Judge — March 6, 1886 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGK. THE DELIGHTS OF A HANSOM CAB. \| 3. You pick yourself up, and, We street, i* Two cabbies drive up, splash two-twos,” to tip the over your feet you're down on all fours. usual ten cents k'lection toe defray y dar er a convention allus takes a hits dis ch tumet dat do: know wat contumetiousn means. Hit means lyin’ about a pusson, A lie ull puttin’ on hits boots, an’ [’spec’ dar a’n't mo" en fo" xpenses. Fuddal h dat hab usness. 1 ‘spec er so los’ toe shame datdey usyally ste undah dair pews toe fin’ dair plate am passed—ull spen’ de night in dis buildin’ ef dey doan’ shell out.” D ni that hy sided at his christening, and circulated | trabble fo" miles wile de truf ar y exemplitied the wis five pussons in dis awjen t ha'n't lied congregation with great activity about me fastaly en a hoss kin trot durin’ de rusty two-quart basin. The pastor " las’ week. T an appropriate accompaniment by drununir The Reverend Jidl. by Deacon Goliath I exclaimed * Hold on, sah,” and was about to speak; but the pastor seized the key it as ¢ sk soy that the deacon sat down, the ntly with the person in the on the desk signitic the collection, Ev went into his pocket to some purp hi Itened than hurt Alacrity retur ph was here interrupted lock, who rose excitedly key during and using k, who orously | 5. Down, Scwrared throu emed more led out with at least three: wn with the window!" y the trap. rl pounded the « hisarm like a pantomimist and appealed in, Andquickerthan thought comes the final mishap. | pints of penitence in that basin, its mixture be intense whispers to those who sat near him ing made up of everythi nadollar bill to Quiet was soon restored, however, and the an old-fashioned three cent piece, preacher continued: “Ez wunner de poets much little money, postage stamps, remarks, he w'o steals my pocket-book steals a coin, collar-buttons, several pok empty utensil; but he w’o robs me ob my good one ny: there was not a thin: sortment that was not th a name takes all Lis got an’ gits suffin avertible t sell er pawn. Now, my Ih y tink Tis ‘usin stron, alis, yo" language, but bad Yo" nebber heal anoddah an’ s. Yo" inus joes an’ bomb n hie ¢ pulpit it with the e: on the ly placed the basin on the i inte hy 0 cases need pow'ful med’e: verend Jidlaph yl n’ toe wah w ob one king fa speculator who hi fthe market, and said: 1 bruddern an’ sistern, d toe mix a little ‘one wid hitsdoin’s. Da ahmin his troops wid po it side wall wid t aman is meet powdah i is glad toe shells. = W doctah doon’ gib um med'cine fo’ small-pox de church propose n’* De eb Joblnsing ull onlock de JAMES A, WALDRON. | Wiile we jine in sing ah,” Brudder enny mo'en he‘ud gib um a wien ‘is leg needed cuttin’ pow'ful sick co an’ [is been eal f wshen, kin’ spi Lin toe doctah y Sam Jones says the ney that is spent on | pew-rents ought to go to the pastor that | if he were a layman he would rent the best Y need bettah en yo" di wine toe write de perscription. Lawd war toe treat ebery liah in dis chu’eh ez id Ananias, hit ud tak ndays fo" toe preach d by sin Jones will keep on with his break ing of precedent until a heretic as C due season he will piteh six months ob 1 p yo’ po’ sinnahs ners becomes as pro jonel Ingersoll. In he ten nd his con toe wuck an’ ‘our head is min noun it on de ri off my coat an’ rollup my: sleebes an’ club befo' yo! fin’ out dat yo" er all got tr tickets toe destruction wid no stop-ovah checks. ht road; but [ ‘spec’ IT mus’ but wh nd useful 1am: ments and then he will vone. supition Ldidn’ ‘spishen dat I war runnin’ all de resks came from various parts of the church, while onge Q. Cannon jumped from a moving dat makes hit so haad toe git ainsu'ance pol'ey the whites of tl train to getaway from the sheriff who had on de life ob a missiona’y, but I shall stick | with somethi ne interest. "1! him in cha broke his nose, A man \ 4 yer fiel’ toe leal “nut crop wuth hd hontwell T de thistles outen dis | de rend Jidlaph, | who has lived a lo ample ob ad with eight or ten mn; but if he & pe ny ob yo" wives is necessarily al stin’. Yo" | “dat de Lawd mak uy i | can't scare er budge me, my heahahs, De | dat n’ roun’ backbitin’ an’ refuse toe | doesn't: know better than to jump so as to f debil er got a barbed-wiah fence roun' dis yer | pay y lebts, but lightnin’ strikes wha’ | strike on his nose he had far better be a coward. : cong’ashen, but befo' I leab 5 iel’s green | an’ wen we leas’ ‘spec’, an’ dar may be a | | an’ paschers new ['spec’ yo" ull ‘clade dat hit wa'nin’ heah dis mawnin’, Deacon Alacrity | It is announced that there will be no ice | er bettah toe be grain inde heabenly bin dan ull now pass de plate, an’ any pusson | famine. It was our impression a few weeks kin'lin’ wood in de back yaa gib suflin’ runs a terri- | ago that the ice had been frozen to death | This su; | fy along with the peaches and oranges. } : comicbooks.com