Judge — December 25, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

7 Aidge- cal of tic Those Xmas bells with ringing chimes— Those carols, sung long years ago— Ate echoes of the by gone times When folks were honest, and their methods | slow: fo When chureh-spires rose from roofs with moss regrow! | n steadfast people held their books and sang, And the door, within the poor-box thrown, The well-worn silver with good blessings rang ; | sta un m: direst, | mi And rang his welcome in the belfry old, And sent that anthem on the frosty air, As, vear by year, the Xtaas tales were told— Fill that old sexton’ passed from earth and care. in how good he used to be! things, all wished for, he would When times were honest The old fol The needs of life were quickly named and num- 1 one used to see nd h child a king! ame ‘round without regret ; stars the waiting household slum- Aud at the table all the household met. Call hack oll back the screen o in the good old style— zht the wax candles, as the Past appears, And let us note the contrast for awhile. years, Put some fair maid in grandma's ancient gown ; Dust off the spinning-wheel, and set it near; , From cob-webbed garrets bring the treasures down, And brighten up the andirons for the year. Put buckled shoes, knee-breeches, on that lad; Show him how honest grandsire used his cane : Tell him that threadbare custom wasn’t ba And give him pattern from old days agaii Credit the Present with its hopes and wishes— Put grandsire’s chair close to the table's head ; us our walnuts from old grandame's dishes, From her decanters pour new hopes instead ! C. CHAMBERLAIN, JR, Gi GENTEEL ANU SURE. “T've more money than I know what to do with,” said an old bachelor, “and I often wish I knew of some genteel way of spending it.” “If that’s the case,” replied his friend, “why don't you run for congress ?” Th of openeth wide in an extravagance of bounty have determined to give from my stock and store: eider-down. new joke. punch, copy of * Americ Mait and Express. | Chopin's * Funeral March.” extra auricul pie. would to heaven more young men joined my church of their own free will. warded ” your church. you say?” THREE. IGIV E AND BEQUEATH. Christmas being the season when the h CHRISTMAS EPOCHS. ICHARD, our laddie, at ten year's old, Is delighted with his tops: He loves to gorge on Christ- mas day Unto the tramp a square meal and a bed of Himself with lolly-pops. Unto the humorous writer the subject for a At twenty takes His girl out with a nag : At night he paints the town all red ‘Long with his Christmas years of age he Unto Grover Cleveland a manual on the | re of infants, for future reference. Unto James G. Blaine a set of photographs the hite whouse interior. Unto William Evarts the latest publica- on on stenography. ars of age he sits Unto Neal Dow a receipt for making rum Disconsolate in And shudders whi His wife's big + he figures up hristunas bills, H, 8. KELLER. Unto James Gonton Bennett an illuminated , My Own, My Native Land.” Unto the poxer-player a straight flush, with uu _Aces to relieve the monotony. Unto Cyrus W, Field a subscription to the | COU. DN'T IF HE WOULD. “Why don’t you become a prohibitionist 2” | said an exhorter to a hod-carrier. Unto the paragrapher on salary a copy of | “Faith, Oi can't afford it,” was the bluff | repl Unto the female theatre-goer a maid to : and in the lobby and hold the Gainsborough | what do you mean ?” ntil the curtain descends, "said Pat, ‘don't these tim'prance Unto the newspaper reporter a glimpse at dhrinks of yours cost a man tin cints! y check book. Unto the interviewer a pairof ears of double r power, | Unto the bachelor a wife, and unto the arried man a divorce. Unto myself unlimited favor and fortune. NATHAN M. LEVY. ‘an'tafford it!” echoed theother. ‘ Why, EXCEPTION TO THE RULE “Is it necessary to have a medi before you will accept a patient ¢” er of an insane aay him. ” mn," was the reply, * unless he is | an ex-alderman or a superannuated actor.” certificate asked a lady The bad boy, like little Jack Horner, stands When you get a chance to iden a girl, don't the corner, but he doesn’t getany Christmas stop to see whether you are under the mis- | tletoe, ONE MORE CONVERT. PRESBYTERIAN MINISTER (teith tarmth)— Ah, my pious friend, this is indeed a rare trewt. 1 But you shall we re- Provs ¥ AWYER (icho has just opened an office)—That’s it! The reward’s what I'm after. he Methodist minister said there was no scandal in his church, and I didn’t stand a ghost of a show getting a law practice there, so T thought P'd come and see what arrangement I could make with If you will guarantee me fifteen hundred the first year I'll join at once. What do