Judge, 1887-03-05 · page 12 of 16
Judge — March 5, 1887 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising page** from Judge magazine, not a political cartoon. The page consists almost entirely of commercial advertisements for products like Sohmer pianos, Marvin safes, Perry Davis' Pain Killer, Allcock's porous plasters, and various other 19th-century remedies and goods. The only satirical content is **"Carl Pretzel's Philosophy"**—a recurring humor column featuring broken-English aphorisms from a German-American character. These short, folksy observations mock pretentious self-help wisdom (e.g., "buying a pint of common sense is worth more than a barrel of rum"). The page also includes brief, generic jokes at the bottom about philosophy and horse-trading that reflect period attitudes but carry no specific political meaning. **Context for modern readers**: This reflects how Judge financed itself—satirical content subsidized by advertisements. The ethnic dialect humor in "Carl Pretzel" was typical period comedy, though offensive by today's standards.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
—_———— [Eeer- Termes on Tonet Soaps: “You have demonstrated that a fer/éctly pur soap mma: ide. 1, therefore, Cordially co moked ladies and 16 the community ia gene the employment of your pure* La Belle tc soap over any adulterated article.” CARL PRETZEL'S PHILOSOPHY. THE CELEBRATED HSIAWOS ARE AT PRESENT THE MOST POPULAR AND PREFERRED by LEADING ARTISTS Oolster ofercoats cofer more sins ub asa neck- ie. Pulitickle pishness gif you some ackwaindences mit men, bot you dink ids besser to pooty gwick forget vhen der ecklection vas ofer. Yoos let der bresbiration on your face been der vasser to mix your dough mit. Der paim tree couldn't grow it vas heafy mit its pranches. ter of a man, Pooky vell, oxcept ‘oost der” gharac- WAREROOMS ; 149 151, 153 155 EAST 14TH STREET N.Y. SOHMER he co... RVIN FIRE &BURGLAR SAFES TRE MT EN EO OVEMENTS NoT FOUND IN TT WAKES THAT Wi WELL REPAY AN INVESTIGATION BY THOSE Ge TO SECURE THE BEST SAFE MARVIN SAFE CO. NEW YORK, PHILADELPHIA, LONDON. ENCLAND. AMUSEMENTS, Hannigan. PARK EDWARD HARRIGAN TH Mr. DAVE BRAHAM and b evening at Weelnestay and 8% : OCKSTADERS * Sole remarkable play, ENMA. ACK’S, BROADWAY AND 90TH ST. Prop. and Man'r Mr, LESTER WALLA Harbor Lights. TAS mw EARL & WILSON'S LINEN ', COLLARS & CUFFS ** | BEST IN THE WORLD THE CHEAPEST -AND BEST. Pane Enenavins € 67 Park Place - R’S HAIR BALSAM the popular favorite for dreming the hair, Restoring Proprietor. | Manager Every Buy a pint of demplerenz. asa barrel of rums. Dhere vas someting good in store for all peoples, und ofer you got gelt you can buy dot. A.x eyed frow vas der medium dot fills der grafe yards ub. It is more worth There seems to be so much difficulty about securing fortifications for our | compromise matters by having twent and let it go at that!—Boxton Transcript. in cases of iphtheria Is made from the choicest quality of stock, and contains a LARGE PeRceNTaGeE of GLYCERINE; therefore it is specially adapted for Toilet, Bath and Infants. elay dngerous Perry Davis’ AINANILLER will quickly cure Diphtheria, Quinsy, Coughs, Colds, + ae Throat Drussit 5 sell it: ELY's CaTARRH { | NOT A LIQUID or SNUFF. A Quick Relief and Positive Cure. A particle ts ied nto each nostril and is agreeable, Price Weents at Druy ait regintered.abe mais iste; by mall, registered.adeta, Circulars free. ELY BROTHERS. Druggtsta, Owego, N. Y. unt nt 0 Ni the recognized standard, is a wel known, thoroughly tested and suc cessful remedy, which has been in |daily use for over thirty years. Be- ware of imitations. Ask for ALLCOCK’S, and let no ex- | planation or solicitation induce you to accept a substitute. WESTERN PH PHILOSPHY. When Iwas a youngster I never cried "Cause my bread fell down on the buttered side; And when I grew up and took a bride. And found wyself to a Xantippe tied, With a mother-in-law who was cross-eved., I grinned and bore it, and fate defied. When things go wrong I let ‘em slic Life is short, and the world is w Tho’ I want the earth, and I'd lik I take the gifts that the gods pro’ —T fried, as Siftings. ked “1 supe Oe “Ido not desire Ith for it re the philospher. ‘No, ” replied vni pose you desire it for yourself.”"—Pittsby patch. It is always safer to deal with horses than women, if information about their ages is requir ed. The horse never wears store teeth —Fill River Advance, A professor in the Maine state college has re signed to take a positinn with aheeling machine company. Isthere more money in heels than in heads? —Lewistown Journal. “This is one of the silent watches of the night,” remarked Fanglc, as he looked at his tize-piece on arising this morning and found it had stopped at 11 p, m.—Pittsburg Chronicle. Aman will not submit to be called eithera puppy, a hound or a cur, but if he is pronounced asad dog he accepts the stigma as if it were compliment.—San Francisco Examiner. comicbooks.com