Judge — August 27, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DROFEIRG A HINT. + And what mak 1 think I'maslow reader?” asked Merritt. “Because,” replied Miss Snyder, *Ilent you a book more than a y ago and you don’t seem to have finished it yet.” CAUGHT IN THE ACT. “Have you any of Dr. Leed’s patent cough syr- up?” inquired a gentle- man of a drug clerk. “No, sir; but I have some of my own make, which is as good if not better. Can I give you a bottle ¢” “No, I thank you ; am Dr, Leed.” APPRECIATION. Jones had gone down to Coney Island for the first time, and was lying on the sand watching the mn washed up by the . “And to think,” he mused, “ that that's the kind of stuff they make pipes of.” POPULAR SUPERSTI- TIONS, It is good luck To find five dollars. To back the winning horse. To marry a girl with a million. To open a jack-pot on four aces. To be out when a man with a bill calls, To have a blue-eyed girl speak to you on the street, if she is pretty. To see the new moon over your right shoulder and have fifty dollars in your pocket. DON'T SCARE WORTH A CENT. Hz Ab. Mims Grace, did you read ia the paper ot all thoee peo- with ice-cream: Sue" Oth what a delightful death! ple who w Sage: “HED WAS at college first I met him, There competing for a prize ; And he gave his deep oration, All his soul within his eyes. “Twas a masterpiece, in Latin, Full of feeling, fire and thought, Rich with wild poetic fancies Through the phrases interwrought. And his proud young face shone on me, And his clear young voice rang loud, Leaving in my ear an echo Orer the plaudits of the crowd. Thus I listened, thrilled, enraptured, Hung on ringing tone, “Till the heart within my bosom Beat for him, and him alone t On my breast I wore his colors, Love's sweet tribute to his fame ; And while thinking of him ever To my heart I called his name. And we met again—'twas summer ; Thad waited long and well, I was down beside the seashore opping at the Grand hotel. Then looked. up, pale and tr mbling : Th “he ™ stood within m all shinin, T's coat of white. y sight, Ina waiter's h And a wait ed all alune at dinner, Wrapped in serious thought was T, When a voice, so deep and te Murmured, “Peach, or lemon pi Me had hired there for the summer, And his wild, poetic Now was struggling through the mazes Of a dinner a la carte. So I turned me cold With a sad and sob After all my ¥ All T said w Lemon pie !” KITTIE HE MISUNDERSTOOD. Farmer—" And what is your brother Frank doing now ?” City visitor—“ He's paying a good deal of attention to his etching.” Farmer—‘‘Um.. What is he taking for it?” AT PEEKSKILL. Recruit—“ If the request is not out of order, sir, I wish you would assign me to duty with the Gatling gun squad.” Captain—The squad is al- ready full. Have you any special reason for the request ?” Recruit—“ Only that I think Tam qualified to make a good cannoneer, I run the coffee grinder for Shark and Bilford when I'm in the city.” Pours New youn ‘SHOR CLERK. haven't your size in ‘of two we'll send to The p post- -mark on a valentine often betrays a great deal. KILL OR CURE. Amedical consultation. “Then, doctor, you think that hydropathy”. “An excellent system, my dear sir, and always sure to give a definite result. When it doesn't cure the disease it kills the patient.” A BIT OF WISDOM. Read in an album. “Excessive bene vo lence is almost always a refined expression of ab- solute indifference; just as exaggerated politeness is often only a form of aristocratic contempt.” SPREADING IT THIN. A young woman pre- sented herself at a restau- rant and asked for the position of cook. “What can you do?” asked the proprietor. “T can make seventy sandwiches. with only a quarter of a pound of butter.” REMARKABLE EYES, An oculist’s adverti: ment: “The artificial eyes furnished by this house are noted for the gentleness of their ex- pression.” PROOF POSITIVE. At a picture deale “ Are you quitecertain that this canvas is by Teniers? C pu gual antee its genuineness 2” “Why, sir, your sus- picions insult me. Isaw him paint it.” De size ob de grave- stone doan’ tell how big de man was. “1 am sor "s shoes in the store. Ghfeago and get them Tor