Judge — August 21, 1886 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Siape: Dis sbirit you alvays vill found, Fon der lager bier sign to der steeple, It vas peesniss all ¢. y round, Off you try to deadbea our dinner Or shlide in der church or der bi Dey vill said to der saint or der sinner, “Ve don't do peesniss dot va: y-li-hoo, der-li-hoo, (Dot's 7— ‘sx varble comes in here, vinding wp! MRS, PUGWASH'S SAYINGS, mit * Ve don't do peesniss dot vay.” ‘tis moat. ioral poets are not poets at fan. A shroud is the onl garment we never wear out. Dot's der vay mit all kindts of brofession all got der system down vi -y holts mit a grip deir Losse Mit a deefrence betwixt yours unt mine. Unt I lofe dot American sbirit Dot vaits to findt oud who vill pa: Unt verefer you go you vill hear it, Enough is always * Ve don’t do pessniss dot : little more than’ we! Ven you nodis dem socialist pubbles |have. 3 made mit some uder man’s soap. Ba petionca team: ]son we want to be taught only once, In these days the minstrel’s curse falls upon the poor editor. The most disagree- able man is he who always tells the truth. y got blenty of rope. Off our freedom vas peen an inducement To blow oop der coontry some day Dey vill findt it oxpensive amusement! Ve don't do peesniss dot va In der bast ve vas peen in a hurry To make us a fortune unt fam To earn it ve don't nefer worry— Off we got it den dot’s all de But of late you observe dis b Off you vant to got oop dere to shtay: Der muses vas saidt to der beeple, “Ve don't do peesniss dot vay It vas so in der social relation — You can’t drade your shape for der cash— Off your prains vas avay on vacation Unt you go mit der girls on a mash, Der oldt man gets onto your racket Unt kicks you righd oud of der v: Unt say You ain'd got cash to ba Ve don’t do peesniss dot vay.” Industry was der frow of invention, Unt cash vas a friendt hard to beat ; Unt vork vas a ting dot I mention s gets dere mit both feet. t der shpot on der tarket ; ut der vorld cries “ Hurray dt dot der vorld vas a market does peesniss dot vay. The man who gets up the earliest doesn’ always do the most work, In horse-car_ the woman with the small- jest feet gets thein trod on the oftenest. The man who cannot have his own way liable to become dissat- isfied with the world. A woman will never admit, even to her dearest friend, that she got her new dress ata bargain. JAMES JAY O'CONNELL, HE MISSED LAST YEAR'S EXCURSION. CURSIONIST—** Faith, Mike, but you're dirths SECOND HIBERNIAN EXCURSIONIST—“ Och, an’ phat Kin yez expict whin Oi haven't bin down to der shore for two years?” i} his boots off, climb the stairs softly and with great mental and physical difficulty, and open the door to his room to find his wife sitting up in bed with hard eyes and a rebuking countenance? It seems to us that this question is highly superfluous. A Connecticut blue law provided that no man should court a maid in person or by letter without the consent of her parents, on penalty of five pounds. Some of the best courting known to the human kind must thereby have been utterly lost jto the youthful puritan, and if he was sour in his old age it was be- [cause he was denied the sweetness that should have come to him when he could best appreciate it. A great deal is to be pardoned those puritans. They suffered from tyr- wants to know what anarchy is. |anny all their lives, and it was none Did the editor ever go home at|the better because they inflicted it four o'clock in the morning, take |on themselves. THE COURT PHILOSOPHER. The society of United Presbyte- rians of Ohio has decided to permit the use of instrumental music in church services. Persons who look upon this as the sixteenth century will find by consulting the alma- nac that they are very much mistaken. A writer tells of a man who, not being well-read, had no second- hand information to distribute. If there is anybody possessed of first-hand information he ought to be looked up. So much has been discovered and so much told by the millions who lived through the centuries that the matter that} is new is particularly valuable. An ex-reverend New-York editor COMPARATIVE WORTH or BAKING POWDERS. ROYAL Adsolutely Pure), TS GRANTS (Alum Poder RUMFOUD'S (Phosphate) fres) a HASFouD’s, when fresh. REDHEADS. CHARM (Alum Powder)® AMAZON (Alum Powder)# CLEVELAND'S PIONEER (San Francisco) ... rs CZAR... DR. PRICE'S... as SNOW FLAKE (Grof's, St. Pou!) LEWIS’. CONGRESS... HECKER'S. GILLET's.. . HANFORD'S, when not fresh. ANDREWS £€0, (contains alum: (lilwaukeo.) "Regal." # BULK (Powder sold loose)... .. RUMFORD'S, when not fresh...Jy REPORTS OF GOVERNMENT CHEMISTS As to Purity and Wholesomeness of the Royal Baking Powder. ‘havo tested a package of Royal Baking Powder, which I purchased in the n market, and find it composed of pure and wholesome ingredients. It iaacream of tartar powder of a high degree of merit, and docs not contain cithe phosphates, or other injurious substances. E.G. Love, Ph. “It it a scientific fact that the Royal Baking Powder is abeolutely pure. “HL A. Morr, Ph.D." “I hare examined a package of Royal Baking Powder, purchased by myself i the market. I find {t entirely free from alum, terra alba, or any other injurious sub- stance. — Henny Monro, Ph.D., President of Stevens Institute of Technology.”” “Ihave analyzed a package of Royal Baking Powder. The materials of which {t is composed are pure and wholeeome. 8. Daa Hares, State Assayer, Mass.” The Royal Bi the Vienna World’ American Institute, No other article of human food has ever received such high, emphatic, and unt- versal endorsement from eminent chemists, physicians, sclentists, and Boards of Health all over the world. Powder received the highest award over all competitors at position, 1873 ; at the Centennial, Philadelphia, 18:6 ; at the at Stato Fairs throughout the country. Notz.—The above Draonam fllustrates the comparative worth of various Baking Powders, as ahown by Chemical Analysis and experiments made by Prof. Schedler. Aone pound can of each powder was taken, the total leavening power or volume in each can calculated, the result being as indicated. This practical test for worth by Prof. Schedler only proves what every observant consumer of the Royal Baking Powder knows by practical experience, that, while it costs a few cents per pound more than ordinary kinds, {t {s far more economical, and, besides, affords the advan- tage of better werk. A single trial of the Royal Baking Powder wili convince any fair minded person of these facts. ® While the diagram shows some of the alum powders to be of a higher degree of strength than other powders ranked below them, it is not to be taken as indica- ting that they have any value. All alum powders, no matter how bigh their strength, are to be avoided as dangerous, comicbooks.com