Judge, 1887-07-02 · page 6 of 16
Judge — July 2, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short comic anecdotes satirizing American social life circa early 1900s. Key pieces: **"The Old, Old Story"** depicts a man's romantic misadventure at Coney Island (a popular beach resort). He arrives prosperous with two women, progresses to a modest dinner, ends broke catching a train alone—then returns next summer with a different woman. The satire mocks predictable male behavior and the cyclical nature of foolish romantic spending. **"Remark"** jokes about resort towns' economic exploitation, suggesting locals charge tourists inflated prices (15 dollars vs. locals' rates) while pretending to barely tolerate summer visitors. It's social commentary on commercialized hospitality. Other vignettes include jokes about: a man consoled that his blind uncle couldn't see him; a German immigrant's digestive misfortune; journalism's indifference to truth if a story is sensational; and overindulgent parenting with noisy toys. The humor targets greed, hypocrisy, immigrant stereotypes, and middle-class excess—typical Judge magazine fare mocking contemporary society's pretensions and absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
B OWN at Coney Island, feeling soul expand, With two tender maidens pluinped upon the sand, Watching in the heavens the heart. With two hungry maidens dining « le ars as the fair re- Tended by a waiter in a swallow-tail. Down at Coney Island, coming on to rain, With two shrinking maidens rushing a train, mpty wallet halting at the Having change enough just to buy one ticket Wi bh two wistful my: Mortitied and wilted, soa ng down next sum edd through speck a er with another man, REMARK ative of a summer watering-p! We always have two pric strangers, Of course, the St » for our own people, s’ price is the highest 1 stranger's horse-hire. its, stranger's fifteen, We must make hay while the sun shines. TI shines about six weeks in summer. Besides, vod deal to keep this villa Last summer we spent four dollars and a half in ng the town pump, We endure shere all winter just to keep the live for summer company. Were it not for the sake of the dear people who come here in the summer we'd move away—to the next town, Of course we should be paid for our trouble. How much for board a week ¢ Fifte aweek. We i the winter. there by the enough to bs sun here “down pple-tree, It has water n any time after a 1 use the pig-trough Mosquitoes? What are yt Never heard of them!” CONSOLING Jones is relating at the club how he has just lost an uncle. “ There omfort, howe the poor old chap couldn't see him- at do you mean ¢” “Why, he'd been blind for the last twenty years,” BADENSCHNEIDER'S DILEMMA. * Ohf you vant a ghlass obf peer you mus] go dot fam. Tyos eat a wurst in dis doorway an hour ago. HIS PROFESSION KILLED HIM. One good old soul dressed in black BADRNSCHNKIDER. fly endrance in, young feller. unt since den I vos stucgk fasdt.”* meets another good old soul at troubles: * Yes, madame, my situation is indeed a sad one—left a widow at very prime of life. indeed! And what might have been your husband's market, and is narrating her “Well, he just dried up, as a body might say, all on account of compelled him to use too much saliva.” his busin PATERNAL AUTHORITY. Fatuen—" fs Cony makin’ any,” Farman — Well, be gobbs | make some thin- don't be sthanding quietly there making me out a liar! THEY ARE FOND OF SUCH MATTER Omaha newspaper man—* Dash it all, that’s too infernally bad!” Friend—" What is? Omaha newspaper man—* That sensation T have just worked up I find there is no truth in it, and all my time is consequently wasted.” Friend—* No, it isn’t; youcansend it toany Chicage Wspaper.” VIRTUE NOT ITS OWN REWARD. A young mother visits her nursery just after there has been a gen eral distribution of present One of the olive branches is rej in a drum, another in a trumpet, and a third in a rattle, “Boum, boum, boum: ta, EU CPX NENT The poor litle woman stops her . being nearly deafened by the ra, ta, 1 bought these toys in order to have a little pe SORRY FOR THE ROWERS. Edith—" Did you enjoy the boat race ¢” Ethel - Yes; but 1 was so sorry for the poor fellows who rowed ” Edith-—" Sorry | Wh Ethel Why, they didn't have any sleeves to their rowing costumes.” GETTING THE PRICE. Bell boy (in hotel)—“Now then, if you want thing just touch this electric button.” Rural guest—* button ?” Bell boy—* Yes.” Rural guest—" How much are thes a dozen { Is that an electric TOO AFFECTIONATE. “They say the dog has " said the P. as he sudly pinned up the rent in his dif that bull-terrier had hung on to mea little longer he would have stripped me of my last rag. strong comicbooks.com