Judge — September 24, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4 JUDGE HUM OF THE COURT. It is now time to in- sist that every place is a better winter resort than any of the others. A business man ad vertised for a boy who didn’t care for base-ball died lon, before he was born. Is it to be assumed that Sir Francis Bacon wrote those verses about that fine article of snow? Pretty point by the Lowell Courier, that when a man is called colonel it is a sign that he has never been to war. The labor men an. nounce in their plat- form that they “view with alarm.” It sounds: as if the new party were a real old one. The success of Count Mitkiewiez is proof positive that the less money ar has the greater his chance of success as a financi Vhat! going so soon, captain? It's Tknow it, my dear madam only KaMir and Zulu women. Carrars Bucvren am accustomed to gradually.” Zach Chandler said his idea of discomfort was to be im hell without a fan, and there was a mighty sight of suggestion in it. There is talk of Sarah Bernhardt taking herself toa nunner; then, it has been remarked that the moon is made of green cheese. Carter Harrison says his boy Cato is the only boy in Chicago t he doesn’t know. There was always a good deal of human nature in the Harrison family. It takes about three weeks for the boys and girls to settle down to their books, and by that time they have an ini for another vacation. Count Mitkiewicz says the newspapers mi They have had t good many A West Virginia clerg slipped and fell, and in his pocket went off him. Clergymen ought to con fine their shooting to the mouth. Whenever the editor of the Norristown Herald reads the heading ‘* Another Theatre Hor- ror” it makes him think of play called “Uncle Tom's Cabin ~ The Journalist says the coun- try editor is better off, on the whole, than his brethren of the city ; but there is one comfort— he can’t get half the satisfaction the latter do in lying about his circulation. “What would have become of Martin Luther,” asks Justin D. Fulton, “if he had gone to edit- ing @ newspaper? The more important question is, perhaps, what would have become of the newspaper ? A contemporary says Ben But- ler has a political method of his own. Yes, indeed—six or seven ee-whit HE TAKES HIS EDUCATION IN SMALL DOSES. you see Fe Tve got to get u son” extremely he: needs his six or eight or ten w to the support of his family. lently to the universal walking delegat about to be afflicted with a suit for divorce ROUGH ON THE ELEVATOR BOY. if the bull blamed tavern ain't a sinkin'!" of them; and the curious fact in connec tion with them is that if anybody else use them they would be so much dynamite to blow him sky-high. The political strug- gles in the country newspapers just at this time create exceedi awe. It is so singul; for instance, that the can be such a tremen- dous exhibition of pre- liminary bayonet with out the slightest draw ing of consequent blood. Sam Jones acknow! edges frankly — that when he began to be Christian he had to stop being a Democrat and Sam Small says for his part he wanted to leave the Democracy every time he got sober. At Atlantic City a woman had her leg broken by a heavy wave while bathing. That is the story, and it shows that * the s It must have been « Imost as heavy as the lie that tells of it The man who works has v to this New York undressing business to an end none too soon. wave has com y little time to waste on politics. He king hours to Here i: arn the bread necessary There is apprehension that a leading society lady of this city but of course that is ridic- alous, as she has never been abroad and therefore has not en- countered the prince of Wales. Of all the men mentioned for president just now there isn't one who doesn’t declare that he won't have the place, and some of them are so mad about it that they froth at the mouth. Perhaps it will be necessary to let the place to the highest bidder. . Cleveland has read Abram Hewitt and the fathers of this city a lesson in| manners that ought not to have been deserved, but that is just as good for all that. It ought to be just as im proper to invite Mrs. Cleveland to put herself on exhibition with- out the aid and support of her husband as to pay that remark- ble courtesy to Mrs. Smith or Mrs. Jones. Colonel Ingersoll says he has the most economical family the world. Economy is, how- ever, a broad term. Colonel In- gersoll is the kind of Christian, with all his atheism, who would other ily, whatever the cost, The expenses were necessary and you did exactly the proper thing in making them. Go and be ex- travagant some more, and if we can't meet the cost of it we'll go out and rob another client.” comicbooks.com