Judge, 1887-01-29 · page 6 of 16
Judge — January 29, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge (likely 1880s-90s) contains three unrelated satirical pieces: **"A Maiden Fair"**: A sentimental poem with accompanying sketch mocking romantic verse popular in the era. **"A Deadly Insult"**: A brief joke where being called an "alderman" is treated as such an grave insult it warrants a duel—satirizing both the absurdity of dueling culture and the low social standing of aldermen (local politicians). **"He Prided Himself on His After-Dinner Speaking"**: The bottom cartoon shows Mr. Van Snoopy interrupted mid-speech. His relief at learning the visitor is "Mr. Brown" rather than "Chauncey Depew" satirizes Depew, likely a contemporary politician or public figure known for tedious oratory. The joke: being interrupted by a stranger beats enduring Depew's notorious speeches. The page also contains dialect-heavy vignettes about rural/working-class characters, typical of Judge's broad comedy spanning refined satire to broad ethnic humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
whiape: A MAIDEN FAIR. fe cheeks like the fairest rose ; ‘A DEADLY INSULT, In sweet, melodious trebles fae Her voice runs like the stream that flows Brown — “I've challenge So blithely o'er the pebbles. Green to fight a duel.” Her eyes—unfathomed depths of blue— White—"That so? What, Flash forth as clean and bright the trouble ¢” Asall the silvery starlings do Brown—"T1 can't overlook Which stud the sky at night. the insult he offered me th other day.” White—“ What did he dor Brown—“He called me a alderman.” HENRY TALOOTT MILLS, Her flowing tresses, uncontroled, Fall o'er her shoulders’ whiteness, Tt seems as if a mass of gold Hung loose in all its brightness. Her two lips form a rosy gate, From out of which there comes . isa giana a. Sometimes the tune of some sweet song, Mr. Green—** How aye do, Which she so softly hums. Mr. Countrybred? : att Mr, Countrybred—* Poor, That I can't win her heart and hand Cidoctorin!, Chet we:heae ao much aber! a Melee the papers. You've heerd of it, hain't yer" But to the man who wins her heart — Mr. Green— “I dunno, , Lang Ler beat bo cates Mr. Countrybred—"* Lessee, what is it they Though he will very cruelly part call it? Ob, th ge treatment.” Me and my little daughter ! IT WAS REMOVED FOR CAUSE. “Dan'l, I've a tooth which troubles me af ‘em say, Miss Metie, you gwi “Kee -ee-ee! Idon’ know ‘bout dat. You badly.” T hear 'em sayy Miss Metie, you gwine (© | has ter ax mammy.” “You have my heartfelt sympathy, sire” Dena ay art “ An" how if she say yes 1” “What cun I do for it, Dan'l ?” “ George Cowherd tole me.” “Well, den, Mr. Meachem. I mean yes, sho! “Well, sire, being guilty of pernicious se “George Cowherd's mouth ain’t no praar- | MOUgh.” . tivity, I should say it ought to be removed.” book Who's I gwine to marry 1° Well den—keo-eo-ee! “You are right, Dan'l. As I have befor eT Tie aay ole tran Harry Porxina.” There will shortly be a wedding in the high- | said, that is just cause for removal. Send fer “Harty Perkins! Huinph! Twouldn’ hab | ¢ colored cirele on Manson's Branch. No_ the dentist.” dat ole nigger fer soap-greas cards. ““Ef ‘twas me now would you have me fer —_—__— | COMING TO THE POINT. “Lemme tote it den.” Even President Cleveland could learn hy mility from the tramp, for after he has bees wood-cutter 7” There is not much in this world that a man once convicted he has no ambition for “ Daddy cuts de wood.” can get for nothing. HE PRIDED HIMSELF ON HIS AFTER-DINNER SPEAKING. a second Mr. Van Suoppy (interrupted in the middle of an after-dinner speech)—“‘ A visitor? Who is it?—not”— Taomas—* Mr. Brown, sir.” Mu. Van Suoppy—" Ah! (with a sigh of relief) I was so afraid it was Chauncey Depew.”