Judge — December 19, 1885 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE TURKEY’: Oh, fowls in your tlendis! And I would that my ton The thoughts that arise in me. tue could utter O, well for the hen and I ly roost in the hay nt wanted on Chri still strides on e ap on the bill; Crow, crow, crow, Ob, roosters of every degree! But the tender Will never come back to ye. grace of a turkey t A KNIGHT- ERRANT. Winter | Hints. ib your hands into Carry no bot- tles in the hind pockets of your | coat on a Slip: | your girl sucha the old folks up. your girl in a cold room. Do not allow yourself to shiver unless you see a creditor coming. If you have to get up in the mornings and make a fire, don’t do it. Work enongh to get your blood and a lit- tle currency into cireulation, If the wind blows in one the other and let it b Don’t hang around acold night. cast-iron column on You may get a Corinthian | Cold molasses and noses are not alike—cold Always wear a nose- molasses won’t run. Valuable Fat Drivers. MN. HOTIZ INTERVIEWS A COAL DEALER. Twas recently passing a large coal- when my attention was attracted by a re- markable phenomenon, the like of which, I had never before seen. Six loaded I. wagons w waiting the arrival of the werghin , who was temporarily absent from his post. | The horsesattached to these gons were large, sleck-coated aud in good condition, but the driv especially, aroused my wonder. ‘The smallest, even, wonld have been counted as a man of weight in th Fat Men’s Club,” run a good chance clam-bake of that ds would have fa prize at the annual pond ganization. rgest would h ured at very ul beside the mountain human fle pexhibition in several shows exch of which is “The Greatest Cireus | Com! ain the World.” The weigh- ing clerk returned and began to weigh the first wagon, which was already on the plat- form. ‘The driver, rema:ning on the wagon, shovelled off coal with great Vigor and earn- | estness into the box provided for that pur- pose, which was much beyond the size for such a convenience, and several con partments, each of whieh would hold fully a ton of coal, At last the scale tipped slightly and, at a sign from the clerk, the w drivenaway. ‘Thi with cach of the remaining five A NIGHT ERRAND. The drivers, in every vase wagons during the weighing, and when the | last had gone, a one-horse cart came al the driver of which (a particularly lean low) filled it from one of the comp of the * overflow-box,” which full, and carted his load back into the yard. There, by ascending an inclined plane, this return freight was bronght to a point whence it was dumped into the ¢ 1 bin where the supply of this kind was kept. The cart then returned and another com- partment was relieved of a load of its con- tents which was, in like manner, restored t> its proper place. While the weighing was in progress, I noticed that the proprietor of the yard was stood on the fel- riments nearly surveying these proccedings with evident 1a look of exultation on his agon (which was driven by the most corpulent driver) took its turn, cme the key to. the whole situation, The movements of the one-ho: t con- firmed my suspicions, so | stepped up to the proprictor and said in my blindest smile and with my most insinuating ton “Tfow many times a day do you sell those same fut drivers, the price depending upon her they ‘kick the beam’? as chestnut, F or small stove, or furnace?” He started; looked aronnd anxiously and was relieved on seeing that we could not bly be overlooked; seemed undecided us to Whether he should get angry or uo! but thonght it safer to keep his tempe' then said, turning to me: Will you keep my secret if 1 make a i breast of the whole matter?” pos * Certainly,” was my reply. ‘Tama ver ma “That settles it!” said he, his face brighteni trust you 1 know then that I up: can d the weighing clerk. r closin invited as it was me into his e cigars, a y number of which he forced upon me ud future consumption; and having sure that his remarks should have no listeners except the one who had earned a ri to the enjoyment of further revelations, the detected coal dealer his narrative, as follows: Several years ago some envious neigh- ne former customers who were T had sued them for accounts urted the story that I gave Of course, they were wrong ma. for present began hore an angry beean long unpaid, short weight. in their sus} Hore he I¢ at me inguiringly, and I could do no less than say (bat with a irre- pressible wink): “Of course, any doubts of your correct- ness were unjus “Sull they troubled me greatly,” con- tinued the coal dealer; rit is all very pretty to talk about not for unjust accusations, but if people believe them they do fully as mach hart as just on After an made of then to be even hundred so that any much thaught on the subject, Io entirely new set of wag to be uy the same weight and brought up to the next pounds by additional ballast screpaney could here be rectified, process of weighing could be ren- as possible. 1 then had iby "and advertised it in public to come suracy of my new and note the care taken and the expense incurred to secure absolutely honest dealing. Many did come and my eustom was largely increased by this move. My erities took advantage of the open invi- tion to drop in at any. tim terward to see how this matter was managed, but could not detect a flaw in. my em. One d three were on hand, busily engaged in watch- ing the operations of the weighing clerk. ptt t down from the ved with the load with- The driver for ind was we ge from my self appointed in- This enggestedl a now plan. Deo: n to be ashamed of their unjust sus- picions. ‘The tide of public opinion had turned in my favor. ‘The inapection was nearly abandoned. — It had been kept up so long that I became indignant and felt that I * might as well have the as the name.’ The following week occurred the famous driver’s strike, which relieved me, without comicbooks.com