Judge — January 29, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W, J. Ament Hangy R. Hart PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President ~ Vice-President Art Department Faitor - + TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA. 18 ADVASC. ‘One copy, one year, or 2 numbers, One copy, atx m or % numbers, One copy, for 18 " Single cop THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, POTTER BUILDING, Park Row, New York, Mr. TILDEN LEFT five shoes. Obviously one of the old gentleman’s heirs has a cork le WHEN IT WAS ASKED in Connecticut who was the best man for senator the response was, “Joseph R.” We think he are too. THER! » pouBT that Ira Daven- port will marry, and this is why we sing with respect to a probably early spring. Mr. Frank Jones Has started a collection agency with headquarters in St. Louis. It had been hoped that Mr. Jones had reformed. CERTAIN LEGAL PROCEEDINGS make it ad- visable to remark that the woman who voted is now the woman who is very sorry for it SUBLE in Europe is ns are satisfied with the good, ned rheumatism and no flummeries. gout. SPEAKING OF PREDICTIONS, it will be remem. bered that the JupGE placed Charles B. Far- well in the Illinois senatorship as early as 1792. Ir Dr. McGLYNN WILL step outside of the chureh and look around a little he will find that the room devoted solely to polities is quite large. Miss Nina Vay NDT SAYS she would, if she could, go to the scaffold with Anarchist and if she should we are sure the gentle- man would enjoy it better. STATE, ATOR REILLY WANTS to make ever: Saturday a legal holiday. | Then there are the six other days of the week—how would it do to make them legal holidays too ¢ ALFRED TENNYSON SPEAKS contemptuous\y of “the suffrage of the plow.” Perhaps, after all, the worst evidence of retrogression lies in the “Locksley Hall” which gets so sick about it. ‘* SOCIETY HAS NOT DROPPED Lady Campbell,” says contemporary. Well, if that’s the Lady Campbell had better drop society. She can’t afford to be connected with such rotten- ness as that. THERE WAS NEVEK but one Democrat who had the strength of his convictions. He was 1 ‘i - naturally delicate, and it knocked him out and sent him to his grave assoon as it had achieved its maturest infan AS BETWEEN RHEUMATISM and Bright's dis- ease, which are carrying off so many, would it not be better to have a reform compromise in behalf of the good old English affliction briefly mentioned as gout ? Mrs. Cleveland is the never born. This is un- avoidably a reflection on all the other women, and there is only one man in the world who hasn't a perfect right to punch Joaquin’s head. Mr. E. PRENTISS BamLey of the Utica ys had an excellent reputa- tion ; yet we observe that somebody has stolen the crape announcement of a funeral from the | door of a lowly house in a neizhboring coun ONE OF THE L UTTERANCES of a distin- guished man was ‘‘ Blank the doctors !" | They had previously exercised their denunciation upon him, however, and first come first served is understood to be one of the first principles over there, | Merpi S said as they adjusted | | the noose about his neck that he went off bear- ing no man the slightest ill-will. |to announce this, It was generous in Mr. |Cluverius, and it will relieve a great deal of public anxiety By THE way, we trust that Professor Join L. Sullivan will bear in mind the fact that the JuDGE has give him its ardent support | throughout the whole course of his professional existence. We now the professor is to write a delightful book. NDIGHAM, son of the late formally leaves the Democratic he says because the party wanted him | | to st If he tells the truth the party cer-| tainly was unreasonable. It ought to have been satisfied with the usual little lying. Youxo Mr. Clement L | part | WOULD have been as great | enator as the great senators of the past, according to the Saratoga Journal, if he had had the requisite opportunities. Mr. Miller has done well—the JUDGE has no disposition tocry him dowa; but did it ever occur tothe Journal | that great senators are apt to create their oppor- tunities ? Tue Democratic AFFECTION for Roscoe Conkling is so great that we expect to see him carry off the Democratic presidential nomina- tion in 1888. We can not forget the expression of Josiah Homespun, a Jeffersonian of long standing, the other day, ‘* He's adarned sight | better Democrat than Grover Cleveland,” said |Josiah. It was said in a grocery gathering in a village in Onondaga county ; and immedi- ately every Democrat present spit on the stove and cheered vociferous! SAD, BUT BEAUTIFUL. France and Germany are eager for war. To the humanitarian war means in this case the loss ofa great many thousands of lives. It issurely worth thinking of. How many graves it means; how many broken hearts and families ; what | dishonor and humiliation through want that is not deserved! And yet what a sweet, pretty, equally-balanced fight it would be. France has lived in expection of it ever since the sur- render of Napoleon ; and Germany has not seen the day since then when she has not felt it perative to protect herself regurdless of ex- pense against the French hatred and desire for revenge that grew asthe empire went down and has grown still more rapidly under the republic It is sad to think of the violent deaths that would occur, but there will be fewer the sooner the inevitable struggle begins ; and what a sweet, pretty, uncertain, betting fight it would be ! A GOOD BEGINNING. Dodge and Agnew, the new school com: sioners, wear low bonnets when on official duty. At the first meeting of the board they looked critically at the room in which the same was held and promptly drew up two resolutions of a half-column each, one calling for a new broom and the other for an economical look. ing-glass with which to inspect the back hair President Simmons felt thoughtfully of the pimple on his nose and then ordered the resolu tions read, and they were passed unanimously, DAVID DREAMS. The visions of David B. Hill just about this time are very pleasing ; but he had better not put too much faith in the promises of those Mephistophelean journalists who pretend Dem- ocracy the better to help the opposition, « other words act large evil that good may come of it. For behold you, David ! it is not that they love you more, but that they distrust you less than the other gentleman ; and of all the mugwumps that everlived they are the mug. wumpest and the most uncertain SOME ATTRACTION The journalistic bill-stickers of this town placard great attractions. Messrs, Schurz und Beecher are admirably constructed for the song-and-dance business, and the mugwump ballet is warranted decorous if it doesn't skip worth a cent. But when they put up Ben But ler as a retired statesman they make a mistake. B. B. makes no farewell tours, real or assumed; and when he retires it will be because he is too far gone to lift an eyebrow, which is by no means the case now. Always put faith in Uncle Ben and the unexpected, and you'll never appointed. THAT PERSONAL PRONOUN. Governor Hill takes pains to omit the per sonal pronoun I, remarking “It is thought instead of “I think,” “It is considered” instead of “I consider,” &e. Apparently he has read the cheap criticisms against the presidents and governors who have used the pronoun frequently and so beyond question have used it unconsciously, and thinks he has profited from them. But he hasn't. The omission is studied and is therefore greater evidence of egotism than anything that Andy Johnson or Grover Cleveland ever wrote. Itis a carefully planned and considered article of exhibition, Governor, and therefore it is ego- tisin and is half as mean as this criticism is. TURN THE BARNACLES OUT! Henry Watterson declares that Secretary Endicott has the same papers on his list for doing official advertising that were on when the Republicans were in power ; that he is surrounded by Republican officials whe it their duty to shut Democrats out of the pres ence, and that he is so little acquainted with leading Democrats that they are invariably refused an audience. If thatis the case Mr. Wat- terson’s denunciation of the secretary is just. The secretary is not merely a mugwump—he must be the better gentleman who calls hims a Republican. But if that is the case why doesn't he resign? With all respect for the thing