Judge — June 25, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Siape- A MODEL MODERN JURY. HREE weeks they sought in patience twelve jurymen to gain, Well qualified by ignorance and fertile lack of brain ks they challenged right and left nor found the men they sought, Devoid of mind, devoid of sense, and innocent of thought. They sought the perfect jury in which none could detect The least activity of mind or trace of intellect ; And over the empty jury-box this legend did appear, “Leave ye all intellect behind, all ye who enter here !” The first man called wasasked hisage ; he paused as if in doubt. “Be quick, speak up!” the lawyer said, “* before the century's out, How old are you? Be quick, Tsay!” “I think,” the man replied — “ Ah, that's enough,” the judge broke in ; “ you are disqualified.” ‘They called the next man to the stand ; he came up nothing loath ; They asked him if he understood the nuture of an oath. ~Lhurdly know,” the man replied ; “but yet ‘tis my idea “Ideas! ideas !" the lawyer sneered, “‘are all boycotted here !" The next was turned away because they thought they spied a trace Of half-concealed intelligence depicted in his face. So they rejected every one, refused both great and small— Some vestige of mentality disqualified them all. An idiot asylum superintendent then arose & Ww. Poms, A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, A SAD STORY IN NINE CHAPTERS. Chap. 1—A lovers’ quarrel, She uses harsh and erie! words, and leaves him under a cloud. 5—Repentance. a And he retires nnutterably miserable, | Chap. Kindly + Tl go and ask bis forgiveness.” Chap. 2—Dejection. Chap. 3—Delight. “Now if this ain't a nice quiet place Chap. 6—Repentance continued. for a feller to rest his weary bones.” —fellow *—(breaks down). “Oh, why did T treat him so un- ~ Yes, there is the—poor ALWAYS COMPLAINING. “You have no idea how much it run a saloon at a summer resort,” re bartender. tune.” “If ice is so dear,” replied an old toper, winking at those around, ‘why do you put such a big piece in every drink {” THE PRESENT CRAZE. “That was a splendid match rapturously. “What, the one between Cora and Mr. Mer ritt 7” asked her friend. “Wh; ,” returned Gussie, contempt the one at the polo grounds. to! be erst to arkeda “Why, the ice bill alone isa for sid Gussie A SURE SIGN. “We are going to have a cold wave,” said Jinks, gazing wisely up at the sky, ** How do you know ?” “ Because my vacation i Ef Judas Iscariot hed bin oble thirty o’ them big silver dollars of pay I reckon he'd a throwed up the job. Chap. 7—Contrition, “0, Charlie ! forgive *— Chap. 8—Pleasure—consternation. “Ooooch! Help! Halpr” Chap. 9-Intense excitement. Finis. comicbooks.com