Judge — September 10, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage: PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President Vice-President Art Department Paitor 1M. Greoouy TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED NTATES AND CAN Que cuvy one One copy for wt single Cop FOREIGN SCRIPTIONS—T» all foreign countries in the postal union, $3.0 year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING ComPaNy (Potter BUILDING), Park Row, New York, 62™ We guarantee advertisers a larger circulation at cheaper rates than any Amer- fean satirteat paper published. SCRATCH A PROHIBITIONIST and you will find he has fleas. Henry Goro is in labor andwill bring forth—ah, well, it may be an elephant. Henry George is mentioned as a new political comet, but in our opinion he can’t comet. Ir POVERTY is a disease, as Dr. McGlynn says, there must be new a school of medicine and lots of new kinds of pill. IT HAS BEEN an unusually healthy is at present afflicted with the malignant Colorow. summer, but the Ute country A NEW STYLE of dress coat has no tails. It reminds one of the tramp’s dinner, at which there was nothing to eat. A PRIEST IN POLITICS is like the girl with a secret and the youth with a loaded gun—he's never satisfied until he makes a noise. JUST NOW In September there: days. It is the subdued, ola gold that prevails aber. The skies are not of polished brass in September. There shines down upon you no thrice-heated sun, and there oppresses you noseven- times fired atmosphere. The sun-tlower is at its best. The grape is ripening. The morning-glory turns its colors to the light all day, and closes its eyes in the afternoon with the serenest of sleepy consolation. Corn has taken to itself the gloss within the husk that means meal and the husking. The pumpkin reaches its richness of gold and yearns to be broken from the stem and rolled into the cellar. Frost comes in September, The potato reaches its awkward _ro- tundity and metaphorically leaps to the expectant hoe. The air isa ing cocktail from morn ing till night. Presently there is a thin coating of ice on still water, and the small boy looks at it with much anticipation as to mittens Direet tly the light over- coat assumes attractiveness. The smoke trom the tall chimney across the way runs gleefully up to the bending s! The pan has sausage nd the griddle smokes of the early cake. There is no more lethargy. The summer laziness has gone. The lungs are filled with health. The step is light. The theatres bulge their walls with mirth and sentiment and melody. All the girls and boys, middle-aged, and old and young, browned and freckled, are back again and lad to get there. It is September. It is a great word with a great meaning. But what, after all, is September as compere with the healthful, gorgeous month that follows it? Coxpucton—" Fare THE CLEVELAND: ADMINISTRATION, “according to the mugwump Boston Herald, has been virtuous in spots. Will somebody kindly hard us a magnifier ? Reaet Cons of the Lockport Journal says he is willing to accept ‘A MISCONSTRUCTION. Par (taking his Art ride)—* Yis sor, fair ter middiin’. the JupGe’s lovely candidate for president, but her husband, Gro makes him tired. There is a discrimination here that does honor to the honorable gent! 1's heart and judgment. We have it ourselves to such a severe nt that we know just what it is. Mr. Howes speaks of Tolstoi’s “breadth upward and down- ward,” and we dare say the height of the gentleman around the waist is something wonderful. EXPECT THE, UNEXPECTED. There is a good deal of agitation in certain Demceratic newspapers the relations of Cleveland and Hill, the idea being that the latter cannot afford to sacrifice his only chance for the presidenc. order to gi former a second nomination as a disagreeable ne presently; but mean- while such politicians as are not acquainted with the interior of polit- nagement will do well to Keep, their eyes on the Tittle 1 man at discoves, than a serpent's ‘tooth. Dr. McGLYNN should remember that i is far from necessary to use such impetus as to land on the off side break one’s precious neck. Ir Prixce Ferptvanp leaves Bulgaria to go anywhere he is in danger, and if he remains at home he is in equal peril. Perhaps he had better split the difference and dig a hole. THE LEGAL METAPHYSICS. It never occurred to Judge Potter of Whitehall that Jacob Sharp was guilty. Bless your innocent heart! the question of guilt has nothing to do with t matter of conviction or acquit It cost the tax-payers of this c’ perhaps a hundred thousand dol- lars to convict this prince of ras- cals, but the fact that a fly rub- bed its toes on his proboscis and swabbed its wings against his most conspicuous ear upset all that cost and all the wisdom of Judge Barrett and all the ya- tience of the jury that. offic for so many weeks in his case. Certainly the law is the law, and it must therefore be right. But the legal right and the legal wrong are such curious things! They are so expensive! It doesn’t really seem just that a man should be released or sent up because he has a stye on his eye; and the fact that a presid- ing judge has breathed sidewise or lengthwise seems to the lav observation an unimportant thing against the acknowledged fact and proof and admission of guilt. Itis related of St. Pete that, being of a legal turn of mind, he refused John the Bap- tist admission to heaven on the ground that his face, as presented in the charger, faced the side rather than the front of the vessel; but John he said, ‘You blamed old fool! I've got a right there and I'll go in if I have to punch the head of the illustrious door-keeper.” Still, St. Peter wasn’t and isn't Judge Potter of Whitehall. We should need excessive prayer if he were. With Judge Potter of Whitehall in his place nobody could enter the gates, or goto the other place, if he were so unfortunate as to have a boil on his spiritual neck or a limp in his spiritual legs. How's yersilf 7 Even Lamont has left Washington, and the way this government runs itself is a repetition of the old idea that we have been governed too much, Mr. Bate gets about 2,000 letters a day during his absence in Europe. Straws are good, but when they are too numerous they may become irksome. Tue Democratic PARTY, according to the Troy Press, will never be beaten by the Republicans again ; when they are beaten it will be