Judge — July 31, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. A CHAPTER ON BOWS. The too previous, or the man who ta anxious to be recognized. THE art of bowing correctly comes to the man who pos- sesses it, like the art of verse, as an inspiration. It can- not be taught. It must not be studied. It must not be re- flected upon in ad- vance. Your hero is the man whoacts without thought; and it is an impres- sive fact that no child can be res- cued from drown- ing until it has fallen into the water. Your graceful person ’ r studied the manual of politeness, and i ts without premeditation and the self-consciousness that the manual begets. Take.care of your heart, that it wish no ill to ne. Take care of your self-esteem, that it tive you confidence. ‘So shall you tip your hat with the indifference that you tip the ser- vant, and verily they who notice the trivial things which make the substance of life shall give you praise. There be bows and bows, and of them all, brethren, the ones that are totally omitted are generally the best. The head and shoulders were not invented to a large extent for that kind of exhibition, and the hinges of the knee should be oiled mostly for purposes of suppli- cation to a power greater than any around here. To lift the hat isa good thing, but to assume the studied and assiduous bow is to approach the obsequious nearer than is well or wise. Leave it, brethren, to the separator of wood, whose implement hath teeth sharper than the bite of an adder and a serecch fitted to his sluggish blood. It is labor and he gets his pay for it. But if you must bow take to yourself no anxiety thereupon. Begin not when the women whose esteem you seek are half a block off and cannot see your action be it everso elo- quent of respect or love. Faith it would be better, if you cannot bow well, to pass into some side street which they will not seek and bow to the unappreciative bricks thereof ; and of a truth the tender youth who ardently loveth had better hie himself to the bowels of the earth than meet his one fair object with such a thing, for he is sure to botch it anyhow. Neither, being filled with thought of other things, pass you by esteemed acquaintances without a thought of them, though in your stupid absent-mindedness you look them full The ton afterwards: the alment-minded man who mudienly remembers when he is forty yarda In yond thad mime ladies bowed to him, in the countenance and see therein asomething afar off, the look of indignation which is very obviously intended to rebuke your rudeness ; and then, having gone adis- tance, recover yourself and bow to the empty air, what time they are conversing with each other as to whether you have lost your brain or have visited upon them the cut direct. Omit, furthermore, the bow which needs to be interpreted to the too inquisitive woman at your side, lest it be followed by the domestic trouble which maketh the heart sore ; and of the bow which tears impressiveness to tatters and hangs the same upon the neighboring bush, while it may be permitted to the advanced pe- nod of life which hath come to love and ad- mire itself in proportion as men, and women have ceased to love and admire it, behold it is more honored in the breach than the ob- servance. B, BRUMMELL TURVEYDROP. The prince of Wales, among others, advised Miss Grant not to marry Gumboil. — He was probably afraid, dear old boy! that Gumboil was not strictly religious; and, now we think of it, perhaps it was he who advised our Freddy not to marry Langtry, too. When a minister falls from grace his congre- gation are too apt to look upon his immorality as merely a clerical error. The very tmpresetce. comicbooks.com ,