Judge — December 25, 1886 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ANACREONTIC. Fill high the bowl! Farewell to sorrow ! Farewell to every carking care! The heart that dreads the coming morrow Hath made its sorrows double here ! Let every cup be overladen Vith rosy grapes’ most fragrant dew; We'll pledge a toast to every maiden, To every maiden, false or true. Aye, pledge the maids who loved us kindly, Nor scorn the nymphs who spurned our flame, Nor chide ourselves for loving blindly, Since constancy is but a name. So we will drink and sing in chorus To those who never gave us pain— Those kindred souls who went before us— ‘And, drinking, have them back again! Then, whilst their spirits hover round us, We'll live our happier moments o'er, And bless the vines that now surround With all those joys that are no more JAMES JAY 0'CO: us ! VERY PLAUSIBLE, “* Does Santa Claus have to throw away all the dolls that get covered with soot as he comes down the ney?” asked a little girl of her older brother, “Why, no, you stupid little thing !" was the reply. ‘Don't you know those are for the col- ored childre: | ‘A LEFT-HANDED REEUSAL. “What is the matter, old chap- pie?” said De Smythe.“ You look | pretty blue around the gills.” “No wonder,” replied De Jones rather grumly. ‘I called on Con- stance last night, and when she learned who was there she sent the girl in to remove the mistletoe before she presented herself.” COULDN'T GET OVER THAT. How do you know that this new friend of yoursis such an exemplary young man?” asked an anxious father of his only son. “Because he is courting Miss Prude, the minister's daughter, who has the reputation of being the best girl in town.” * And how does that make him out to be trustworthy?” dubiously | asked the father. | “Why,” replied the son, ‘didn't you say you could always tell a OROPPING A HINT. “Are you going to have the chimney aned ¢” usked a little tot of her mother. “Why, no, my dear: whatever put such a thought as that in your head ?” “Nothing, ma,” was the reply I thought that Santa Claus might dirty my new doll when he brough to-night.” THE REASON WHY. “+L have often wondered,” casually remarked Mrs. Pentweasel, “ what it can be that makes the children always dream of Santa Claus about this time of the year. Do you know, love?” Yes,” snapped out old Pentweasel, as he thought of all the stockings he had to fill; “it’s them mince pies.” WOULDN'T HOLD MUCH, “What are you going to give papa?” asked Mrs. Brown. said little John onically. What a chided his mother, o, Lain't, pleaded course he does, ejaculated Mrs. Brown, “What put such an idea in your di?’ “Why. - turned little Johnny, “T heard him tell Mr. Merritt he was just going to hang up his watch.” The gets fewpresents. miser Act 1—[He]—“‘ Ah, there !” | man by the comp ENFANT TERRIBLE. “Can you tell me, Mr. Merritt,” asked Cora, ‘what makes all the gentlemen seem se happy about this season of the year? “ Because,” interjected little Johnny, to the utter consternation of the lovers, ‘tit is the only time a girl will let any one see what she has in her stocking. MRS, PUGWASH ON CHRISTMAS. There is no sawdust in the Christmas stock- ing. Santa Claus never comes near the child who tries to pike him off. There is no trouble in getting your boy out of bed on Christmas morning. There is no foot in the miser’s stocking. Santa Claus makes no mistakes in his dis- tribution of presents. These are the days that try men’s gout. A SOCIETY DRAMA IN“TWO ACTS. Act 2—[She]—“ Stay there!” ny he keeps ?” The greedy boy often finds very little in his | stock You will never see Santa Claus by looking up the chimney. Christmas is a great day for eating; New Year's for drinking. The homely girls keep near the mistletoe. The dude's stocking doesn’t hold much. Much of the romance is taken out of life the moment we learn to doubt the existence of Santa Claus. Christmas eve is the proverbial rainy day for those who have been saving up. There is considerable personal magnetism in the mistletoe. A Christmas tree is like a woman; it costs a good deal to fix it up. This is the time that the tangle-headed poet looks up in the sky and discovers the star of Bethlehem. Instead of be- ing thankful, many of us are glad the old year is drawing toa close. Christmas is for the young. The man who tries tohang up his stocking will get very little. Santa Claus is good; but he won't put anew head in the de- structive boy drum. “Man wants but tittle here below.” It is different — with the small boy. Theox, which preserved Christ's life, i now roasted and served up in honor of the occasion.