Judge — August 13, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ROOF. THE sayshorean’ the moun- y foine SLAPIN’ ON THE mn as has the boodle to chuck away may x But for thrue me home, where if the hate is tough We spind the night quite -slapin® on the roof. regardless of expin He bought thim ina hardware st Miss Reilly weighs two hundred pounds, her weight was just enough To bust th “a Whilst Biddy cr you must shtop, We've got the kids all tethered fast so that they can’t fall down, An’ thin we set an’ watch the lights a-shparklin’ on the town, We hist ti An’ thin is The chunes of dear old Oireland w > An’ brings me poor old cabin home quite plain before 1 Whin, hark! I hear 0’ close to me, An’ Biddy wipes the chune,” aughnessy a-schnorin’ ys, He'schanged poetical production has appeared in scores of our le ing journals whose editors are men of fine lit taste and acum The poem re of “ Jobbins's rie Soap.” He hand to write a weekly—not weakly, please—-poem setting forth the virtues “ Brown's Boss Bunion Balm,” which will also have an extensive newspaper circulation, at ten cents a line. Rumor says th: has accepted an order to write a society p for Mrs. Langtry, and is now reading up the fashion magazines for points Lilie Linwood is spending the summer at Scoby’s Corners, a popular rural resort, where her mother has taken a age and keeps boarders. Lilie ists her mother in her culin: duties, but now and then breaks the monotony of frying clam fritters by dash ing off a sweet little sonnet or rondeau or something for the poet's corner of the local paper. finds more profit in preparing hash for boarders than in writing poetry, but she thinks the latter is more soul-lifting. Hank erson, the brilliant American humor- ist and editor of the Wayback Bugle, has seriously sprained his intellect by writing humorous paragraphs on the mule, the goat, the mother-in-l and the railway sandwich; but he is unable to le his desk this summer owing to the inter-state commerce law depriving him of his railroad pass. He needs rest badly—and so do his subscribers—but he will have to obtain it at home. He may seek recreation in writ- ing two or three farce comedies, if his mental exhaus- tion continues to exhaust, 3. Wriass, Lilie Treerex—" Tam sorry DisovireD mprKxtax th’ gas-house beyant Oi am. PRACTICAL. “Have you read ‘The Art of Being a Grandfather ¢” asked some one of a very prac- tical person, “No, it isn’t worth while. The only art there is about being a grandfather is s6 to marry off yoursonsand daugh- ters that you won't have any poor grandchildren.” NEXT TO IT. —“Have you heard ‘Home, Sweet Home’ Bailey—‘ No, but I've heard the next thing to it.” Bagley—"* What's that ?” Bailey—" A Jersey mosqui- to's hum, sweet hum. REAL OR IDEAL? Jones the other day went to see the zoological gander Stopping before a represe tion of the ‘World Before the Deluge,” he naively asked: “Was this painting sketched from nature 7” NOVEL DESIGN FOR A LADY'S SUMMER HAT It might be called the “Poker Dot,” oF “Dicer SOMETHING NEW IN MUSIC. Of one of the last concerts of the season a newspaper man wrote gPeatest success of the evening was achieved by M. X.. the well-known tenor, who sang a morceau from the ‘Cid’ A master hand.” There is feet, but we h gentleman at the circus who shaves himself with his ve never before | 1 of one who sang with his hands. DIDN'T COUNT NOSES. Dobson gave a little spread to his friends. sit down at the table there was found to be one Hu nph med of the men; counted without his host.” When they came to “at too few. Delmon must have THEY BELIEVE SO IN PHILADELPHIA. called d process was in Bertie Pa y are picture wuse the guerreotypes ?” ited by a man named Da- Bertie. , did William Penn invent Pennsylvania ir, but no colored people are allowed on this walk.” Shure, sor, Oi kem down here to be afther gettin’ th’ color aff me. It's workin’ is