Judge — December 25, 1886 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE CONSPIRATORS. OLD CHOCOLATE’S CHRISTMAS EVE. “We mus’ all hab ouah ups an’ downs, ez de man 'maaked ‘tween de bounces w'en ‘is nabahs war tossin’ uin in a blanket fo’ borrerin: chickens; but he am mighty souali-tempah’d er in haad luck dat can't fin’ a little spo't on C’rismus.” Thus spoke Old Chocolate, who sat in O'Rafferty’s grocery Christ mas eve, assisting in the secretion of a pitcher of cider which the gro- ceryman had drawn as asort of annual and ante-holiday bonus. The | grocery stove blossomed likea rose, and around it were gathered thir. | was the offender wien charged with a misdemeanor. TOMASO TABERLENO (a villain)—“ Hist! I have discovered where the Christmas turkey is kept. Remember, to-night at twelve !—the kitchen vindow! Hark! some one approaches ; let us dissemble.” (Exit over | back fence.) é HO, DAR! C’RISMUS COMIN’. teen ebon citizens, who did not seem to care whether the mercury dropped out of the thermometor or not. Sufficient to the evening was the cider thereof. “T doan’ s'pose dar er a gem’n heah w'at ull fail toe hang up ‘is stockin’ dis ebenin’ er put suffin’ in one a’ready hung up,” continued Old Chocolate, as he took another sip of cider and unwound from his neck a red bandanna on one corner of which was a print of Moses in the bulrushes. ‘* W'at yo’ been buyin’ fo’ de ole woman, Pennyroy'l 7” He addressed Pennyroyal Jones, an aged African, so-called because he gathered * yarbs” for a living, who replied: “Wy, sah, I dun pu’chase a po'us plastah fo’ de ole woman.” “Wrat yo’ dun git de pickaninny, Double ?” queried Old Choco- late, turning to a russet-brown individual designated as ‘* Double” because he always insisted that another, who looked ‘jis’ laik” him, Double pleaded guilty to a jewsharp. An’ yo'?” The inquisitor’s finger now pointed at a negro whose countenance was not improved by a glaring green shade over one and who disclosed a bag of peanuts. A fourth confessed to a remnant of brilliant-colored calico for Dinah; another to a yard of yellow ribbon for a daughter ; the sixth man sheepishly pulled out a pair of roller skates; and so on around the circle, until Sleepweil Smith was reached. “Yo! gwine toe hang up yo’ stockin’ dis ebenin’, Mistah Smif ?” asked Old Chocolate. Sleepwell sl onh Nussah, |fo' brekfus’.” The jocundity which 1y complicated the knot in a piece of twine which held a dilapidated overshoe ight foot, and blurted out: T'se gwine toe be mighty lucky ef I kin hang up de groc'ry fo’ a slice ob codfish up to this moment had prevailed went out of the grocery atmosphere. on de numbahs in de policy shop w’en da doan’ mobe da'sefs aright, an’ sel'om dallies wid |de w'itewash brush w’en unslacked lime am at de bottom ob de maakit. People laik Mistah We er got de chine ob ay Ho, dar! Dar's de ‘possum’s track, an’ Ho, dar! C'rismus comin’! We dun scar’ de crow wid a few old clo’; Ho, dar! C'rismus e An’ wid empty craw an’ a “ Caw-caw He dun lef’ dat cawnfiel’ hummin’! O smell de hoe-cake Bub Smack yo! lips! OSis Mariah, stub dat flah Twell de ‘possum gravy drips! Let yo" toe shake! We can’t snoop an’ scratch roun’ de mellen patch ; Ho, dar! C'rismus comin’ ! Fo’ mellen an’ weed hab done gone toe rr! C'rismus comin’! Bat ‘possum an’ ‘coon am sho'ly a boo Ho, dar! C’rismus comin’ ! | An’ yo! teef ull ‘shine w’en yo" git toe dine An’ de banjo am a trummin'! | | | | Ho, « O smell de hoe-cak Rub yo" stummick ! Smack yo! lips! O Sis’ Mariah, stuh dat fiah Twell de ‘possum gravy drips! J. A. WALDRON. Let yo" toe shake! have yer Fist ALLEGED crmizex—"I knew we'd come out all right fer ther dinner, Bill. »? Frapped 'r nat'ral heat 7” SECOND ALLEGED crTizEN—‘I guess I'll go it frapped, bein’ it’s sech a hot day. yer chicken well done ’r rare?” THEY HAD SEEN BETTER DAYS. How'll ser Will you her