Judge — July 10, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. 7 A GREAT REDUCTION. ProprieTor—“ Get off those scales ! tramps? “* Jist wait a minit, boss. I'm goin’ to take a bath in a little n’ I'd like to see how much it will reduce my weight.” They're not put there for act from her new play, and added a sealskin sack for the winter months. Anderson's brother, Texas steers and his health round a western ranch for a living, says he doesn’t think will ever marry, but that she affects elderly men, men who have go! through the sawmill of e perience and come out bald- headed and cynical, men whose youthful passions for the gilded burlesques of life have given way to the soul- ful yearnings of intellect and the wisdom of advanc- ing years. Mary may be a real nice, good-looking who claimed to be a Previous Husband. The later Husband said he thought the man was much Too Previous and sought an Explana- tion of his Blushing Bride. ‘It's extremely Awkward just at this time, but he’s a Little Fellow and you can y Knock Him Out,” said the Bride, with a Smile as if she had Solved a Vexatious Problem. been Ferguson—he’s six feet high and has Broad Shoulde: “ Zounds !” exclaimed the Bridegroom, ‘are there any More of Them ?” “Only five or six,” said the Blushing Bride, “but Fortuna ately they are in Fore.gn Coun: | tries.” “Madame !” exclaimed the Happy Man in Passionate Tones, “I leave you at Once and Forever.” ‘Dear, de ejacu- lated the Act “Tm Sorry we are Wedded. You Unreasonable Man! To think that you should be captious About a Little Thing like that !" Moral—We should under- stand Mathem: ry rls of Matrimony. On and Off. the Stage. Now that Miss Fortescue has set the fashion, we suppose the measles as an advertising me- dium will run through the whole dramatic fraternity. This would not only be childish but ras The New York girl is as wonderfully and feaetal y fickle as she is made. It was but rv the day before, that all her atten- ions were concentrated upon the nimble nd the statuesque Kyrle Bellew. day Richard Mansfield has the floor. What norrow will bring forth is a pretty diffi- | cult thing to prophecy. *“ Erminie ” Hen at the Casino, at Wallack’s and the 1 ng The music of the latter is very Latest European Intelligence : The mother of Miss on her American tour, as will Iso the mumps. Mr. Bilson Warrett, a ough seriously stabbed in the arm, will bring his arm along | with him as a prominent feature of “ Flyto.” Miss Lydia Thompson will appear next cason in a new suit of South American “ Now if it had | s before we Encounter the “The Crowing | Ww opera, ** The Maid of Belleville,” at the Star are all draw good houses. pretty and it will no doubt prove the next victim of the messenger boy’s calliopic whistle. | Gaskins ie Corkscrew will accompany her | girl, a girl built strictly ac- cording to contract, with Jots of mortar, al) | the modern conveniences, a French cook on the ground floprand a messenger call in the back yard, we'd rather go to Africa and dry up} with the country than tack our young exist- ence and that of our stepfather to the tail end of a man’s life just because he had grown wise in being over-fooli Education has been widely diffused among the Modoc Indians of late years. Nearly every able-bodied brave in the tribe now is a well red man CHINESE PROVERBS. are danger- hottest toast. cold by stand- Butter your bread on both sides lest in your old age you should go short of either, The gloss of a man’s mannersare often like that on hisshirt bosom —all on the surface. Happy is the man who can take the rough with thesmooth —the strong 1 n with the fine pearl gunpowder. OTTO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE | RuBENs—* See here Hawkins, your friend Buffalo has grossly insulted me. I swear I'll not stand it” —" My dear a what has he Me Ruess—* Why, he y called me a Hawkins—“He did? Oh, well, I say, Rubens, I wouldn't no- tice it if I were you. Miss B.—** Wh De J. freckles and the smile she! wore last year....... Mrs. | Wangtry has cut out one; present chasing | right; but if we were a girl, | You nee the calves slip around so that oing forwards or backw: Just consider fora moment where the fellow’s from.” bog LABOR OMNIA VINCIT, “ Lwould have you be ambitious,” She raid in tones delicious. “The stars stoop not to mortals, so you must seek the stant. ‘Mount fortune's dizzy ladder; | What could make my heart grow gladder, Or give you such a warm place in darling old papa's :** Thus she spoke, and one year after, ‘Mid music, dance and laughter, Dy Hymen'storch they wandered to the shore of wedded love, Where in joy-haunted bowers ‘They pass the golden hours, With flowery paths beneath them and sunny skies above. ‘Very simple ts the story Of how he climbed to glory, Of how he won the maiden and the father stern to see. He just pulled himself together, Worked through fair and stormy weather Manufacturing peachblow vases in the state of New Jere. FRANCIS FAIRFAX. AN UNKNOWN CANDIDATE, BaaLey—" Didn't you like Hanford'sspeech at the political meeting last night? I thought it was very forcible.” Baiey—t Yes, it was; but Hanford brought up a new name I had never heard mentioned for « Why, he went on ina long harangue, and after giving Scott a regular shaking up said, ‘Ergo, he's not the man we want.’ Now who the deuce is Ergo?” | Bao That's what I'd like to know.” OUR EQUALITY. Boorp.ack—“ Shine ‘em uppa?’ MikE—“Shine ‘em up, is it? Faith an’ it’s a foine counthry, Ameriky, where an Oirishman can have his boots blacked by a gintleman wid gould rings in his cars, A LITTLE MIXED. Wee De Jonrs—** Well, Miss Brown, I don't think I'll play any more?” can’t tell whether us ards, you know, by jove comicbooks.com