Judge — July 31, 1886 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. FEMININE AMENITIES. . | OUR DIAMOND EDITION DREADFUL. barn, cattle yard and bull pen. Nothing is Miss Jonrs— Captain Brown was utterly! Our little Willie has been penned up all| too small to escape Willie's keen eyes; noth- devoted to me last week at Newport.” these long weeks in the city school. He has|ing on his uncle Elijah’s farm is too large for Miss Sartu—‘Poor old Brown! How puzzled his little hereditary brains over his|him to tackle. Willie loves to drive the roan glad he must have been to find somebody will-|hard lessons and has tried to make life a| mare to the n factory; he takes after his ing to be seen with him.” snare and delusion to all who have been so| father and loves a race. Willie bets his new Miss Joyes—‘* Why? Was he compro-| unfortunate as to come in contact with him.|straw hat with a yacht in full sail upon its mised by his last flirtation with you | His grand holiday has arrived, and we have|band against a dilapidated frog-stabber that he sent him into the country to whoop things up| can beat the sleepy country boy to the fork in TRUE sToRts OF THE MASHER. for his uncle Eli, We are sorry for his the road. Itis a draw race and they will trot He (to lady in street-car) -“* Pardon me, | uncle Elijah. Willie will ereate a tornado if/no more heats. They both reached there. at but will you not tell me at what corner you) they only our pet a chance to spread him-|the same time, and over the commingled out?” self. Measles spread quick, but it takes a|shower of milk they commingled the brine of “That is unnecessary; but I can tell you at| pale, puny city boy to cast his baleful influ-|fellow woe. Willie knows that that old fan which you get out, and that is the next one. farm after he has once gotten |about a bull hating red is all a fiction. Strange to say, the prophecy is verified acquainted with the duck pond, the horse! tried it to his heart’s content. He was discov. within two minutes. ered by the hired ! - = | early the next day ELDERLY MASHER (to is ing to the branches of a jady also in street-car)— maple. He says thata “Excuse me, but will ee a ‘2, bull will chase a red horse you not allow me the | is ‘Ti ae blanket, and paw all day honor of your acquaint- | fi and night around a tr i 7 " too. Willie is practical joker. Sy ‘y wound a rope of straw and distinctly) } \ Z around the dog’s neck and your mistake in x Sa - t fire to it, . After the ddressing me is remark- FS , UTR neighbors gathered to: able, inasmuch as your . 5 . a js ‘ gether and threw sour F ‘ou to more » 0 . whey and water upon the tion.” 124 Nf 4 y burning barn, — Willie Masher rapidly disap- : : told his uncle Elijah t pears over rear platform he guessed there amid suppressed but: gen- fun going on eral enthusi His uncle El smile pensi | dusted Willie’s jacket lady on. street)—" Will | } Mh Pa hie 4 with a rake tooth ; he you not allow me to join ANN a ‘ i Ew only said he thought in your walk ? , y L V < 5 there'd be more real, hon- Sur— Certainly, until A a $Ox4 = A est, plain, every I meet a eman.” i iy), 47 of comfort on th A curious and sudden j ‘i : J r ‘ Willie would hie himself change of purpose leads Yf iN)" / cityward, We were glad the masher to turn down J \ e to welcome him back aside street. Noe é with his skinned nose, —_— ‘ f : Dlackened eye and stone THE GREAT EXPERIMENT. . 3 bruises all over his “Dan'l, is’ this the Wovsen emest cre ; 4 heal his cuts and y Marine band ¢ bay A lones “No, your highness; I but when he turned loose sa aie a gold-speckled lizard, a think it is an itinerant babysmiudl - . es aby mud-turtle and a German band. sifu GE deueicaisa “What is it they are L seven uae playing? The air seems fish-worms upon our Seas taniine™ desk we kicked and sent “Twill ascertain, your him off on a Sunday: &eallency.” , school excursion down The colonel started Frep— What time is it by the bay. from behind the desk, | Gus—"I don't know. I've Joe bees Re re Niyselt.” where he had been le ping to the “dogs— ing with graceful case, Riding to hounds. and a few coppers were seen to pass from him A BUSINESS TRAIT. 1 ny of us are told what we ure todo, but to the leader, |. Merrrrr (rapturously)—"! What an interest-| few do what we are told. ing ‘When the Swal-| ing gentleman that is you just introduced me to. He is so kind and sympathetic that he re- His excelleney, musing—"* When we swal-| minded me of what my oldfashioned grandfa- eee they can't get credit, low home-made pie ? There is nothing per-| ther calls a man of feeling.” Many an ante-nuptial agreement has caused is there, Dan'l ?” | SY. ching her brows)—‘ Y |*mtrimontal dmgronme nt. no offence in it, most gracious.” at's ji . s a phrenologist, you It is the woman with the largest organs of “Because Mrs. C. has made her first pie to-| know.” jhearing who can never believe her e: day. I suppose we shall have to eat of it, | A tramp never considers himself well treated Daniel 7” SAYINGS OF MRS, PUGWASH. |until he has had enough to make him drunk. “I fear we shall, sire.” ‘The greedy man often goes hungry. | ees Reports will come in later. Look out for| Mournful numbers—Lottery blan' Prof. Doremus on Tollet Soaps: our extra, FEL Ina ball game a base hit may save nine. 1 You hare demonstrated that a PERYECILY pure soap may be maite.” I, therefore, cordially commend to laties and to the com = oT haw’alwave ing questi Muinliy (x penceal ihe omplobmentof your pure’ Let Belle! tote Hell has always been a burning question, _| Rwinly ta general ihe cmnloument of wos In this world the dollar is mightier than the) The more alcohol there is in a patent medi-| sete, Htoatans “La BaLLe ™ Roogory TorLsr Sosy, A ; ing. made from cholcest tock, with percentage ot truth. cine the better it sells. Giiceantsn is epccialy sdapted Tor Tollet, Dathvand Infante se H, 8. ER, pme men pay cash, not from honesty, but comicbooks.com