Judge — September 17, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

4 HUM OF THE COURT. **No woman can walk in a corset,” says a dress former; but the Norristown — Her- ald says any woman can, though it admits that it's a pretty tight squeeze. where I wo! ashamed to beseen myself "—and then he paused and looked with aston- ishment at the smiling court and jury. There is a man who makes it his bu ness to straight bow legs, and it, is a curious fact that nine-tenths of his custom comes from women. Scientists will please put that in their pipes when they want to smoke, Miss Olivia Cobb, the belle of Athens, Ga., is just out of her teens and yet has refused thirty offers of marriage. By the time th: lady is twenty-five she will be looked upon as a southern outrage to say the very besom of destruction. Miss L. (of Chicago) not The Courier-Journal says of Senator Riddleberger, who made him- self notorious on a recent occasion, ** He was drunk.” For heaven's sake ! what is that? Have we got so far in our classics that the original Latin must be brought in to express a state of things which no existing being knows anything about ? There is a classical rudeness here which delicacy repudiates with excessive scorn. Governor Hill's idea that there ought to bea patent milker fills a long felt pail. Whena woman makes mind, there isn’t drop that doc add cisterns to the over- flow of her conviction. The main difference as to cruelty and meanness between the cowboy and the Indian is that the cowboy never gets caught. It is estimated that Smith caught the most and the largest fish dur- ing the summer outing, and whi you about it. the man telling Sometimes good old jokes are repeated ; but the man who is respon. sible for it has the con- solation of knowing that the poor old ones are in- variably forgotten It seems that Cleve- land and Hill have not offered premiums for Yacnt owxen -* Haw | Cartars- Drop the hawses BY MOONLIGHT, B.—" I think I fancy guitar music bext by n 1 yes, his waltzes ary certal GETTING UNDER WAY. ‘Yacur owxen—" Haw ! do you mean to Ingult me, sir ?* twins or triplets, white or otherwine, It would have been, rank foolishness for them to do so but, now that the proposition has been made, the foolishness of the omission to do so seems worse than that. We suspect that Henry is George the last; but he has the most intol erable way of post poning his dyin It is public senti ment that Uncle Colorow go east—to join Buffalo Bill's esta blishment- nd grow down with the country. There is some- thing strikingly original in the methods of Gover- nor Hill, but so there was in those of the reptile that invaded the garden of Eden. = Now take in health, There is nothing so gorgeous as fall weather when it happens to be fall weather, and September and October are kings that ought to rule all round the year. It will never be forgotten that, as ex-Senator Conkling once said. your noble friend George William Curtis always casts a delicate and unique vote. don’t you think it lovely #* are they not A sneeze, says a scientist, is ‘an affection of the respiratory ner- vous centre, the afferent impulse of Which is conveyed by the trigemi nal nerve fibres.” May heaven help us, at this season there are such frequent changes in the weather “What is diviner,” inquires a recent poem, “than the peace of foes?” The divimty mentioned must be rather scarce, because necessarily there is no such thing, Several statesmen are hard at work telling the farmers how to raise crops ; but if the farm- ers should assume to tell them how to make votes the laugh would be on the other side. Among the curious questions that the scien Uist has yet to present is this—Why isamilk-stool invariably limited to three legs, while that of the counting-room is not considered complete unless it has four ¢ The agricultural ad- dress of the Hon. Amo Jefferson Cummings is said to be quite equal to that of the Hon. David Bennett Hill, _ princi- pally for the reason that it has nothing of an ag- ricultural_ nature in it but Mr. Cleveland's ag: ricultural address— which the same is the Jupor’s lovely idate for president—is better than either of them. the next move, captain ?*