Judge — June 12, 1886 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. life. There can’t be anything new in her arti- cle, however, Everybody knows that they began without a shirt to their backs, It has been evident many times that if the oil market is ever to hold its own it must be copper-bottomed, Alfonso XIII, of Spain is every bit as tem- perate as J. Sharp—more so, indeed, for he cannot hold so much of it. When Jachne was asked how he felt when he stood up to be sentenced he said he didn't feel at all—it was simply a case of grin and Barrett. The nude man who tried to pose as a statue intl apitol at Washington ought to have known that there was no statue for his case made and provided. The Norristown Herald announces the pres- ence of a Christian spirit in the local salvation army. That's all the Herald knows about matters. It's merely a new crack in the ‘There was one paragraph in ‘ Clara Belle's” last letter which did not suggest sexual impro- priety, and when the writer read it she got out of her coffin and wept profusely all over the cemetery. _ Recently a Buffalo man was adjudged sane after a careful examination, and he immedi- ately burst into tears and said the world was down on him. This ought to have been evi- dence enough that the verdict was wrong, and yet they hanged him the very next day. It is N. C. Goodwin's opinion that the first thing necessary to success in base ball is to kill the umpire; but the latter thinks that the open ng proceeding should be the murder of N. C. Goodwin. Death in Indi. a pretty serious matter. | There are six million widows there who are not permitted to marry again, and there is nothing soothing for all that anguish. It is said that Abraham Lincoln was the first president of the United States to wear whiskers. In other words, we suppose, what- ever may have become of young Bob, he was | the first president to have the heir apparent. The editor of the Buffalo Express is ingenu- ‘ous and truthful to the verge of recklessness. | He frankly confesses that hanging is a whole- |some remedy for certain grave evils, and ye' though he might get into Canada in ten min- utes, courageously holds his ground. Some Swiss girls employed in a Connecticut silk factory have struck against the employ ment of American girls in the establishment. ould get upa flag bearing the legend merica for the Swiss—Put none but pretty Swiss girls on guard.” A servant girl in Yahoo is very much in- |censed because she wasn’t remembered in the river-and-harbor-bill. She claims for her dish- water far more importance than belongs to many of the mythical streams that have been so distinguished, and she is right too, There was great sorrow in Boston recently because an authority pronounced the place the wickedest in the world. do # said one agitated citizen, wringing his ‘hands. ‘Do ?” said another agitated citizen, buttoning his lips firmly over set teeth, IN HA! Y Tramp—* Yer can't trust to appearances now-a- stuck me on a Waterbury watch.” RD LUCK. yyy “What shall we} By young man, who at present. occupies a position somewhat difficult to sustain with dig- ity, a chance to rise in the world, or get on his feet agi why pitch into the southern confederacy | like bloody blazes.” Roll back the eventful years of a quarter of a-century and listen again to the boom of the cannon that sullenly struck the hour when grim-visaged war reared his grisly head in the midst of a peace-loving people.—Dansville Advertiser. Here, you reckless thing ! stop that. Deco- rate, but don’t roll. Good heavens! do you want to provoke another draft ? A LITTLE AMBIGUOUS. <UT (philosophically e men are not suc most people would have . Merritt ‘(disgusted)—‘ 's arrant non- sense, you old fool. What are you trying to get through you, anyhow ¢” OLp CHESTNUT (unconcerned)—"* It is justas Isay. Most of them are candid enough to inform the public that their nostrums are ‘skin’ cures.” SIZING HIM UP. HARAsseED DEBTOR (accidentally meeting a creditor in the street) — my dear sir, I have intended several times to drop in on you and pay my respects, but Crepitor (indignantly)—"*Hum ! I guess that’s about all you ever do pay.” ROBBED OF ITS POETRY. LITTLE JoHNNIE (inquisitively)—“‘ Say, pa, what did Mr. Merritt mean last night when he spoke to Cora about the ‘fabric of a dream’?” Brown (impatiently)—'‘ Mince pie, my boy— mince pié.” Boat races are coming into market early this summer. Several will be offered for sale this -days, That gentlemanly looking cuss has just month. comicbooks.com