him.” thina "De, Kidley—* Buncot” 7 Faggs— worse than that. He wanted me to join in with him and start a livery-stable on Bedloe's island.” foorst an’ ‘me leddy.” WORKING FOR HUMANITY. “ Haven't you had about enough of that free lunch sked a suloon-keepor of a seedy indi vidual who had he is doing something for the benefit of his fellow men, “Tdon't exactly understand.” “Oh, you don't? Well, [ve seen this here same lunch for a week, and T want the next man who comes in to have something fresh.” THE SLY RABBIT. A TALE OF THE JEKSEY UPLANDS, ldn't n by comicbooks.com