Judge — June 5, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

rad nee ike t is on ys ive he ib at m patent of mine to the trade. “On the broad avenue T used to walk, y'know, Pwoud, for my blood was blue, Lofty my collah. Pwoud of my awkward gait, Pwoud of my ‘ banger's’ w Little I dreamed my fate Would be dishonah. “ Often the messenger Bore bwight bouquets to her Who, in the theatre, Our eyes attwacted. Bright was my life and gay— Until one fatal day My joys were swept away, Dark deeds enacted. Speak, speak ! thou dainty blade Who, with thy form arrayed In garments London-made, Standest before me; Who dost no moustache twirl, But, with thy bang in curl. Seemest an ailing girl— Why dost thou bore me? Then from those cane-kissed lips Came sundry Gotham “ tips,” Showing the mind’s eclipse Was only partial ; Giving its cane a swing, Thus spoke the gentle thing, ‘Trying its lisp to bring To accents martial : “I joined the sex of swells Who used to dine at Del's ; Often the morning bells Wang ere we pawted ; Often the stone-paved stweet Wabbled beneath our feet, While on its iron seat ‘The lamp-post tottahed. “From a far up-town wahd, Disgraced by bribe and fraud, To the aldermanic board Pah was elected. Cold was the bweeze that blew Down the bwod avenue ; For from the lordly crew Twas ejected. “ As on the wings of fear Sails the fleet bank cashier, Seeking to amble clear * Of the detectives, So to the north afah Fled my poor exiled pah, Filling the palace-cah With his invectives. “ Shrinking with fear and shame, I crept behind my cane; Hateful to me were men, The sunlight hateful. In a hole, grim to see, I crawled dejectedly ; Pulled the hole after me ; Oh, death was gwateful!” MORE OR LESS LITERARY. _ ‘ Household Remedies,” by Dr. Felix Oswald, pub- lished by Fowler & Wells, treats of most of the dis- eases to which the human flesh is heir, and nobody should feel himself in health or able to keep house without it. Oddly enough, however, the doc- tor gives no cure for mugwumpery. This is an omis- sion so obviously fatal that nothing can redeem it. _ Fowler & Wells send out ‘‘ Foreordained,” which is a story of heredity and special parental influences. The story pas the foreordination doctrine on practi- cal ground, holding that it is possible for the parent CONSOLATORY. Cottmxs—“ Are yez hurted, Cassidy?” Cassipy—‘* Oi tink Oi am, John!" CoLiins—‘* We'll wait till th’ ambhulince kims an’ be gobs we'll be shore av it!” to ordain good rather than evil. It is a good book, but it must necessarily be rather startling to such persons as believe that blood cannot tell if it is fore- ordained that it shall keep silence. 2 A POOR INVENTION. —“Pm Caprrauist (quizzically) rohii looking for a moneyed man to introduce this new intended for ladies, and I call it the prohibition corset.” tion corset! "What do you mean by that?” I. ©. (facetiously)— The name is intended as a little joke. This article does away with the injurious effects of lacing, so CapIraList (disgusted)—‘* Pshaw! ‘ou see it can never become tight.” The thing isno good; for if it can't be made tight Leander Richardson's book, from the press of Doyle & Whittle, Boston, ‘‘ The Dark City,” is devoted not to Pittsburg, as may at first be imagined, but to Lon- don, and its descriptions of the men, women and things to be seen there are delightfully written, at the same time that they give the views of a careful observer. In fact, after reading Mr. Richardson's book one feels as if a flood of light had been thrown upon the obscuration. “Lovers Four and Maidens Five,” by Julius |Chambers, comes from Porter & Coates of Philadel- phia, It isa story of the Allegheny mountains, and 1s chiefly located at Cresson Springs, a prominent summer resort on the line of the Pennsylvania rail- road company. The title suggests a wall-flower, but the flower is sufficiently influential to get the entire party into a great deal of trouble and confusion. The story is admirably illustrated by J. B. Sword—who, however, is not mightier than the pen of Mr. Cham- bers—and F. C. Schell. The Cosmopolitan, the new Rochester monthly, has the assurance, notwithstanding its rural origin, to look and act just as if it had come to stay.. The May number has a story by Harriet Prescott Spofford, a valuable article on the silver question by Edward G. Bourne, ‘‘ Glimpses of Messina, Italy,” by L. B. Pratt, an exceedingly well-written and thoughtful illustrated article by Viola Roseborough on the children’s industrial exhibition in this city, a charm- ing poem by May Riley Smith, and a general va- the women will all agree that it can never go on the bust.” riety of interesting matter. comicbooks.com