Judge — May 14, 1887 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Republican pare ty lapse or ¢! perhaps Life, that is truly dis- couraging, but indicates direct- Iy or indirectly awillin:zness on the part distin g exsenator to the resump- tion. ‘This is generosity on the basis of false judgment, for the party is re- ally in a very healthy condi- tion; but it is generosity just the same and it may as well be borne in mind, ps RETROGRESSIV A WRITER SAYS Jashley has invited two friends to his private gymnasium to wit John T, Raymond was acollector of coins. That is to : ad the newspapers. Why! that fact has been printed four times in every issue of every newspaper since the day that Jolin T. swallowed his first penny and up to the day that he watched with the doctor to decide whether he should live three hours or one. BETTER GIVE IT TO THE POOR. A man with $50,000 in his belt fell Jin a western city the other day. It was not previously known that the custom was dangerous; but it is well to be safe, and we took ours off the very next day. THE DEAR DEPARTED. The late Mr. Calhoun has been so thoroughly celebrated by | ing Democrats that in due season—after he has kindly died, for at pre enthe is a thorn in the Democratic side—the Hon. Jefferson Davis may expect his monumental and eulogistic and oratorical glory. And herein is a little matter of justice of which no Republican will com- plain, though perhaps no Republican will take part in the . cises, Calhoun was a great man, and in memory of that fact it isonly t the blemishes in his career. Davis is thought by many it man, and his weaknesses were doubtless the outcome of ‘alhoun. Possibly be argued that but for the blem- ishes and the weaknesses neither would be given tie honor of com- memoration, they having made the men conspicuous above a great many better men. Well, we don't know about that. It is an intrusive and unwelcome proposition. But we must insist, anyhow, that Calhoun and Davis are as worthy of being remem- bered as Paine, Voltaire, Robespierre, aud others who are revived year after year; and what's the matter with Cyrus Field’s monument to Major Andre SALAAM, ou, Kapiolani! Here's to your dark, sensuous eyes, your languorvus beauty, your rich ebony complexion, your mellow voice with- out any newy form slightly bulging from excess of ap- Petite, vour midnight hair with the heavenly: crinkles, your expansive pet ‘ ite nose, your ears glittering wo with diomonds and your fingers sim- ber ph Rempel Mi ilarly ornamented! Fifty ean Cp al ob ghia Leen eA something or other! Fifty full, Here's to Sue—(wcith ecstasy) 0. yes | Ladmired him very much. You know we are related to him; ma was a Greeley before her marriage.” é gence. 3 vounded, buxom years!’ Fifty — Buthold! Alfred is absent, and it was mere- ly our purpose to inquire how you left Dave and what the deuce is the rea- son he didn't accompany you, Was it a family disturban ze, Ka- piolani,or didn't D: feel it quite safe to go out into the world without viously pay- debts ? WHITE Mr. Gladstone's conversation with Buffalo E MUSCULARITY, ess the progress he has mad Mr. Gladstone with an insinu: “Umph!” replied Mr. Whi bait.” “Yes,” said Mr. Giadstone, ‘that is my opinion. The question seemis to relate, however, to the best disposition to be made of it But we will not discuss that. What do you think of the proposed canal Jimus of Panama?” Bird, smiling in return, ‘Heap remarked Mr. White Bird, taking off a moccasin to serateh his heel; ‘‘heap hole.” “1 think so myself,” s at Mr. White Bird's exposed stocl have hard work to pull themsel you read Mr. Howells’s last nov Mr. White Bird paused, while his face-suddenly assumed a look of mingled intelligence, annoyance, and expectation.“ Heap dam!" fe exclaimed, simultancously taking off his hat and scratching his head. “A remarkably ute observer,” 1 Mr. Gladstone aside to a friend. ** His brev’ the very soul of criticism. I couldn't have said as much in four umns of the Times. And which, my friend he continued, addressing Mr. White Bird with a look of appreciation that wa tly complimentary—* which of the institutionsof America most please you?” “Heap rum, heap tobacco, heap know-nothing!” said Mr. White Bird, extending his hand. “Tdo not understand the last part of that observation,” said Mr. Glad- stone, half to himself, shaking the hand cordi nevertheless. “It seems to express antipathy to foreign- ers. But his appreciation of the com- mercial situation is evidently large, rum and tobacco in their various shapes being necessary helps to all manner of civilization.” Then he said tly to Mr. White Bird, Do you ¢ in free trade, sir?” imed th: gentleman, turning with an ex- pression of di “He has his broadly developed,” ren Gladstone, with a sigh of disappointment; ‘and, may criticise him for his savag: ness, he is a person of rare intelli ‘SICAL. re pleasure it Is to meet one who under- ‘ou know Horace spraks™ comicbooks.com