Judge — August 13, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Auge: CHOOSING A HUSBAND'S A DELICATE THING. A NAUGHTY HUSBAND. ONG have I waited, and long have I sighed, Feminine logic. F “ Lougiig' at lenktl to be somebody 6 beiae: “So you were caught in the act, madame t” remarked the judge. Many have wooed me, but no one has won, “You deceived your husband.” And faster, still faster, the fleet years run, “On the contrary, your honor, he deceived me. He said he was Ne'er can I manage to make up my mind ; going out of town, and he didn’t go.” Love cannot find me, for love is so blind. es Time almost daily new suitors will bring: Choosing a hushand’s a delicate thi THE ARMY PROVIDED FOR. Soon will be over life's season of spring ; “When I get big,” said Miss Lily, “I'm going to be a governess.” Sadly I sing--sadly I sing— “You're a little fool!” replied Miss Sally; ‘I shall be a soldier.” Choosing a husband's a delicate thing! ——— — How my brain aches in its efforts to ONLY ONE LIAR IN THE FAMILY, Major Barnes—‘* Who's the oldest inhabitant in town? Let me see—why, your father comes pretty close to it, doesn't he, captain ?” Captain Bottom—" Yes, I believe so; but, thank goodness, none of his children takes after him.” ips burn, they so often re- How my strange heart by its tension is torn, s Longing for love in its loneness for- lorn! THE PROPER PLACE FOR IT. Three new proposers are waiting my word, “You're losing your head, Josephine; a can of oil in my study 1” Three more are coming to-day, I have heard ; “ Well! but, monsicur, it does so spoil everything in my kitchen.” Which on my finger shall fasten the ring ? Choosing a husband’s a delicate thing ! Soon will be over life's season of spring ; A WELL-TRAINED MAN. Sadly T sing - sing— Choosing a husband’s a delicate thing! Pedler—*'1'd like to see the master of the house.” Mr. Poddle—** Er—come in and take a seat and I'll call my wife.” AWODA DENDRON. SUMMER PLANS OF LITERARY WORKERS. Under this title an esteemed contemporary recently printed a gossipy article concern- ing a number of prominent authors. It pained us to observe that the list very i plete. Some of our best-known writers were completely ignored, and it affords Jupor much pleasure to supply a few of the glaring omissions. Wild Bill, the scout, author of ‘The Indian Slayer; or, Killed Fourteen Times,” and other graphic and lurid tales of frontier life which appear exclusively in the Boys’ Own Paralyzer, will spend a few weeks in the country this summer. This will be the first time he has been out of the ci! f New York since his birth. He will not do much work—perhaps write several serial stories, half a dozen topical songs, the librettos of a couple of comic operas, a number of speeches on free trade, and an equal number on protection, which he will no difficulty in disposing of to members of the next congress. Mrs. Kelly, the bard of Shanty Hill, will remain at her rural retreat in the pictur- esque wilds of Pennsylvania. In the interval of her studies at the wash-tub and shooing her neighbors’ hens out of her garden, she will dash off several wild, weird poems of limping measure, perchance, but breathing «spirit of sincerity and startling vigor and fresh- ness—a little too fresh, perhaps. She contemplates writing ‘An Ode toa Man Ploughing P s before Breakfast,” and is engaged on a tragedy in blank verse which will prob- be accepted by Henry Irving. The sweet singer of Michigan will do little liter work during the heated term apart from four weekly washes and darning her children’s hose. She has but little time to wres- tle with the muse, and the muse should rejoice accord- BY THE SAD SEA.WAVES ingly. However, she will «pont beaclam, Chol y “and Victoria Geoghan dreamily tapping build a couple or more poems _ her heels on the rocky seat in her back yard duriny the * Clam 1 said Cholly; “can you compare the ferrency of my month of August in her well. Section to the principal ingredient of a chowder ¥ of Au Yaas, Cholly, becanse clams are only picked up at low tide, and known inimitable style. Her thisisonly my second season." latest poctical effusion, “On Addin thealleace you might have heard his chin drop. the Death of a Child from Chicken-pox Two Months After Birth,” has been much admired by the child’s inother, There is an indescribable pathos and tenderness in the opening lines— “Oh, ‘twas sad to see Robbie stricken with the chicken-pox, But sadder still to see him put in a little walnut box “— that almost wrings tears from eyes unused to wee % Mamie May, whose ** Heart-beats and Brain-throbs” will be remembered by all who have the book, will spend a couple of weeks in August with her aunt Jane in the country. The labor entailed in preparing her latest book of poems for the press, together with the fact that four-fifths of the edition of five hundred copies still re- main unsold, seriously shattered her health. Those who o read the volume are not feeling very well either. Mamie will do no literary work during August, aside from painting abnormally long-legged storks on plaques and knitting seventy-four yards of tatting. Hugh Conway, who died a couple of years ago, will take no vacation this sum . mer. He is too bus: It is expected that not less than seven new serial stories from PRUVIDENT. hus pen will appear in our American journals before the year closes. ; sinsyawra Wee lees DOS neko Ke coud ae nT a Fitzclarence Augustus Laclere—the pen-name of Tobias Higginbotham—will chavge them signs before der starter gita on ter der racket!” spend a few hot days at Coney Island and other near summer resorts. His latest