Judge — October 1, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ne xo neat and natty As can compare with Patty— Pretty Patty! A stew, a fry, a broil is well, A pearly raw on the alf shell, But ordsare weak the charms to tell Of dainty Patty — Oyster Patty ! Now Hattie, Kattie, Mattie, Must all Patty— Charming Patty ! Each in art had whi a star, Had not the year advanced so far And reached the months each with an R, And brought me Patty—Oyster Patty ! 6, minpaeve, » place to VERY STRICT RULES. Conductor—"* What have you got in that basket ¢” German—" Dot ish sausages fer de picnic.” Conductor—** You'll have to take it into the baggage our rules relative to dogs in the passenger cars is very strict.” THE ONE THING NEEDFUL. A revivalist in a Michigan town had dis- Jon the bible for two hours and got his ce worked up to the point of enthusiasm. y hearers, there is one thing that it would be impossible for us to get along with- out. Who can tell me what it He expected the audience te but he discovered that he had mistaken the character of his hearers when a grizzled long- beard arose and said ** quinine.” STRONG DRINK IS RAGING. Old Mr. Sandstorm—** Young Peterly, they say, has developed a taste for strong drink. It’s dreadful to see a man ng to the bad.” Old Mrs. Sandstorm man gets dessicated that’s the end on him.” SHE MIGHT GET ONE. Mrs. Peterby (to new servant)—* The last servant had a habit of going into the parlor with her young man and sitting there the whole evening. Have you a young man ?” New servant—‘* No, mum; but [ might get one with such inducements offered.” NO CAUSE FOR WORRY. “How is my boy getting on?” inquired an anxious father of the principal of a boarding- school. “Wonderfully, wonderfully,” replied the pompous pedagogue. ‘He is making rapid strides in everything but penmanship. I'm sorry to say he’s the worst writer in the school.” “Pshaw !” returned the father; ‘don't trouble yourself on that account. [intend to make doctor of him.” JUDGE MORE APPROPRIATE THAN AFFECTIONATE. “My poor deluded son,” said Mrs. Malaprop, shaking her head in the direction of a fat girl who wore an enormous bustle, **so that is the kind of thing he calls a duck, i: “T presume.” returned old Brown, smiling mischievously, **it is because she waddles su.” WELL POSTED. Her, ma ?” asked little Johnny. ur father, my dear,” she replied with a sneering intonation; “ he knows “What's a fool “ Goand ask everything.” foolkiller, my boy,” returned old Brown, glancing slyly under his paper at his wife, ‘isa little thing called a cigarette,” A TRUTHFUL MAN. “You are sure this new witness is such unimpeachable veracity that his testimony reat influence with the jury ?”" asked the counsel of his client. replied the prisoner, ‘I'm sure of it, because of his occupation.” “And what is that ?” “He's the snake editor of the Sun.” 1S THIS A FOEMAN WORTHY OF OUR STEEL? Cotanow — Me heap big bad Injunt Waugh!! Wantee grub sudden! Wow-wow!!!” Lrrrur Jonssy (one minute later)" Th’ dago didn't think ther wuz a man ‘round th” house, did be, marm 2" comicbooks.com