Judge — August 20, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE HAD TO 00 IT. Gvest—"Glad to sew you've ot something new to amuse the children with, Mr. Makehay. Laxpionn— Oh, they're going to stay only’ till te row, Mra. Frevly, from St. Louis, is coming to night. and we've been making preparations to get her lugzaze up from the station. "HUM OF THE COURT. In Chicago they have changed the battle-ery to ‘ Let ‘er go, Me- Garigle.” Divorce is the last thing Mrs. Langtry thinks of in acquiring our matter of citizenship—and the first. The large hats now in vogueat the seaside were apparently intended to obviate the necessity of sun umbrella: There is nothing equitable in the weather excepting the young at the top of the building known by that word. An old lad has just died man »f Sullivan county who once danced with Lafayette As to the marquis, he got over it years and When the queen of the Sandwich islands got home she insisted on an investigation away to Captain Cook, and y going on. suppose it is now It is several days since Abram Hewitt has written a letter, and no- knows whether the trouble is a prevalence of cucumber or an ce of ink There are said to be no “kickers” in heaven ; and per the reason Thomas Carlyle has such an intense yearning to come back and abuse somebody. Miss C jand speaks bitterly of * the untruthful and inventive newspapers,” but she must admit that a good deal of the falsehood and vention is the very best of its kind. The Hon. William } has gone to China to mal dressed for some who has challenged a man in New Jersey, e the necessary pre rs at Sing Low. An Ohio scientist says the earth's crust is held up by natural gas, and anybody who has talked with J. Armory Knox knows toacertainty that that’s what keeps the sky in position. The Saratogian spells the Rev. Bob Collyer with onel ; but those country newspapers are so insufficient] little omission of that kind is readily excusable. They tell of a daughter of General Batcheller who, though only seventeen, speaks seven languages, Now we think, if he is wise, her husband will be a person of the same persuasion. There are several fights between newspapers in as many sections of puntry that make us think that the revolution has recommenced f course, the one that confines itself to the tempestuous but pot. The doctor said, ** Do not be alarmed, madam suffering merely from humidity * Well,” she said, ha ad something else. Your tone of confidence supplied with type that any the harmless t Your husband is ‘wish he might reassures me, but 1 never saw such a breaking out of profanity in all my born days On the whole I prefer the gov: old-fashioned measles, Then you know what you've got.” Itisalleged by a statistician that widowsare more likely todie than widowers ; but we observe that widows outlive their husbands ulmost us a hundred to one. A lady in Peloskey, Mich phosphorus on her bunion t other night, and in consequence the local fire department turned out, thinking the chimney on fire, It pains us to see in the pressof the period such slang as * You an chalk itdown that,” ete. In view of the recent rise in the price of chalk nothing could be much more vulgar. The widows of seven ministers id the same church in Des y Ia. Wedon'tknow what the ministers had been doit and then again there may | been an extended epidemic. A conte nporary speaks con temptuously of the fondness of My American women for Eng- lish ral but it must be re- membered that the English are the more experienced aud the: fore the best kind. McGarigle says he is no worse f the other officials of Cook county, II; but a multiplica neliorate the uglinessof aan most 1 of evil, for some reason or other, doesn’ the stnallest item of it. When an editor of a daily paper sticks toa mean lie that every- body knows isa lie it shows not so much superior dignity as that he knew it wasa lie when he gave it, and there is no other way out of the consequent serape. The editor of the Detroit F Press speaks of the place * where atermelons grow to the music of the blessed harps.” Well, if that man has been to heaven to find out about these things, he must have been so injured by the consequent concussion that he can't appreciate water melon or anything else of « pleasing nature. How did he get down without bre ing his back They ar rested a man in Chicago for kissing his girl Defore an open front window. Wesuppose the trouble was that he didn't put | around he: and this 1 it odd that the justice dis- charged him without a repri- mand. We suspect that Sharp's difficul- ty is a lack of recu perative power and lib- erty; though the bills of his lawyer may have sapped his vitality toa considerable extent. rob HE MEANT NO REFLECTIONS. ISHED ASSEMBLYMAN Sawpore (to frienet from his dix | fist make ‘em haowl at ther next legislatur. S ‘Come an’ see me then. Sgcine Braowx—" Much “bleeged, Cap. When will yer be © exerbishun!™ comicbooks.com