Judge — February 19, 1887 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Siape: OVERHEARD. Mrs. DeLUYTER (just as Mr. De Luyter enters the box quietly)—“ It is that Major Sauterne, Bessie, who used to be so attentive to me. I hope poor old hubby won't see him, It always makes him apoplectic, and he hasn't renewed that life policy yet.” situation. The army robs bim of his best boy and the ta is best money. Now arming as a means to peace, taking from the similar action advised by nd out of these prudential mea- presently come a war which ly good except as it improves on ian-French struggle in point of | But the German and French tax- bayer may still come here, where it is a cardi- | nal principle that the most effective army the army that exists only in small number or does not exist at all. sta the last ¢ brevit, | THE STATEMENT THAT Mr. Garland’s parlor is fitted up with a cheap table and three old chairs isa gross libel. There are only two old chairs, and the table is a Jeffersonian flour- barrel that needs dustin, USE THE SURPL ngrvss, in acting for a proper defense of ast and making preparation for possible War, is acting according to the best wishes of the count We need coast defences, we need anew navy, and we need such action in gen- eral as will protect the flag against the insults towhich it has been repeatedly subjected under this administration. There is a sufficiency of funds, and it is rapidly growing. Use it! use it! Safety, economy, self-respect, everything Worth having demands it. . Ce the BE NOT TOO HARSH. Is it not wicked in the Albany Argus to Speak of Henry Watterson as ‘‘an asinine moon-brayer,” merely because Henry opposes ) theCleveland administration? Mr. Watterson has directed a few inquiries to the moon, it is true; but to respond merely by tendering a slice of mugwump cheese is an insult which ought to make the Argus bray too, much as it | flops its ears in apparent objection to those Democratic vocal exercises. STRIKES ORCE IDLENESS, and idleness creates high prices and viciousness; but there is this relieving feature of the existing situa- tion—the public has the more leisure to work out the JupGE’s problem in behalf of the Grant monument fund. BE KIND TO In the menagerie of the nations the best- natured of the animals is the lumbering, awk- | ward elephant temporarily representing Uncle Sam; but he is occasionally ill-tempered under abuse, and when he gets real mad all over there is unavoidably a great deal of trouble. As the poet sweetly remarks: “The elephant now goes round and round, The band begins to play ; The little Canuck that comes too near Had better go away.” THE GRAVE RESPONSIBILITY. When George W. Cleveland is asked on reckoning day, ‘‘Who cut down the Demo- cratic cherry-tree ” he ‘ill doubtless respond, “T cannot tell a lie—it must have been Augus- tus Garland.” But the ancient and more or less honorable Democracy are not easily de- “Cle ceived, and investigation will show that the weapon used for the destruction is in Mr. and’s hind coat-pocket; though we dare say the gentleman will remark further, and with a lofty assumption of innocence, “ Indeed I cannot tell a lie—it was put there by Carl Schurz and Henry Beecher.” And really, it doubtless was, HIS RIGOROL DISCIPLINE. Mr. Washington wasa very method It was the habit at his period to have only four suspender-buttons, and frequently two sufliced ; al man. but he instituted the custom of hi: and it was finally adopted by the entire coun- try. Itmay be asked by the curious lady of to-day where they were located; but it 1s suffi- cient to the purpose of this article to say that Martha Washington knew. Once there was a suspender-button gone. ‘If that button isn't in place in five minutes,” said Mr, Washington sternly, ‘I'll have you court-martialed and hanged at sunset.” And in less than that time the button was the HE NEVER MUGWUMPED, One day George was at his plough, like Cin- cinnatus, having obstinately refused a third term. He was told that the congress had passed a civil-service enactment providing that the British should be invited back to hold the offices. ‘‘ What!” said George, fter we licked ‘em ?” It was urged that they had had experience and that was the approved British system. It was a viciously raw day and George was rapidly taking cold. He remarked lacon- ically to his oxen, ‘‘ Go to the end of the fur. ing six,