Judge — December 12, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

my dear, this is Mr. Mr. 1, Miss Dimpleton. 1 to me that the young lady fr nature of things could not be the old 1 of anybody, but I didn’tsay so, [simply bowed, ‘simpered ndat » conventional chestnut about Lan And then Miss Rose Madder, the young laly to whom I was indebted for the honor mitted toknow Miss Dimpleton, Miss Dimpleton your y are both so glad to ua says we may. — Josie has na ball match and is dying to go. dear? If Miss Dimp to die—be! pardan—if she is dy wo. T interrupt: ed, “let us st, tones 3 Rose. Iv is halfepast and the game begins at ine vitation, M accept, ant me “G us, Mr. Lang, is it so late We'll put on our things and be down in just one minute. — Com wid the young ladies flitted out room. One minute, five minutes, a quarter of an hour, thirty minutes passed before they re- turned. Josi of the “* Thear their footst scumming I feel their presen " T hommed. “You aro very prompt,ladies. see at least the last four innings, we left th Miss D: interest: “ What does We shall I said, as on looked up and asked with an inning look like, Mr. old dear,” innings isa are several of in each ¢ one ignorant wn , Josie, you Mias Rose int funny look them and ¢ The run another, don’t they Mr. Miss Rose, you have called the—that is it” perfectly. How did you quire so perfect a knowledge of aced rer. vlavers inning to you manage t hy ball “Oh, [saw a game once stand it all, Mr. lin and T under- Lang. Now, Josie, dar- Hil tell you all about it. You see there area lot of players divided into two. sides and these sides try awfully hard to beat each other, and an umpire Quite right, Miss Rose,” [pnt in “ par ticularly the nmpire. Go on, pleas Yes, and an umpire whose duty is an umpire’s duty, Mr. “Tthink, Miss Rose, if to-day's game is like most T ha’ n, we can show Dimpletou. what an umpire is for much bet- we can tell her.” , T think we can. ese And_ then it is | Miss | you | one man te: ball in’ red man who ha Is in blne stoekin v bat—not owl.” mistake. atti —— but L think you I knew it creature that flew at night. Only darling, it isn’t live bats it's only a stick. And the with the bat hits the ball, de Lang?” ary real the Wt he, TT answ And then, dear, the man throws stick at the umpire and runs as fast can towards att inniny Generally he falls flaton it. Bat meanwhile another ma | with a bird cage on his head—he > his complexion, mat Mr ad the she Certainly, Miss Kt ly more I ng than a veil. Yes, Preally think so, And then, dear, vin the bird ¢ tosses the ball to still another player who catches itand then jumps on the back of the poor fellow who has fallen down.” as we T think that’s real ted Miss Dimpleton, “But, listen, dear. The umpire si after that ‘in’ or ‘notin,’ but whatever he says nobody seems to be quite pl the audience calls him herrid names th athim. And Josie, the play- prs act awf they tear his strike him sometimes awfully hard, “Oh, but P shouldn't think that would be nie ar,” Miss Dimpleton s Tdon’t think T shall like base ball, Lang. It can’t be nearly as nice as ten Don't you think tennis is just splendid?” Bat, Josie, darling, the umpire don't pmtomind it at And really it doesn’t appear as horrid as it sounds to tell, But wh umpire mind bet abns mean, me com piu is, doe ce Mr. 1 Well, Mis Rose, I |an umpire isn’t really than an elevated railroad g: must explain that man at all, any more eman is. He al kingdom and on rare ms id from The abuse he one particle he anit nets Tike a irises & populur error. ceives he doesn’t min he is properly trained to at. Hf likes. it, know. An umpir through a long course of preparation, stage being more severe than the pre one. And really, until he is able to act on the plan of a freight car bumper without in- convenience, or sit complacently on the large end of a hemlock stick while it is ing hammered by an ordinary. pile driver his education is not considered complete land he is not permitted to umpire any | rea -class game.” Now, that’s just lovely,” commented Miss Dimpleton, ** But, goon, Rosie, and tell some more. “You haven’t time now, Miss Rose, for in his | clothes and | Mr. | this | | here we are at the grounds.” Although we arrived late we secured good al a girl on each side of me; one sking questions, the other returning mar- vellous answers, and both exclaiming at cach ay made, much to my amusement and Pioube not to that of those sitting in our neighborhood. The girls certainly en- joyel the game immensely and both’ went Into ec at when [announced at the c side they had declared for had e da Said Miss “T knew the men with the striped caps would win,” And [was as sin as I could be they would, and But why nd asked, “why psitive the Kalimazoos would pout ahe Miss Rose—* Oh, Mr. 1 is euch ah » fellow Miss Josie. And has such a lovely blonde mustache.” Both—* He was just too sweet for any- thin L. L, LANE , their pitcher uilse Mallot friend, said old Rednose Milkwater, as he saw his meck nein at the bar, 1 Mt you were tionist? Sola under his b ec just sent me here to ¢ this fellow for violating the excise law Mh, T see,” said “this is what you may exll a spy other he rey “Our tain ev Md Rednose; | he ordered | The beauti | Now les Here comes an old be; His nickel « chance. all covered with dust, at-buttons are spattered with rust, entoomed in a red flannel rag, ft foot’s inclined v strongly to drag. nose has had recent repair, {loam are cone in his His knee sure, has know by his g mournin sling, hear him sing ) his broken front teeth, like the wind thro’ 1 tree “0 give me the life of a Cycler so free o 8 © © (@ © © | He'll cross out the | pale | When this is received thro’ the follo | ©<"To fixing a man and setti in: | “To reducing a joint and nailing on shin: » taking ten stitches with platinum wire; To rubbing in oil, (the Lord only knows where’) To ten yards of flannel (and string if you will), And two hours of labor in this bill, © The discount to wheelmen leaves ninety “ Which amount, please, remit to Q. Plaster, M.D.” * free” and you'll see bim turn mail: ¢ his ce wapr. comicbooks.com