Judge — July 31, 1886 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. Judge’s Charge. Warner Miller and John Ingalls must not quarrel over the dairy question, Let ushave no sweet Republican milk curdled and out of churn, There could be only one enactment worse than the one expelling the French princes from France. We allude to the contemplated law obliging certain persons to live there. Perhaps the punishment of Jacob Sharp will not be long delayed. This is not to say that the court puts any faith in Mr. Martine, but it observes that on his last birth-day Mr. Sharp was sixty-nine years old. If it is true, as alleged, that Gail Hamilton will go-to Chicago asa rival of Miss Cleveland, the court will immediately proceed to cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war. ‘The janitor will at once relieve the animals of their muzzles, The Tribune tells of a bolt of lightning that roasted chickens by hundreds and at the same time separated a pair of lovers. The latter were evidently no chickens ; otherwise they would have stuck to the roost and been roasted too. Sir Charles Dilke says he didn’t and Mrs. Crawford says she knows better. This wide diversity of opinion on the part of the investi- gating committee emphasizes anew the fact that there is nothing certain in this world but its uncertainty. This administration is not afraid of Canada, and it does have respect for our flag. It isa little annoying to submit to things which every other nation would resent, and the damage done to our fishermen is large ; but we must re- member that the weather is warm, and besides there are assurances that the government is really beginning to feel uneasy. Four gentlemen of the house of representa- tives have devoted some of the public's time to calling one another liars, blackguards and per- jurers, and one of them struck another a blow in the face that drew blood. In the interest of public economy this sort of thing must be stopped. Time is money—the court refers not to the silver dollar, but to le; rency—and it must not be wasted in that way. If these gentlemen want to fight let them do it at the close of the session and at their own ex- pense. The governor of Utah in issuing a procla- mation against the Mormons has filled along felt want. Everything but proclamating and military force has been tried and still polygamy flourishes ; and scarcely a week passes that doesn't witness the arrival in this city of several hundred new converts to the peculiar Utah in-| will hardly serve the spirit of that gentleman stitution. We must proclamate more. What/on the other side. Fancy general orders ring- is needed is words. It is thought by some to] ing through the purpled glory of the celestial be necessary to shoot, and the wisdom at Wash-| mansions,“ Put none but native Canaanites ington has selected the mouth as the appropri-}on guard !” and think of a general enact- ate medium for that destructive explosiveness. | ment driving beyond the gates all parties not to the heavenly manor born, The court hasn't the slighest doubt that the quick-witted, white-hatted spectre alluded to will be equal p jto the occasion, rapidly tracing his blood may have been a scar or twothrown in a8 Fe-|hack to Adam and as much further ag may sult of convivial recklessness and generous af-| } necessary «but the situation must inevin fection for the miscellaneous woman, but the) a1y be embarrassing for a few moments, court hasn't counted them. And he never ap-| ee plied for a pension. He said he didn’t want to| The court is pained to observe, by a hasty be a government pauper. It sounds well, but| Perusal of the World, that Mr. Dorsheimer he never meant the world to take the declara-| of the Star is a bilk. If there is a bachelor tion as the world will. To be a pensioner is to) Of journalism present will he kindly deliver wear the only decoration provided for by this| himself of a few tears? We do not know government. It isa mark of honor. It is a, howlong Mr. Dorsheimer has had this trouble, declaration of gratitude for services which can|#"d can only hope that it is not one of the never be entirely requited in dollars and cents, | hereditary kind. And how, by the way, are No man would say this with more fervency| Mr. Jachne and the afflicted gentlemen of than the brave, generous, big-hearted fellow of | the other papers getting ont whom the court speaks ; but there has come a ere to be a sort of contempt for the badge of! TER NEL PEE honor worn by the veteran, as a result per-| _ Nothing is so little understood as men’s mo- haps of the president's contemptuous treat-| tives ; but there is nothing which the average ment of him in his famous vetoes, The vet-| itdividual pretends to understand half as much, eran used tO be regarded as a man worthy; It would seem to be a matter of mercy, if of much respect. Shall we look upon him men and women must have eggs thrown at presently as an abomination, a nuisance, aj them, to select those that are pure. pauper? Let us take care that we are not) stance, some of the m brought to shame by the meanest of all| avengers’ hands. ingratitude. The know-nothingism of which the late Ned Buntline was once a leading exponent wounds with him to his grave, and they were received in the service of his country. There For in- les might break in the the Christian Union—“to be unselfish, to obey reason, and to love beauty.” It isalarge portion of it, or rather it will be just as soon as it is de- cided precisely what reason whose reason you shall obey. The death of a member of con gress is always to be regretted. It costs the country a lamentably large amount of money and a melancholy delay in public bus- iness. Regret is always in order, but the truly eco- nomical will never go into it with reck- less extravagance. The other day during a warm dis- cussion somebody said to Ignatius j Donnelly, “Sir, |you’re no Demo- jerat.” Instead of getting upand pro- fusely thanking his ‘opponent for the |compliment, Mr. Donnelly retired to | the back of a large chair and shed his false tecth and a number of tears. The worse you treat a man in this world the more he | will respect you. |. “This is the whole of righteousness,” says ALL IN THE BILL. Crty poarpER—‘* What in thunder is that for?” Fanwer— Wall, yew see it might rain to-night—and we don't charge anything for the use of it, yew know !” comicbooks.com