Judge — October 9, 1886 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ Two souls with but a single thought.” burnt and weary, bloated and bad, ragged and filthy, stockingless and with its with rags. It is hopelessly ugl tious; but it has satisfaction in th the smoke, the rattle and roar of the and it turns ir the lumber-yard, and in sheltered pl the docks, with a grunt of satisfaction as pro- nounced as if it, too, were home again, THREE BOOM: When Roswell P. Flower kisses brides he does it with a sweetness of countenance delicacy’ of smack and pucker that delight the artistic sense of the rural popul: measure—even large measure. TI apps ently Roswell’s idea of a boom; and a very good kind of boom it is, for it soothes the aspirant so that he doesn’t sigh if be gets licked. ‘The boom of Grover Cleveland and that of David Hill are radically different. The for- mer flourishes bést asa rough, rude back woods- man, whose trousers flap about his coarse boots or are part y buried in the legs thereof; and the latter goes around as a farmer, with the hair all tanned off his head, but unfortu nately with his coat on, his leather well blacked and diamonds in his starched shirt, ‘There is something so eminently proper and harmonious in Roswell's idea that we half suspect he will win—when he happens to have agood hand, There is nothing incongrnous about Roswell's method and his personal adaptation to the same. His kind of election- eering, too, is not arduous or vexatious. It doesn’t anno; One isn’t fretted when he goes around kissing brides. But Grover kisses his own bride. a great deal in that. FARWER HENRY AND THE BAD LANDS. A farmer must have good implements or he | “t have good crops or do good reaping and | Farmer Hill emphasized this; shoes tied on and unambi- pavement y) | | There is | poor-house it would in great truth during his recent agricultural tour. | stratory foree, ‘* My dear sir, you will notice He failed to mention, however, the still more that I haven't yet got in.” important truth that in order to be successful, “+1 obser’ said Mr. Jones, looking over the farmer must have a good farm and it must the stream by the light of a match, “that be thoroughly cleared of all manner of rubbish. there are no modern improvements on it, and But Farmer Henry George has a more dif¥- the fe e is of the most primitive order. I cult task than that. If he should close out the} wouldn't give a cent for such a stream as weeds, stones and stumps and the other ex-| that.” crescences of his domain that sicken the ob-| * It's mudd serving optic he would have soi ‘arious ¢ land, though not much. nd was chiefly |a fish in it. There isn't an electric light for »|miles around. The ferryman looks as if he is no good use. It is productive for the most hadn't had a square meal for ten years. If part of old boot, aged and fragment: tin, |anybody isto have such a stream as that it hopelessly abandoned hoop-skirt, neglected | ought to be Jone sawdust, and dilapidated and useless garment. | They are not put there—they come up of their| suggested Mr. Reid is absolutely absent in own sloth, They have just enough activity to| its unwholesome entirety. Oh, give it to breed. If you should try to tax such landas| Fagin. Send it out to him by the servant that to pay for a government, the government | through the back door. It's cold victuals and Income enough to build the) they've soured.” vitably need. Thefew! It was finally decided by way of a compro- ulks of value of which the land ‘apable | mise that it should be given to the editor of ave the life choked out of them before they the Evening Post; and thereupon all the jother editors wrapped their drapery about st, hard-working, bright! them in high disdain, tripped away from the riculturist !—move off of that half-acre of ‘river with such haste as to expose their fairy misery and take your sturdy laborers with you, ankle vowed that they wouldn't cross You and they are keeping most wretchedly that river if they went around forages like the non-productive company. wandering Jew : and generally bad,” chorused ‘ening editors, ‘‘and there isn't ze,” contemplatively THE NEW GEOGRAPHICA There was a gathering of editorial fairies at the river Styx.“ What kind of a stream do you call this, anyhow ?” inquired Mr. Pulit- r. “Bring out the maps and let’s look into It 1s THOUGHT that in the impending strug- gle between our governor and the president the former will use a hoe and the latter a fishing- pole, and we believe that with these weapons it is difficult to hit below the the belt. L PROBLEM. WE subGE from the amount of gratuitous advertising they are getting that the Camerons hi rrived. It may even be remarked that they have come to y I think,” remarked Mr. Dana, looking at it through his twinkling spectacles, “that it is as I saw it first it ought to be Iris staTeEp that the curl on the forehead of 1" mildly ejaculated Mr. Reid; Roscoe Conkling has disappeared. So perishes whereupon Mr. Dana said, with mild remon- the glory of this world. INTERNATIONAL COMMENT. “th fico) en Bt UN ay R Mr. Ka liapilities ur Mr. Cot HN—** Dere goes dot Shkinner veller vot failed las’ week, He het dwendy-fife tousan’ nt no asseds,” sh dot so? Mine cracious! he vas a shmard feller—for an Amerigans, ain‘d it 7” comicbooks.com