Judge — May 15, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE. 5 DOUBTFUL TIMES IN NEW YORK. i | Roscoe Conkling in return for professional ser- : ‘ ‘ vices. If we couldn't tell a better lie than that oak ql IRWARE H 2WR LR we should struggle hard to tell the truth. HH | 1 George Washington is postmaster at Bay City, Mich., and when the young women of the place fail to get the letters they are looking for they remark emphatically that what they want is a chip from his tomb. Wy Peri er re INP? © Garland says his chief occupations have been law and poker, but that he has lost money at the latter. If the poker was of the pan- electric kind he has lost character by it too; anyhow he doesn’t appear to have anything of that kind about him now. A Methodist Episcopal conference in this state has adopted a resolution requesting its bishop to make no man who chews tobacco a ding elder. Whether the bishop is bigoted too is not known, but if he is there are going to be some pretty bad presiding elders. In Kansas, the otherday, they hanged aman to the pommel of a saddle on a fractious horse and then frightened the horse and let him go. The animal ran five miles, and the man was NEW OFFICER (who has bees told to look pat tor suspicions persons, to ne Dr. —, Grand| probably the worst pommeled man that ever Worthy Secretary of the Amalgamated Crime and. Riot Squashing Society)—"Shure ‘ut ain't the| roy. air er valealh shiyle av yure clothes, naither is ut them goggles that gives yez away ; its th’ decaitful luk yez has lied. And he wasn’t guilty of horse-stealing oe ote en gave thst ows or Gtlros seein tt cither—he had merely murdered a woman, +Goonnin- | — — — Pastor Hawthorne of Richmond, Va., has iH he S that he has had a narrow escape from death by |been threatened by the editor of the State Matt of the Court. {a colorado snowslide. with personal violence because he favors pro- a There are 124 button factories in this coun-|Hibition. He says he is not a fighting man try, and yet the married man requires at Ieast|4%d does not want to hurt anybody; but he four safety-pins for the proper completion of adds, ‘* There is not salt enough in the Atlantic Miss Fortescue may not be a great actress, | his toilet every mornin; conan 10 ae cee who puts his aude on but she ne isses the last syllable of her a ty, ‘ me: 2) WOU TAKS & MARNYINg Blass ein bul = BETER miece tn y Somebody acquainted with the subject says! would magnify a hundred thousand times to name. he never knew an Indian man to kissan Indian | see what is left of him.” Oh, come now, Pas- The man on the top floor who plays the| woman. No wonder it is impossible to civilize|tor Hawthorne! Fight fair and none of your trombone really seems to think his music| the miserable barbarians. upper-attic, Grecian war-cry~Wait till Oi sphit on me hands, |miracles, _ Epaulettes will soon be dismissed from the THE DOCTOR'S BILL. French army, and we dare say the time will ¢ a ie come when the French soldier will go into be ea ane aes Sar | " pe ‘The doctor sent his bill ; battle in a plug hat and dress coat. Month after month went over | Two of the White mountain hotels have de- But found it owing still. cided not to have student waiters thissummer; so we suppose the meals to be had at them will Talmage says there is more hard work in| be in one language and without italics. heaven than there is here. It seems to us, ac- cordingly, that life is worth living after all. It seems to us that the senate should call for the documents leading up to the appointment of Miss Folsom, _ There has heretofore been no question as to Emma Abbott's morals, but they say she is . going to pass the summer in Chicago. At last a note was sent him, = Whose sense you may discern : “T'll pay you for your medicines, The Star intimates that the World puffs Nour vii Ty return? © BIRDEE TE: Sunflowers are grown for fuel in Wyoming. | A DETERMINED STAND. There was a proposition to utilize Chinamen | , for the purpose, but the sunflowers are best. The Buffalo Express kindly admits that New York is not as bad as was Rome in the age of Nero, and we haven't been so happy in three months, We observe, for instance, that Rutherford is to write an article on education for one of the azines. Captain Boycott has boycotted Ireland, hav- ing moved to England, where he belonged. | Th the most I mate of all 4he boycotts ever known. e and learn to cook,” Kate Field to the women of the period. A capital idea. When does Miss Field propose to commence? | “The tenor,” says a musical authority, “is invariably an idiot.” Not invariably, we think. He has his rational periods—when he has a bad cold for instance. Theodore Tilton, who else had perished from| «Guess dis one doan’ b'long tah us. Jest tickul his feet a little, Zekel. ‘n see's he won’ go foh the earth, is revived for a moment. It seems tah leggo.” comicbooks.com