Judge — April 3, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE. | How d’yer sell poison 7 It depends upon the kind of po sive you a small one ounce for one dollar.” Trame— Duvacist you want. 1 gentlemen who speak thou and conducts himself as a gentle JUDGE. e from the southwest to with very earnest but thoroughly ghtless contempt of the man who dresses an should. The coarser cowbe for we | seen cows} boys who were as gentle in thought and ac- tion as if they had been veritable Henry | in theirtreatment of cattle, and of men a habit of thinking that vulgarity and brutality is courage; but 1 sufficient appreciation of the uutes—probably a result of flood of slush literature in celebration of ssumed excellence—to blubber like a sick child over a soft passage illustrative of a ruf. for misfortune which a gentleman ve with a few dollars and drop im: mediately from his undemonstrative mind. Thee is the emotional chap wl most things worthy of notice merely for effect—and we suppose Sam Jones, who may his fian’s pit would re boy does bottle of a very good kin Oh, nsiv me off, Tdon't want none of tiuck. Gimme a nickle’s worth of sison: yer see I just want ter « Tram your ex] mon rat Suster sumptuousness further down are natur- alness which comes from the uttermost of wisdom. It is a ®oman’s right to look pretty. It is her best endowment to be herself. If it is a matter of va is wise—w shall split no words woman; and a pretty woman well dressed and knowing her charms—which no ill-dressed or naturally dowdy woman possibl especially as the lat est thing on earth, sinful or y she be so continually, ‘one and indi Mr. Webste fulness of her beauty if we may be permitted a reference to the phil osophy of Father Alcott, being the best means to universal redemption. ! Let us have the Easter bonnet in all its re nce. Let us have the Easter beauty in shape it may choose to take, Let us ! the bonnet and the dress, the only question being as to the taste of the gentle sinfulness which occupies them and the quality of the ' sinful eyes which shine out between the sin } ful ribbons. Go your thousand ways, sweet sinners! Behold there all mankind will fol- low you, and if you lead finally to the wrong place because of your little vanity verily there shall be no other because of the sinful failure of the heavenly opposition to have your sinful presence. none—is t sweet otherwise, and uv ‘ SOME PALLACIES OF § The last talk of t Rev. Sam Jones in Chicago was made exclusively to girls, of whom forty-five hundred are said to hav Mr. Jones spoke bitterly fumed young men and sy ged dudes. He 1 he didn’t believ exquisite dancer } or the man who wore perfect pants, and as for the man who parted his hair in the middle he hated him. And then he said Lam in love with the wool-hat and jeans- pants boy. He starts at th ars a month, sticks to business till he gets a thousand ay be junior partner, then senior partner, and finally owns the whole block where he does business. You ish girls do not like him. Well, he likes you just as well, for when he wanted a wife he went back to his country h AM JON been present. of per. residence these wool re of you It is the custom of certain well-meaning never have been a cowboy, has the utmost re ant for him, He is the chief representative of Mr, Jones’s idea of religious Jeffersonian simplicity. | Now it does no harm for rent] a man to be al an. If he have spider legs the Al- is responsible for that. If he is gentl in his treatment of ladies and his de- increase their comfort and pleasure he is not necessarily a dude, If he part his hair! in the midd! at is probably akness; but there is hair which will properly part nowhere else, as there is an absence of hair which parts | itself all over the top of the head. eyeglasses when his sight is perfect that is to sted; but how much kness than that of the mi: which goes drunk with eve manly sire t x ose is wea able nobi ty y opportunity anc shoots at sight; whose main purpose it is te die with its boots but which becomes maudlin over verses in celebration of its pure! maudlin sentiment; which kills its man in a dispute at cards, and weeps the next moment nted rot that ought to suffuse the fa with the blush of unending Mr. Sam Jones has evidently studied the unconsidered platitudes of the older revivalists to very poor purpose. He absorbs it without able dry-goods establishment His good appearance is a part of his commercial capital, and if he wishes to get himself above the drudgery of the cellar or the truck he must make himself presentable to the men and the customers whose servant he The dignity of savagery requires th: |man shall go naked as far as the prevailing weather will permit, always excepting the| color and grease which sa y tolerates in deference to prejudice in behalf of ornament; but civilization really means good dress, good | manners, deference one man for another and jall men for all women, and such regard for jeustom that no man will make himself con- spicuous by disregarding it. days. The Rochester Post-Express says morphine Jand canned fruits are hanging scalps at th belts every hour, That's just all they know | The person or thing that doesn't know enough to carry a scalp on the top of the head is guilty | of a great waste of terial. press suggests the raising of cold tea. Bu in some respects a very | cold place; but, speaking y, the people of the place are given to the raising of some- If he wear |* his| 4 | the privilege of healthy digestion. The wool: |! hat and the blue-jeans boy could not stay in three | 4 thing of a radically opposite nature. Awake, Tea Now unconfine cloud of fh see its fairy shape. es in my dreams with g1 . it charms: cy white ‘tis aln f in love has a dimple set Lined with the A pek whose With rose and lily; or lips cl These charms are powerful, Tn But one to me more potent I M ry shape. k prince wl ainty shoo ay shape in all its bea' witchery could not re Ta king, with undispute My crown and honors at this f cin Its native x i i But wh another fo njures up a wi ‘A spectre whose foul aim you Her father’s boot ! ams with grat thing fitted with power me * raceful sweep non, amid ost hid. veined and clear: is imbued rry-hued, confess; dress: Asleep, ful sw nderella s¢ uty and withstand, x1 sway, foot Td lay well can guess: | JAMES A. WALDRON. comicbooks.com