Judge — October 2, 1886 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE STREETS OF NEW YORK—NO. ? must have these heavy cab-drivers let us some provision for the horse. of last week and will control that of nest | | week and next y Disinterestedness, cleanliness, eapacity?” Dear boy, what chump you are! — There are a thousand words that would fill the bill quite as well | been used until are battered in the face and deserve to be sent back to the foundry to be melted to other purposes THE TRIUMPHAL AGRICULTURAL TOUR. ‘| There is something so pathetic in the | | personal interviews of Governor Hill with th rious ruraiists who enthused about him during the recent triumphal me does not care to consider ul significance. One gray- haired veteran of the war of 1812 ap- proached with three sons and said be- | tween sobs, ‘Do I at last behold a live make bd Judge’s Charge. STATESMANSHIP, Mr. Hearld’s battle-cry somehow reminds us of Mr. Bayard’s. It is in the words follow- ing, to wit, that is to say, ‘Lemme alone.” GEESE. The man who killed the goose of the golden egg was not nearly as idiotic as the modern prohibitionist. He couldn't have been. As matter of self-respect he would have commit- ted suicide before he was born. PRESCIENCEr The JvpGe begs to remind its readers of its confidence in the Mayflower, as expressed in a leading and powerful editorial art ten years ago. And the reminder is the more suggestive from the fact that the JupGE, out of respect for international courtesy, bet its money on the Galatea. The Buffalo Express says, speaking of European polities, that Germany sits with glass half raised, complacently inqui “Ish dot so?” In our opinion the inquiry of Germany relates to the length of time that must expire before the next gl V German ever kept his glass half he fired it off hastily and without regard to any news or any of the consequences. nd THE SAME OLD WISDOM. Henry Watterson says the newspaper of the future must have three cardinal principles— disinterestedness, cleanliness, capacity. Henry, dear boy, did you ever see a newspaper that was not thus developed ?_ Look over their col- umns. Read their announcements. Consult their editorial pre Every newspaper in America dev: © portion of its space to showin good, honest, clean, a disinterested sheet it is, It says these things at least once in eve and about the middle of th ns to print double-le umns about itself to the same effect, being stereotyped to prevent re-writing insure their regular appearance when the other advertising doesn’t crowd it out. Henry, there is nothing so good as the news- paper as itexists now. Many people talk wise- ly of the newspaper of the future, as they did fifty years ago of the newspaper of the present. There have been rapid advances in telegraphic facilities, in machinery, in enterprise— may have heard of them ; but, after all, the same kind of human mind controls the news- riper of to-day that controlled the newspaper issue, le some | ised either— | governor ? “You bet,” said Davi kerchief to his n't no gun-shootin worm-fishing offic nd I don't go to sleep | when my country needs my services. How's crops ?” | “Better 'n usual,” weeping profusely pplying his hand- ” aid the good old man, | and by the way here's three votes besides my own. Take ‘em and be platform a couple | who wanted to be married, and insisted that David should do the marrying. ‘But I can’t,” said David; * the constitution won't allow it.” “But you can at least kiss the bride,” said the youth with considerabl xiety. ‘* Please do. We shall never forget “My nd,” said the little governor with | dign “T shall be glad to do so, but unhap- pily there is a provision in the fourth chapter of the laws of 1776 which prohibits all luxury | | of that kind. Now you go right on and get married, and I'll witness the ceremony He signed the certificate of marriage amidst pplanse, and then said solemnly, ‘The ing finely, hour,” she remarked with a persuasive expres- sion of countenance. ** You remind me late husband. I see his eyes in yours. his hair upon your forehead.” “Forgive me, madame,” said the governor hastily, ‘but Iam bald-headed. According to the penal code it is not proper for a man forty yeurs of age t ** But I love you just the same,” rupted. *" “Leggo my hand energetically my nativ nd. Here the cheers were so numerous and loud that they frightened the woman off. Thus it went. The governor had his hand nearly shaken off. The applause he recived nearly deafened him. Old and young, women and men gave him countenance and encour- agement. “TIthink,” said David, when he fi reached the executive mansion, crops are promising. There wi white ti There will be oceans of potatoes. ‘The wheat crop will be very large. _ It is pos- sible that we won't raise much United States senatorship this year, but the yield of ballots for °88 will be exceptionally gratifying.” Ivi y she inter- exclaimed the governor “Tlive merely for heaven and WOMANUKE, Into the garden the lady walks, Scrutinizing the flower stalks. What's it that makes ber break off in her song # Only a caterpillar crawling along, On the end of a stick it is caught, lest it sting, And she says, “ My poor roses—you horrible thing. ‘Then she throws it down in a terrible wrath, And crushes it flat on the ganten path, Into the house she gayly goes, Idly twirling a full-blown rose, “Tell me who taught you so eryel to be,"* She says, as she places him over her knee. * What was the miscreant’s horrible si Only a butterfly stuck ona pin 4.3. O'CONNELL. will pan out well directly, pecially elde ries Wherever he went the eccentric individ- ual of the locality came up and shook his hand. i bless you claimed one ble farmer tw: years old. remind me | Wright.” * said David with ready recogni- tion of the subject, “ Tthink so too. my predecessor | quently remarked | and he shut one eye | contemplativel “the sile’s right be- cause it remains in its place.” Whereupon | the cheers cleaved the clouds. A woman ina sun- bonnet approached hesitatingly, but when she got the gov- ernors hand she clung to it. “I have long looked for this ‘one | “You of Sile you, Mr, Fattyman? lone woman.” OLD BACHELOR (gruffly) DOESN'T CATCH ON. Otp Matp—“ It’s a pity that you have no one—no wife to wash for )}—“'I'd rather wash for one man than work for comicbooks.com