Judge — November 20, 1886 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

iape: CON. LAFFERTY'S COON. the styson, But the more Oi'd lave me nose to simple ket plazed Oi was to resoign th stigation. Hoy “O'ill save #0 Iwill, an’ he'll not have it to say agin Con. that ye lifth : sich wither ax this to catch the malaria,’ an’ howldin’ a OPE + |me nose Oi pushed to the rescue. ON LARFERT Ye oahe 1 avas w fut of the little baste whin, murdtherin r furnishing re-| uskrats! me nose just suv way complately atthe imphatic bookay that freshiment toa party | truck it, *M sez. Oi, ‘is it to be consaved that a coon'd hav of Wuntsmen who) cot shanall respe nself as to ney lict his brith to that axtint?? an’ halted at bis] 1.'Q; shtopped to reflict on the conundthrum the coon guy a jump 4 peyant me, an’, ‘pon 1 , sor, OF was puthrefoied wid the remim- * Befoore O'id been | nce he lift behwind, ‘Axe sez Oi jandseape, an’ wid in this section long) iat Oi run loike a dog in’ his own tin weddin’, an’ the fashter enough to aiven shape! o; wint the louder the p ory asserted itself, the dishtiny of the proi-)"" “ithe braze that Oi'd shtirred up as I schampered along samed marie, Ol was invoited un’ whin Oi kem to the naygurs, may the row cauliflowers of the entire congregation didn’t give as if they were troyin to catch the last thrain for | sulvation. ‘ i guy purshoot, nu’ joggled furnht this naygur an’ th y-howldin’ me nose an condimmni matics all the toime, the intoire axcursion train tuk the fashion an’ consaled his nose wid iver 2 mUSt Lis fisht there was to i ction 10 |e occasion. Oi jumped intil * ss |the fursht brook Oi shtrick, besvides that no gintlemin ean rilish the ac bi? afteee pieenin’ the’ kame, of the little bayste that furnishes the ii" he vilirobe fhere as med a diagnoses of iii twate an" the different koinds of erayehures that raysimble | ei ee win in thedid of him, but have their own e'ructheristies all the iit same: ; . | It was noigh a hit the intertainment tuk place, so it was, an’ as) iotore Oi recov 1 out Oi tuk mnsus of the dogs and 1 ‘ Oi to! cred from the fla- coon is in kapin’ wid the vor’ of that axpa: of the army of subjygation it'll nade no mikyscope to foind him, ineecen’ § won't,’ an’ wid that Oi catechoised wan of the party an” he towlt 1 wasn't the soize of the game that was terryfeyin’, but the spoonk divil that was. “ Purty soon the dogs tuk to barkin’ an’ goin’ on as ef they the St. Voytus ager, an’ as for the naygurs they bate the dogs doidoes an’ hullyballo, an’ the further we wint the more pov turruned on, an’ says Oi—secin’ they ayther guns nor pistols: * They're goin’ to ire the baste e, itly the concinthrated their whoops and shrake: agion of a large goom tree, an’ ef ye'd sine the pack of ‘em shtritchin’ their nicks back: |) “ards an’ api itd mi hippypotymus mortifoied | ye'd hev wondertherd, as Oi did, fhat koind of fruit was growin’ there Vixcoite their anxoiet Sez Oi to mesilf, sez Oi, * Ef it’s a goom tree sure enough an’ there's plenty of goom on it, ef the coon doesn't accumylate the ingrajients an’ shtoitle the wide-mouthed gintr turnin’ his back on a goulden opporchunity. “Well, it wint on this way till the loikes of the rac rayched me capacity for music » moind that OF'd soide wid the coon ef wurst come rst, OF cr i yonoyther ‘round, intint on warnin at OF'd see goin’ in the di of the fracas, OFd ne more tha yehed beyant the flare of the torches, an’ jist fhere there was le tenough to see at all at all, whin Morpheus.” Oi lit me oyes on complicted, shtunted little baste sort of Husband— humpin’ along like a moonkey wid de loombager, Seein’ the gintle- = ; Seems to me an was makin’ for the ragion of the disturbance Oi planted mesilf = = that new nurse ind im an’ danger an’ sez Oi * Shoo!” = = | girl has astrange ll respict he paid me, so he didn’t, an’ wid that I comminced zg z name. me fate an’ whippin’ the air wid me 5 ; EXTENSIVE AURICU- arrums, an’ sure enough he comminced to retrate, tho’ it n'thimsilf | \ >» 1 * LAR APPENDAGES. that was contint to do it, so it wasn't. He kipt a-backin’ and a-backin’ | ay ST i Politician — the whoilst mesilf was shooin’ ‘im all the toim , son it 4 y 5 ? “Yes, indeed, a was before Oi had ‘im cornered, wid his back E tree an’ 5 ‘ man to be suc- the ruts roisin’ up an’ fowldin’ ‘im in loike. * : cessful in politics “Oi cudn't see his faychures, moind ye, but Oi knew be the axpris : € f | nowadays has to sion of his fate, that were thumpin’ the ground, that it wasn’t a con = : have the laboring tinted countenance he had on ‘im, but, sez Oi, ‘Its mesilf that's as - classeson his side, shtarted to riscue ‘im from the naygurs, an’ sure O7'll loiy on ‘im as the , Now look at Rob- safest doin it! sez Oi. Wid that Oi advanced on ‘im can- Meppvite, Mupp cousty, Mcp, Oct. 28th, ‘86. | inson.- He's sue- tiously, little dhramin’ he'd be ongintlemanly, the shpalpane, Purty | D& Kraais—Dear sir; My wife, who was a sufferer | cessful because soon me nose was offinded. so to spake, an’ thin be the fumes of Hades! fF Some time with a severe pain in the right hand cor- | he has the earsof ef the atmosphere didn't complately mortify all to once, an’ set the Det Of her left « ae d me to buy her twobottles | the working- shmelin’ apparatus to achin’ wid embarrassment, ye can’ varnish me |ty comping keTHNe: Sinceusing it she has ceased | may wid assyfedity. * Begorra.’ sez Oi, * but the nose is complate infirmit Yours very truly | I've noticed th in such a cloimate!* an’ wid this Oi tuk to consuitin’ me nostrils | J. Wastii were pretty big wondtherin’ phat sort of woild flower it was that had suddintly opened Supt. Mudd water works, ones.” tl riggs cutions of the coon “Not knowin’ a coon from an | 1 artychoke, but belavin it'd pop-| - * . | the pylate me wid the party, Oi Oi'm towld, sor, sence eaivint that a man must that, so it was, that_me woife an’ childther cud shpoy mea mile off be the bookay at as a long toime a conspick- jyous part of me personal prope They towlt me wftherwanls that the coon Oi sympathoized wid was a shkoonk, an’ while Oil consade that sich is a betther name for a bayste wid sich im- rissive e'ractheristics, OF not thrust mesilf ona coon-hunt agin for that ivery coon has the janius for makin’ ashkoonk of ‘imself ef it shuits his convaynience to be dishgusted wid his surroundin Wave Wuirt HER PECULIAR NAME. Husband— “Where is little izen