Judge — November 5, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE UNCLE NAT’S SQUIRREL GUN. men never know nothin’ anyhow, Why PREPARATIONS FOR A FAST. Bagley—*T'm yoing to hotels, and have the report spread, so that the waiters will it, that Tam violently opposed to tips.” HAD A FLANNEL MOUTH. Husband—* Are flannels being worn much nowadays ?” Wife—* Well, not to any great extent.” Husband—* Well, Vve ‘got an Trish porter, and Tl wager he akes vou think so, « shows it in his mouth Husband —* He GOOD STUFF FOR A CITIZEN. Iaposten citizen (to embryo citizen jit arrived at Castle garden)— Av coore. Moike, afther votin’ th’ Dimicratic thicket this fall >” Emiorast acho ie a fugitive from English miarutes there +" 1ZEN—" AV coone we have.” Esorant (ecisirely) * Phat’s that ye say + * Thin begob Oi agin it.” Phat! have yez a gov- A SIGNIFICANT EXAMPLE, * Do you see that man who takes up an ¢ dles while there are women standing up elevated train. “Ye replied Brown, * I know him. tra seat with asked Mrs. Brown in an He's a socialist.” RATHER SARCASTIC. “Thave been greatly di rd,” said a young author, “because T've seen inferior articles get into the best magazines just through: intlnence. However, I've had one of mine published at last.” “Indeed!” ejaculated Miss Snyder, smiling archly. ‘How did you manage to get the influence 7” THE FORCE OF HABIT. From an album. “ After forty ife becomes one great habit composed of a number of smaller ones.” And he did. BUZZ SAWS. A dog often bites his best friend. An honorable mention doesn't win any prize. Donnelly seems to be trying to whitewash his Bacon with acipher. It is the grub in the apple that eats himself out of house and home. A caramel tastes nicer than a piece of gu 1, but It doesn’t last so long. The rent we make in a borrowed umbrella looks twice as big as it really is. Some men grow bald so soon that their hair never has a chance to turn gray The man who is goi zto the dogs generally gets there before 1 ver who asks for the daughter's hand often gets the old man’s foot. It begins to look as though the condemned anarchists were going to get it in the neck The boarder who ski shes to get the first pick at the corn often leaves the best rin the dish. The man who is most anxious to go to dinner on the first stroke of twelve isn’t in such a hurry to get back at one. AN EXTRAORDINARY YEAR D.. accustomed to pull the long bow, had just told so im at a general protest from his list stamped it as more than usually incredible. “You don't believe it 7” cried the narrator. “True, upon y honor; it happened just six years ago come the 31st of November. A fresh outburst of laughter saluted this statement. “Then, of course, it isn't true, for November only has thirty * * Well, it had thirty-one that year, anyway.” comicbooks.com