Judge — January 8, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. ee WS Amc = = Maney R Har Beasvano OtLLaM ROORY - LM. Prxpenice W, Nosreaxp TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA. ve copy, one year, or 2 numbers, One copy, ste mont, oF 8 numbers preparer Singie cop THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, LD Park Row, ETO MouRN for Logan ? Every man in the United States, regardless of party lines. WE MUST HAVE more statesmen; and to reach that result we must have less rheuma- tism. hat Henry W. Grady The gentleman seems to OT QUITE TR oming man, arrived. Ir 171s Not the main purpose of the National opera company to quarrel, suppose they give us a little music. Fatty WALSH HaviNa been provided for, why not give the indicted aldermen a few foreign missions. THE Kat times This is p CAUSES it to beannounced several that he is in the best of health. tty fair evidence that he isn't. THE YEAR OPENS BRIGHTLY for Mr. Fatty Walsh; and our frequent remark that he was fitted for the Tombs will now be appreciated. Pastors GoopELL, Downs, Messaros and Staunton are such fine preachers that it isearn- estly to be hoped they may some day be con- verted. OPINtoy 18 DIVIDED with regard to Tennyson's new “Locksley Hall.” That is to say, some think it wretchedly bad and others only half bad. NorHING Is Lost BY Randolph Churchill's retirement to private life; but if his wife might take the place he recently vacated something would be gained. Anna DICKINSON WILL go back to the lec- ture platform. That being the case, all will be forgiven, it being stipulated, of course, that she shall stick t “T pon’T KNow How rich he is, but he has kept a drug-store in a prohibition state for six months.” So said a man of another who wanted to buy the earth. ** That's enough,” said the all the local billiard-players. Sage: owner of the earth. ‘Let him have it. But 1| goose-flesh.” By Jove, sir! they are. That's don’t see why a man of his wealth wants to) the way they were born. bother with a little thing like that.” = , cae It 18 MATTER FOR profound astonishment ‘THE SOCIALISTS ARE said to be hard at work |that Blaine should be disabled by rheum patting the labor party on the back. If the| One rather expects it in the case of Cleveland, latter kuows when it is well off it will pat| Who is “built that way ;” but James G. is so those fellows on the nose. thoroughly alive that the affliction must have _ |called upon him by mistake. However, there Cousin BEN BEGINS as well at Sheffield asthe is no question as to which will whip. Mr. youth who in his first day at school léarned | Blaine will make his rheumatism very sick. h f all the little girls, He has beate: agree the names of all the little girls. He has beaten | THE NEW SIMPLICITY. ee | Receptions and dinners are to occur nearly ‘THERE 18 4 QUESTION as to whether a clergy-| every other day at the white house from Janu- man has a right to drive a fast horse. Another] ary 5 to February 22. Mrs. Cl question—Must the clergyman who has a fast only young but ardent, and tl horse hamstring him to make him go slow ¢ land is not is the very | best kind of electioneering; but if te presi- MANY WISE MEN are trying to find out the | dent perishes of it he can’t have a second term, easiest method of taking a murderer's life, |¥°" know: - = ALL PEACEFUL AND SERENE. Would it not be more humane to instruct the murderer as to the easiest method of taking the Itis plain now that Mr. Blaine didn’t take Mr. Edmunds’s hand because he couldn't. He life of his victim ? |didn’t wear a tight-sleeved dress, but he was fore-shortened by rheumatism. And thus the jast unpleasantness is smoothed out, and the amenities appropriate to the Christmas holi- days will be continued all round the year. STANLEY AND THE BELGIAN. William F. G. Shanks says Stanley is a failure as a lecturer, and that the story of his being ordered back by the king of the Belgians was a pure invention. That is doubtless the Se truth, and it shows that Stanley has not lived ‘THE PRESIDENT HAS chilled and disturbed the|in vain. For instance, he failed on the plat- civil-service reformers, says Harper's Weekly ;|form fourteen years ago, and at that time he whereupon the Buffalo Express hopes the|didn't know enough to let himself down mugwumps will be ‘completely covered with /easily by lying about it. But the publie will WHEN THE CZAR DRINKS he expects all bi: ministers to get intoxicated, and to fail is ev dence of disloyalty which is punishable death. As between the two evils there much incoherence; THE BOOM OF SPEAKER CARLISLE continues to boom. Mrs. Carlisle has a parrot that “hurrahs for Carlisle and calls for cocktails.” Indeed, one may almost say that the hour and the man, or perhaps the man and the cocktail, have met. HE THOUGHT HE COULD FILL THE SITUATION. (The proprietor has advertised for a travelling salesman.) ProprieToR—‘‘ What have you to offer as recommendations, pray ?” AppLicant—‘ Been a tramp for five years; hev rode onct.”