Judge — December 4, 1886 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SIMILAR AILMENT. Pat—* Phat’s de mather wid you?" Mike—“ Phat’s de mather wid you?” Pat—* Well, nuthin.” Mike—“ Well, «at's phat’s de mather wid me.” enemy heeded his com-| mand hislife wassaved. | Half the world catches up those words and re-| peats them with ex- tremeemphasis. Sthop a leedle! Hold back the advancing hours. Build impassable walls against the hastening days. Shut out those Christmas bells,the pre- | decessors of which rang themselves out of sight only a few short days| ago. Lift storm and | procrastination and de- lay against the roses of the coming Christmas |sky. There be few wise ‘virgins here. The JupGE himself claims nothing of that kind. Beginning with the girl |beyond the Battery, verily there are no lamps trimmed and there is not a suffi- ciency of oil. Let the christmas bridegroom tarry. Wherefore this) unseemly haste ? overcome the court. Charge. Judge’ CAUSE AND EFFECT, The president suddenly discovered that Attorney Benton of Missouri had not been quilty of pernicious activity after all. The process of reasoning which led to this judg- ment was queer. The leading Democrats of Misouri declared that if the president didn't make the discovery they would repudiate him in the national convention. Thus the rule— te peeches a week, pernicious activity and removal. Benton delivered twenty-six a week, but seven of them were incidental, uncontem- plated and casually spoken to his neighbors; so that he had still aspeech to go before becoming pernicious STHOP A LEEDLE! Afar off the Christmas bells are ringing. We shall turn around a couple of times and lo they will be here, catching half the world, as always heretofore, with empty pockets or bank accounts so slim that they are sickened of their | cadaverous selves. The JupGe would have this remembered. While there are thousands that hear those bells with delight there are other thousands that | shrink from them with a sensitiveness that has grown with the passing years. From out the chorus of merry laughter and gratified expecta- tion will come one, two, three, ever so many piping little voices tremulous with grief that their owners have been forgotten, and that is an indictment against every man who goes into the second week of Jannary with a dime in his pocket. We must have more time. always come too soon. Bea man ever so rich, he must have more time. Be he poor, the necssity for preparation is greater. The Dutchman of old cried out aloud to the advan- cing enemy, “Sthop a leedle!” and as the The holidays There is a lack of v: ety in the faces they present from day to day. Thus they give Martine to-day, Richard New- combe to-morrow and Colonel Fellows the next day, and invariably fetch up with Jacob Sharp and Roscoe Conkling at the close of the week. During the week following the order of the presentation is reversed, or the parties are presented in groups instead of singly, as during the previous seven days; but always and inva- riably there are the same faces, giving out sinister or pleasing expressions according to the imagination of the observer and the situa- tion in which they happen to be involved. Why should this be? The court's soul has sickened especially of that man Newcombe and his smooth face and studied carelessness of hair; and as for the rest of the excessively favored parties there is not one of them whose countenance has not come to be as hateful to the general public as if it represented a profes- sional pirate. Why should this bei Is it well to reproduce Smith merely because he has secured a new client? Does it add to the | public interest in Jones that he has sent Swipes to the penitentiary and has turned his atten- tion to Sweed?. Is not Thompson the same Thompson, with the same cast of countenance, though he has just talked to a new jury and is about to change his hour for lunch? Granted that Johnson has exchanged savage words with the opposition and has browbeaten the judge—what of it? We have had Johnson nine times already, and he would not have changed in looks if he had shot the presiding gentleman and swept the jury out of existence with his torried eloquence. Thou miserable, tantalizing, exasperating fiend of the daily pictorials, let up! Give us new faces or give us none at all! Produce Ferguson of the cross-roads, or Jackson of the toll-gate, or Roe of the ticket-office, or Doe of the Blank hotel, anybody but these too, too familiar parties, who have breakfasted and dinnered and suppered and slept with us these several dreary months and years. SIGNS OF PROSPERITY. Visitors to New York, and people in pursuit of good things will be surprised at the changes in the Sturtevant House, Broadway, corner 29th st. The house has been entirely re- fitted, and’ has a new elevator, new plumbing, &., and ts kept on both the American and European plans by the thor- ough hotel men, Mesars. Matthews and Pierson. Moderate prices prevail, with everything of the finest grade. COOL UNDER FIRE. IY inc Toomt CLERK—‘' Are you a guest of this house?” Tramp—In course lis Who'd yer take me for? The proprietor?”