Judge — April 9, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Anant Fanny R, Mant Reasnarp Grito 1M. Gaeoory PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President ~ z Vice: President rt Department Paitor TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: UNITED STATES AND CANADA. Lfor 18 weeks, Single cop THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, POTTER BUILDING, Park Row, New York, Bex BUTLER IS NO CHICKE He cannot even chip his shell “ WiG an exe’ INS ON THE MOON” is a heading in ange. That's the best news yet AT LAST accounts Uncle Edmunds weeping bitterly because he hadn't any bonnet was ter | Last worps of Winuiam R. TRAVERS— | 'T-t-this is tthe blast. [ve I-lost’ m-my ssstuttera WE Look UPON IRA SHarer as the only legit- imate rival of John L, Sullivan; for is not the mouth mightier than the pen ? Wuitetaw Ret Herald, “w moustach onding to the Rochester rs a spirited and indomitable >t Who's is it? WE JUDGE FROM the new license bill that | while intemperance is horrible hereabouts it is quite the caper in the inland cities. WE ARE PLEASED to observe that the new south is booming: but how account for the | failure to pay those old southern bonds ? | THE MASTER WORKMAN who orders strikers hack to work does well: but if he will order | their old employers to re-employ then: he will do better, We BEG TO Say t C. M. Depew was once was promptly follow number of religions t at, while it is true that} Democrat, that period | 1 by the writing of al acts, XISTENCE of the Evening Sun is pretty | Jence that Amos Jim Cummings has reformed; and besides there hasn't been a great express robbery in some day Frienps oF Riper Haaoarp having denied the plagiarism attributed to that gentleman, responsibility rests on the several per- sons who wrote his matter first. THE STATEMENT THAT our lady commission- ers of schools smoke only good cigars having been denied, we feel oblized to correct by say: ing that they smoke only bad ones. Mrs. La: orev okye it annoys her exceed- ingly to have her name constantly associated with that of some other ma a little hint for Mr. Langtry that he will do well to heed. “ FELLOW SLAVES.” began an orator at a labor meeting in Buffalo; and the queer thing about it is that not one of the gentlemen so illed arose and knocked the orator down. Tue BUFFALO EDITORS declare as with one voice that Ananias, jr, lives in that cit The other name of the distinguished gentlem: is not given, but we suspect Dan Lockwood. Ex-Senator MILLER Says with the utmost positiveness that he is not andidate for gov- ernor. We don’t know when we have stum- bled on anything that so agitated our tender corns. WE SUPPOSE MIND-RE .DERS exercise them selves to some extent upon their own minds, and that may account for the sudden and re- markably happy silence of Washington Irving Bishop. THE Question “* Why doe devil 2” was promptly ylady. Wh all. We must} you know.” n't God kill the nswered by an English "she said, “it wouldn't ave the Pall Mall Gazette, THERE WOULD BE more country, but the truth is th calls himself that na Democrats in this it whenever a man ep he feels as if he had z \ ‘A QUE GUARD. * Melfcan boy cantee pully my piggee tally enly mlore."* been stabbed in the back by one of the princi. | ples he is so ashamed of. “ Doc” WILSON AS WELL as Sullivan iy wving written a book, the art of swindling has been as largely celebrated as the art of punching And why shall we not have books from Shceny Dick and Ferdinand Ward ? ‘ MER MAJESTY There are rumors that the queen is insane, Recently a circus performance was given fo her sole benefit, whicl recalls the Ludwig of Bavaria; and she not only o! the ladies who attend her receptions to shouldered, but she pro! iges y bane show insanity; but if it presently transpires that the prince of Wales is unable to honor his promises to pay that will be something worth talking about A WIFE OUGHT, according to the Contempo- rary Review, to know the real financial stand- ingof herhusband. Not invariably, we think. Poor child ! she has as much as she can do to take care of her own troubles. A WOMAN 3 thing more dread- ful than ** Darn;” and if caught at it she is | diplomatic h to remark with a sweet smile that it is an inadvertent direction with reference to the heel of her sister's stocking. THE GREAT PENNSYLVANIA MUGWENP. In reapportioning the congressional districts jof Pennsylvania that which belongs to S. J. | Randall is kept intact. There was a proposi- tion to destroy it, but it was felt that asa polit ical curiosity it too sacred to be disturbed. re 1s to be second NOV lively canvass in y third or fourth inug- |wump candidate—for of course Ben Butler | will run again—Samuel would be by all odds | the best man the Sun could select, and without his congressional office he would lose his entire prestige. THe EDITOR OF a popular publication had his heart broken recently. Some writer to whom he had sent a blank form of rejection in cou | pany with a manuscript returned it with the expressive remark * Chestnut.” He has not spoken since, “D. B. HILL Lies AWAKE NIGHTS,” says the Mohawk Valley Register, ‘to concoct means to make mischief for the Republicans.” 0 he doesn’t have to lie awake to do that. Itis easy enough for David to make mischief when he is sourd asleep. WHAT'S BECOME OP SHAFER? It isa melancholy fact that when a lawyer is seriously provoked he is just as upt to threaten murde: inybody else. That is to say, he confesses that his profession is inade- quate in certain cases of real or invagined wrong, at the same time that he condemns other man who takes that view of his personal situation. We must be consi gentlemen. We must try and_ throv | bricks and use our knives surreptitious!y, like |the cowards whose money gives us wealth, and never threaten them in advance. Now there is Ira Shafer—h’m! there twas Ira Shafer. our CarTER Harrison says he declined to run because the president was opposed to his can didacy; and the JupGE hears dark rumors with comicbooks.com