Judge — August 6, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A: REMINISCENCE. CARD, once white, now somewhat yellow tinted, I've found in looking through my books ; The name it bears, in dainty letters printed, Is Helen Brown, How queer it looks! nil in my moods perhaps capricious. At times thought her love was wholly mine; Again I'd note, with sad emotion, That she could worship at the shrine Of art with just as much devotion. And this I could not bear—I told her so In bitter words one sum She laughed at first, and t We quarreled, and [—I went away. Ah me! ‘Tis strange, when I care not a rap For what took place so long ay: gy scrap Of pasteboard could upset me Fo. Especially since the card she uses now, The most expensive kind in town, Has ed upon it (after all that row) My own distinguished name instead of Brown, XL svLvesrin WHERE THEY LIVED. Hotel clerk— Where do Mr. and Mrs. Suter live? He forgot to register his place of residence Proprietor— I heard his wife Ray Baby." Hotel clerk—" Ah, yes; Syracuse JUDGE'S FABLE TWO ARTISTS. she liked such plays as ‘The WO artists once met “Tt was indeed very thoughtful of Bouiface to make us acquainted with each other,” said one. “Tama por- winter, and I understand you are in the same line.” “Not exactly,” responded the see- ond, “although I have made a special study of the human countenance, and the tone and chaste outlines of my work are ad- mired by all. My coloring is highly extolled by some of the greatest connoisseurs.” “Strange Ih *Thave none.” “No studio! How ?” “Tam a barber.” n't met you before! Where is your studio 7” HE HAD TWO RIGHT ARMS. Father—* You say that Jack has a strong right arm to protect you through life?” Daughter—" Two of them, father; two.” A HEROIC REMEDY. dear sir, you have too many irons in the fire, and I notice distinct symptoms of an incipient brain trouble. You must drop your various business cares, which are so wearing and conflicting, ifine your attention to some one duty, no matter if it takes all your time.” Patient—* Think that will brace me up ¢” Doctor—*' It will most assuredly, if you adhere to it for a month or two.” Patient ~‘* Hanah! bring me my Waterbury watch. I'll wind it.” AN INNOCENT He—“ Its awful. Ie Suz—" Then why don't you eat on your back!" GOT THERE ANYHOW. “Yes,” said the sad-eyed man, as he fingered nervously with the remnants of a glass of beer left by a New Yerk drummer; “ yes, I re- member the bitter strife of ’61 as vere only yesterday.” “T suppose you had a hand in it?” asked a bystander. “Hand in it! Well, you oan just bet F did. Why, when the first call was sounded I started right off to the scene of conflict, and I walked all the way too.” “Phew! Then I guess you were in a great many battles ?” “ Well-er-you see, my friend, as I said before, I started to walk, and as I'm kind 0’ lame I didn't there until after Lee surren- dered.” AN UNAPPRECIATED INVENTION. Fixeetsteix—" Dat fly-wheel aind schmard like it looks. How in himmel vas I goin’ » profid make ven it plows all de froth off dot peer” comicbooks.com