Judge — October 9, 1886 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

10 ape: Ed Judge’s Charge. IS THIS TOO FRESH? The drummer Petrie, who has just shot two Texans merely because they wanted him to join them in an unfriendly game of poker, is altogether too salt-Petrie. LET Us DISCRIMINATE, The cry has gone out that there must be no more bonnets at the theatre. The court will not indorse it until it is definitely known whether the occupants are to be abolished DON'T SUIT EXACTLY. | derful what an amount of terrific argument |ean be had over a pruposition as to the pro- priety of which all are agreed and regarding | which there is not the slightest opposition. “We must not unite justice with politics, says the Republican Bugle. ‘The Banner might as well understand that first as last.” “ Once for all we tell the Bugle to its teeth, the bench must be removed from the political arena,” says the Democratic Banner witb a | i | great exhibition of ferocity. | “We have long thought,” remarks the Trumpet, which has no politics of a distinctive nature, ‘that the judiciary should be as far | ” also, If that is the case it will be far better to | removed from politics as the church itself. keep the bonnets and let the theatre go. Let our partisan contemporari = their several pipes and smoke it. ‘A DISTINGUISHED DEPARTURE. Now why this disturbance? Since all are The court regrets the death of Professor 1 | agreed, why not shake hands and drop the Damn of Karlsruhe. In some circles his name | subject ¢ If the various esteemed contempora- put that’ in “Tcome in answer to an advertisement for a carpet shaker !” ou any reference?” I've got the ague and when I be- has been in every mouth for many years, and | ries keep on in the way they have been going | gin shaking I'shake all day without stopping.” it has at times been uttered with the vehemence | there will be serious trouble and nobody will of extraordinary appreciation. The family to | be able to tell what it is about. which he belonged is very ancient. In bibli- — cal history it is spelled with three syllables. There isa woman with a baby. The baby was invented solely, as the court suspects, for If he| the purpose of killing him, Wherever he couldn't have given George a better river than | goes that woman and that babe go too. They that he might better ha’ put it in his) set themselves up in rank and wholly unpar- vest-pocket and carried it around himself. But, |donable opposition to bis personal comfort. if we are surprised at the lttleness of Schwat-| They glare at him. They poke fingers at him. ka, what must be our astonishment at the con- | They arouse him too early in the morning, descension of George? And then there is the | after having pestered him through the gloom} river. It is large and muddy, at the same watches of the night. Worse than all that, time that it is small and unwholesome. But they squall at him, shriek at him, whine at perhaps it is good enough as a mugwump river him, growl at him, and at all times are in —any kind of river will do for that. | such danger of breaking their necks by getting on themselves -into perilous situations that he Ti Toca OF rice: involuntarily turns his face away from the The court judges, after hasty glances at the book he would fain devour and shudderingly newspapers of this city and state at intervals | waits to hear them drop and utter the last ago- during the past month, that there are grave in- | nizing scream. Not the woman exactly, but tentions of taking, or perhaps keeping, the ju- |the baby. It is the woman who does it in diciary out of politics. And really it is won-| reality, but she does it through the mediumship THE DISPUTED LIQUID. The court does not like Schwatka. PUTTING ON STYLE. SMALL poy.—" Ma brush and some powd pects some company and éhe wants to know if you will lend her your tooth- as she'd like to fix up a bit.” of the child. She must stick pins into the baby, and she does it to have revenge upon the court. Sometimes the court adjusts himself to his cigarand magazine with a solid sense of com- fort and—immediately begins to grow the tops of his ears with expectation. The woman and the baby are on the floor above and are doing the overture. Shutting them out, he puts out ir and something of life; but gives the match to the tobacco with determination as well as doubt and looks at the table of contents with a mingling of curiosity and solicitude that is both odd and sad. The ears are long enough already, but they are perked and piqued with | dread of some impending calamity. It comes. It always comes. The woman and the baby are on the floor below, and the orchestra is in the midst of a grand combination of Wagner and Sir Arthur Sullivan. The cigar will not smoke. The magazine cannot be read. There must be air. Putting himself into his coat | with nervousalacrity, the court goes recklessly into the street and—bruises his tender shins over the woman and the baby. They are there too. They have been there some time. They have been waiting for him. He foils them with some little dexterity and goes out into the large park to soothe himself. It is a nice park, There comes over one as he sits in that park a sense of rest that can be had in few other places. The air, the trees, the shrubbery, the passing people, the — But never mind. The woman und the baby have cornered the court again. They come upon him, he sometimes thinks, likes wolves on the fold. The woman backs her carriage up against the court, wearing upon her counte- nance a look of unbaffled rage and her eyes shining like those of a malicious serpent; ap- plies the bottle to the baby’s lips by way of assuming innocence and the better to create surprise; gives a few turns to the invisible crank that sets the baby going, and in three seconds, the bottle having been indignantly thrown aside, the court has French, German, English, Italian and American opera in such ear-piercing, soul-splitting confusion that he goes mad and tears out half his hair. It seems to the court that this is conspir- acy. It ought to be punishable. It is totally unjust. The court loves babies with an ardor that cannot be accurately measured, and is not wholly indifferent to the mothers of. babies. Why should they persecute him thus? Why should they come at him at all times and in all places—on the ferry, in the cars, at home and abroad, everywhere —with malice in their leycs and their throats and lungs attuned to