Judge, 1886-02-27 · page 5 of 16
Judge — February 27, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a humorous poem titled "'Twas Ever Thus" mocking a well-dressed gentleman whose only complaint is that his trousers bag at the knees—a trivial tailoring problem that undermines his otherwise perfect appearance and romantic prospects. The satirical point is that even those with wealth, friends, and romantic success can obsess over minor imperfections. The accompanying cartoon "An Ounce of Prevention, Etc." shows an insurance agent pitching life insurance to an Irishman, with the agent noting he has "one foot in the grave already," suggesting the man's poor health or occupation makes him an unsuitable insurance risk—a dark joke about the insurance industry's cherry-picking of clients. The "Judge's Letter-Box" section contains satirical responses to reader questions, offering absurd or contradictory advice on relationships, domestic matters, and public figures, typical of the magazine's humor style. The references to "Grover" (likely President Cleveland) and dining customs reflect late 19th-century social concerns.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGK. “"TWAS EVER THUS- H, sweet is the song of the birds in the spring, And the first peeping forth of the buds; And as sweet as the birds when they sweetliest Isa sing girl in her be: Sunday dud And sweet are the air, the sunshine, the sky, Fat bargains nd corpulent fees; Yet often I've thought 'twould be petter to die, For my trousers all bag at the knees. I am loved by a dear and demure Whe nse papa has both ducats And everything's looking excee¢ For his lighting quite speedily ingly well out. Thave friends without number, and jolly ones Tm too; invited to dinners and te: But still, notwithstanding, I'm fearfully blue, For my trousers all bag at the knees. In bi That tl Caps the climax of nj right patent. he hat on 1 > What boots it my tapering pedals forsooth in unquestionable truth thes and grac That my coat knocks the spots (it had ma Out For there’ While trousers all bag at the knees. Old Adam, I trow, was a right lucky chap, I wish I had half such a show; He xinly hada most copious snap On mundane affairs, don't you know ? No mother-in-law with an eye full of No gas-bills, and blessings like these But the greatest of all—ah, rare blessing ! he wot No trousers to bag at the knees, know) of Joseph's prismatic ° | And in | We shall “ promenade shore, All clothed in our Will these Or, as earthly ones Will the tails of the coat endless delight ! 1" on the bright golden by degrees wrinkle up w And the trousers bay out at the knees ~~ THH JUDGE'S LETTER-BOX. Sadie Martinot—Return, dear child, and all will be forgiven Maud Miller—The fact that the gentleman doesn’t have family devotions doesn’t consti tute a cause f and again it doesn’t operate with regard to the selection of the im pending man. A you control is precisely what the country needs. And froma recent conversation with judge that that gentleman thinks so Housewife—Brandy is well enough in mince pie, perhaps, but there are persons whose indi- | gestion requires that it be taken with merely a little water. And, afterall, why build such immense surroundings for the accommodation of so little beverage? Jane—The corset is well enough provided it is worn loose. If you might improvise a bon- net from it it would be still better, however. But you say that unless it is drawn tight it does not serve its purpose at all? Oh, well, if that's what you want why don't you hire a man? A. H. Garland—No, Augustus; it is not always the thing to go down with your colors flying, If the colors are those of the pirate it would be far better to strike them, whether you go down or not, There, too, was the man who clung to some ounces of gold when he might have been saved by ing out for a straw. He saved the gold, but as he was drowned it wasn’t worth a cent to him. Lydia Thompson—You say it is incontro- vertible that a thing of beauty isa joy forever. Well, that is so as far as memory is concerned, a sentiment rather than a TrisHMaN—* Och, sur out ov it.” Want to get your life insured | | Still th woman, Some things of beauty remai for a portion of that time, but you can take them to your arms and as if you had somethir Phat is the worm that stingeth. re are exceptions. Look at that little ggie Mitchell, land—You think that in di » Jeffersonian principle Gro rs had better be simplified? Perha For instance, id of fourte and se kinds of wine Grover had » fourteen kinds of wis nd seven But then, young lady, he would be more splendidly simple if he gave no dinners atall, courses, MET THE REQUIREMENTS, “Tsay, Gawge Washin'ton, did yes dow rr when she died, two wee You mean ‘bout berry! vg wid her in de coffin? In Does yer tink I wouldn't? Eh” sho’ dat yer did, Gawge?” Idid jiss de same. 1 hoe de ring an’ put de ticket in de coffin!” Jouy B will represent our chamber proposed inspection of the nd withess, as the guest of M n of the con f the same. In other ow will be in atthe beginning and it would have been. far chamber and he had postponed the de Lesseps, © the ina cluding proceedings” words, Mr. Bi nr better if th visit so as to be in at the funeral. AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION, ETC. Why "that’s the rayson. I ve one foot in the grave now.” me loife insured to kape the other wan comicbooks.com